Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

The combination of your evocative description of the season of autumn and its relationship and effect on the human condition makes this a pleasure to read. It has an altogether harmonious feel about it.
Two small suggestions for your consideration:
The last of it (that) seems to carry the summer with it [delete]
As if by magic, making it seem like (a) whole other world. [add]

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for your excellent review my friend, and your encouraging comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and found all the connections between the image of fading summer, as I would put it, and change in life, in love. I liked that image and i'm glad it worked. I appreciate the support as always estory

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi estory, I read this lovely poem and then I read it again. I came in late to this, but I didn't want to let it go. Your wonderful words painting the passing of the summer and the early autumn setting in brought me the feeling of your wonderful poem. Also the contrast to where I live, where we are in plain summer and everything is still growing. What you describe won't start to happen before late October and sometimes even later. Such a great imagery you painted with your words. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for your excellent review and all your wonderful comments and perspectives on this poem. I'm glad that you enjoyed the changing seasons, and the changes in life this poem represents. It was fun to write and i'm glad so many people found it so inspiring. I appreciate the support. Here in North Carolina summer won't quite end for another month and a half or so. But then we have a nice autumn stretching into December estory

Comment from LinMyLo

Excellent

This is a beautifully written poem. I could feel the flow and felt I was being taken along with it. Nice choice of words throughout.

One suggestion: 3rd paragraph, next to last line--The word "picking" works fine in the line "picking a new path" and you may have selected it to repeat the "p". However, I wonder if the word "choosing" might be a better choice. To me, "choosing" seems a stronger word for the intention of the line, it would flow well with the word "through" below, and even bounce of "Looped" above. Also, you used "picking" in the first line of that stanza. With that said, however, that may be the very reason you repeated "picking", I'm not sure. But if it is meant to have that same meaning in both those lines, then just ignore the suggestion.

At any rate, this is a very lovely poem.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting comments and suggestions offering your perspective on the poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it so moving. Yea, picking has to be part of the musical elements of the line, the alliterative music in the language. I believe in the description of poetry as the art of making music with language. Articulating the human experience. I appreciate the support and comments estory

Comment from duchessofdrumborg

Excellent

"August", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for this excellent review and your very encouraging remarks about this poem and my work. You can check out the others in this series in my portfolio if you want. I have been reading and writing poetry for about four decades now, so I guess with practice and study comes a measure of skill. My poetry has been heavily influenced by poets like Coleridge, Keats, Yeats, Heaney and Jack Anderson, along with Denise Levertov. I think those poets can be seen in my poetry. But I am going in another direction somewhat in the next book, Fragmention, a more fractured style, poems split into couplets and stanzas, the subject matter more on the fragmented nature of modern experience, I think. estory

reply by duchessofdrumborg on 05-Aug-2018

estory,

You're very welcome.
Good luck with your next book.

Take care, God bless you and best wishes,
the Duchess

Comment from Robbie Yates

Excellent

Somehow, you've helped me understand what I find so refreshing - and yet melancholy - about Autumn (or Fall, if you're American). A beautiful piece about changes and the passage of time.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your encouraging comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it refreshing. estory

Comment from jenintorre

Excellent

This is a very poignant and beautifully written free verse poem. I really enjoyed reading it.
It describes the end of summer and relationships so well. So sensitively written. All the best Jen.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for the five star review and your encouraging comments supporting this piece I appreciate the support and the perspective estory

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think that nature has everything to do with love. Nature's tapestry has been woven into a love story that is beyond understanding, beyond the eye, God lived In the void before it! And darkness is as light to God, notably, eyes have little to do with seeing, but creation was given to man as a gift, the senses to appreciate it, the insight to know the difference. A beautifully work that actually highlights this, whether meant or not.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your encouraging comments supporting this poem. Yours is an interesting perspective and actually speaks of the use of the seasons as a metaphor for life experience. The changing seasons are the backdrop for the changing relationships, the changing sense of self at the heart of this poem. You focused on the pastoral romantic conventions used in the framework of the theme estory

reply by royowen on 04-Aug-2018

A superb job

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello estory
I like how you used free verse to describe the month of August with its beauty slowly leading into the Season of autumn especially when you are describing so well when a couple hand and hand can find love from strolling and admiring the beauty of Mother Nature
Gert

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for your excellent review and for your encouraging comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and that it resonated so well with you. A mark of the success of the writing estory

reply by Gert sherwood on 04-Aug-2018

You are welcome estory.
Gert

Comment from friartuck

Excellent

A very apt metaphor for life itself! I saw myself (at age 76) in many of your lines and scenes, and I could see the meaning behind them. A romantic poem to be sure, but also a simple look back at a life lived to the fullest.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your interesting perspective on this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and that it seems to have captured something of your experience of life estory

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem about August and the expectation of change in the air. The summer is moving to its end and winter will soon knocking at the door. We on the other hand preparing for the summer months that will soon be part of our lives again here on the other side of the world.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018

Thanks so much for the five star review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I think you got exactly what i was trying to say about changing relationships, the experience of change estory