Be Wee With Bea
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Fixing Consequences"An allegory in the Winnie the Pooh genre
8 total reviews
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
Your story was an entertaining read and left the reader wanting more, I loved your characters the best, they seemed well thought out and planned and therefor well executed
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Your story was an entertaining read and left the reader wanting more, I loved your characters the best, they seemed well thought out and planned and therefor well executed
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I am glad you enjoyed it. There is more to come.
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a well-written, interesting post. just came int the story but can still keep up with what's going on. In a way, it read like an Aesop's fable, a story with an underlining message, a lesson behind it.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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This is a well-written, interesting post. just came int the story but can still keep up with what's going on. In a way, it read like an Aesop's fable, a story with an underlining message, a lesson behind it.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your extended review. I do hope people can heal from the messages within these chapters. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Bridget Myer
I really enjoyed this general chapter of ' Be Wee With Bea'.
Your writing was engaging, little hard to follow at the start, however after a few reads I settled right in to the adventure.
I found Paragraph 2 seemed to look quite blocky and seemed to be very hard to read out of all the paragraphs.
I can't Gauge what it was or how I would endeavour to improve it (probably need someone with a little more experience than I.)
At times to me it seemed to have some similarities into the more traditional narrative stories of 'Winnie the Pooh' and 'Tarka the otter'
The overall chapter to me transformed into a strategising and growing, story. It could be transposed or morphed into a children's story, as it I would guestemate it is aimed at upper primary to young teen...is that correct?
Working in a junior school in the early years grade prep to two, some of the comments you made could very easily move into the development of independence and positive mind sets.
I feel you have captured a very adept portrayal of a gauntlet of feelings, emotions, direction, and growth.
I have included some snippets from your piece that I particularly liked;
'she made her COURAGE get bigger than her FEARS'
'to wait in the silence and WAIT and be CALM '
'she told him everything that had happened and was as HONEST '
' told her that she did DESERVE to have such a friend'
'She had to be ready to do more hard work,'
'She was practicing her ALERT but CALM exercise'
'Doing her talk to the MAKER OF HOPE made WAITING tolerable.'
'needed to give him that time'
Thanks so much for sharing.
Regards B.M
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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I really enjoyed this general chapter of ' Be Wee With Bea'.
Your writing was engaging, little hard to follow at the start, however after a few reads I settled right in to the adventure.
I found Paragraph 2 seemed to look quite blocky and seemed to be very hard to read out of all the paragraphs.
I can't Gauge what it was or how I would endeavour to improve it (probably need someone with a little more experience than I.)
At times to me it seemed to have some similarities into the more traditional narrative stories of 'Winnie the Pooh' and 'Tarka the otter'
The overall chapter to me transformed into a strategising and growing, story. It could be transposed or morphed into a children's story, as it I would guestemate it is aimed at upper primary to young teen...is that correct?
Working in a junior school in the early years grade prep to two, some of the comments you made could very easily move into the development of independence and positive mind sets.
I feel you have captured a very adept portrayal of a gauntlet of feelings, emotions, direction, and growth.
I have included some snippets from your piece that I particularly liked;
'she made her COURAGE get bigger than her FEARS'
'to wait in the silence and WAIT and be CALM '
'she told him everything that had happened and was as HONEST '
' told her that she did DESERVE to have such a friend'
'She had to be ready to do more hard work,'
'She was practicing her ALERT but CALM exercise'
'Doing her talk to the MAKER OF HOPE made WAITING tolerable.'
'needed to give him that time'
Thanks so much for sharing.
Regards B.M
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Wow, this is the most time anyone has taken on a review of anything I've written. It looks like the ones I do. I was a creative writing teacher and reviewing comes so easily for me. I like the allusions to other literature. I do that too. It is of the Winnie the Pooh genre so it is suited for anyone, but will be chiefly marketed as children's reading. Thank you again.
Comment from James Garrity
I think this is a really enlightening bit of writing, the use of the animals and nature is great for this story. My only suggestion would be maybe break it up a bit to create a bit of rhythm, even though its a story I think better pacing would bring this even more alive. But reads as well as some of the classic old school novels that we all love so really enjoyed it! Thanks!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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I think this is a really enlightening bit of writing, the use of the animals and nature is great for this story. My only suggestion would be maybe break it up a bit to create a bit of rhythm, even though its a story I think better pacing would bring this even more alive. But reads as well as some of the classic old school novels that we all love so really enjoyed it! Thanks!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your detailed review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Mabaker
This was a delight to read, Liz. I truly enjoyed it and impressed my favourite reviewer, even found time to write such an interesting lesson, for all of us humans who think ourselves above the animals. Lovely chapter, sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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This was a delight to read, Liz. I truly enjoyed it and impressed my favourite reviewer, even found time to write such an interesting lesson, for all of us humans who think ourselves above the animals. Lovely chapter, sincerely Anne
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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I'm so glad you enjoyed this. It actually happened. Much of this book is autobiographical. It's where I get my ideas for Bea's adventures. I went to Alanon that evening & they told me I did deserve a cat. And with a dish of tuna I sat a distance away. So as you read each Chapter, you get to know a little of me. Thank you for your supportive review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Liz. Your story is so delightful. Worded beautifully. So many good lines within--too many to point out. I did like this part very much: "She stood there with her "if only's" and "why's" and "no it can't be's". Then she made her COURAGE get bigger than her FEARS and sounded two loud slaps on the water."
Another good one: "Finally. Always finally. When all else fails, Bea remembers to do her talk to THE MAKER of EVERYTHING."
Great job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Hi Liz. Your story is so delightful. Worded beautifully. So many good lines within--too many to point out. I did like this part very much: "She stood there with her "if only's" and "why's" and "no it can't be's". Then she made her COURAGE get bigger than her FEARS and sounded two loud slaps on the water."
Another good one: "Finally. Always finally. When all else fails, Bea remembers to do her talk to THE MAKER of EVERYTHING."
Great job. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Marilyn, thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. I'm so glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from Beck Fenton
I had forgotten the disagreement, but I was soon caught right up with Bea's struggles to find him.
I like this chapter very much. I'm getting used to the capitalization of certain words and can see the thoughtful way you lead the reader into self-exploration and betterment exercises.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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I had forgotten the disagreement, but I was soon caught right up with Bea's struggles to find him.
I like this chapter very much. I'm getting used to the capitalization of certain words and can see the thoughtful way you lead the reader into self-exploration and betterment exercises.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Thank you for checking it out and doing such a nice teview. I'm glad it's making sense to you & that you are enjoying it
Comment from mally mack
I haven't read this whole story, just this chapter. I really enjoy the photo that accompanies it. It helps to draw a picture in my mind of what Bea looks like. I'm curious as to why certain words are capitalized. Some make sense. But others- well made me want to inquire.
Best wishes
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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I haven't read this whole story, just this chapter. I really enjoy the photo that accompanies it. It helps to draw a picture in my mind of what Bea looks like. I'm curious as to why certain words are capitalized. Some make sense. But others- well made me want to inquire.
Best wishes
Comment Written 02-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your involved review. The italicized words follow a pattern which is significant throughout the entire story. Some are her exercises, which are introduced in Ch.1. she's doing exercises to be wee because she was bullied for her size. Some of the others are her struggles ie. FEARS. I would invite you to read ch 1 and 3 at least. They are all short. I want people to absorb them. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
