The Fall
a time for caution35 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> It is so true when there are days that I feel my balance is not all that sharp. And I could feel where a man who is up in age and feeble in his lower extremities where it would not be able for him to secure a steady stance.
> You have captured the essence of this fear and most elderly men and women and their fears of falling. This is so prevalent for the elderly is soomething that's always on their mind but not those of who are young and not aware of this predicament in this ailing infliction that becomes elderly people.
>The luck in the contest, Tony, and I really like this one as one could really relate to this one as they grow older.
Alx
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
  |
Cheers, Tony;
> It is so true when there are days that I feel my balance is not all that sharp. And I could feel where a man who is up in age and feeble in his lower extremities where it would not be able for him to secure a steady stance.
> You have captured the essence of this fear and most elderly men and women and their fears of falling. This is so prevalent for the elderly is soomething that's always on their mind but not those of who are young and not aware of this predicament in this ailing infliction that becomes elderly people.
>The luck in the contest, Tony, and I really like this one as one could really relate to this one as they grow older.
Alx
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thanks, Alex. Exactly right! All the best, Tony.
-
You're very welcome, Tony, and take care and have a good one in your land above all others.
Heaven watching the Australian news and I was amazed that New Zealand is a prime minister who has given birth while in office and I think that's amazingly great.
Take care
Alx
Comment from Artasylum
TFAWCUS... this is precious to me... this beautiful human being having lived a life full of life and he is now to a point it takes all of his focus just to remain upright and stay alive. beautiful. yours, diana
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
|
TFAWCUS... this is precious to me... this beautiful human being having lived a life full of life and he is now to a point it takes all of his focus just to remain upright and stay alive. beautiful. yours, diana
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
Thanks, Diana. I guess it happens to the best of us! Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an excellent example of short flash fiction with a play on the word fall. The second paragraph is a gem with great imagery. If one can truly 'enjoy' such short prose then I certainly 'enjoyed' this.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
|
This is an excellent example of short flash fiction with a play on the word fall. The second paragraph is a gem with great imagery. If one can truly 'enjoy' such short prose then I certainly 'enjoyed' this.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
Thanks, Jim. I was going to develop this into a free verse offering, but thought I might as well go for the money. All the best. Tony
-
I thought it one of the best I have seen -- very tight. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment from Just2Write
Good use of double entendre in this post, Tony. Falls are one of the leading causes of death in elders. Falls also put many seniors into nursing homes. The autumn is also akin to our so called golden years. The turn of a full, rich life, into the splendour of colour and beauty, just before winter and closure of life's cycle comes to pass.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
|
Good use of double entendre in this post, Tony. Falls are one of the leading causes of death in elders. Falls also put many seniors into nursing homes. The autumn is also akin to our so called golden years. The turn of a full, rich life, into the splendour of colour and beauty, just before winter and closure of life's cycle comes to pass.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
-
Many thanks for your review of The Fall, Rose. Glad you enjoyed the connection between the Fall and the fall. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Sooo true. We seniors need to watch where we are going, choose each footstep carefully, lest we fall. A broken bone can do an elderly person in. Good topic Tony and a good entry for the contest. Good luck. Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
|
Sooo true. We seniors need to watch where we are going, choose each footstep carefully, lest we fall. A broken bone can do an elderly person in. Good topic Tony and a good entry for the contest. Good luck. Nancy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
-
Thanks, Nancy. You are right. Care needs to be taken. We don't bounce back as well as we used to! All the best, Tony
Comment from rama devi
I love the metaphorical subtlety here. The story is unusual, as it has no 'conflict resolution' but hints at one. Excellent word economy, POV, pacing and characterization. This conveys a lot in few words, and I especially love this:
He held the light and shade of trees, not in his eyes, but in his memory and in his liver-spotted skin.
It seems more of a character-sketch than a 'story', but in a good way. I hope the judges like it!
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
|
I love the metaphorical subtlety here. The story is unusual, as it has no 'conflict resolution' but hints at one. Excellent word economy, POV, pacing and characterization. This conveys a lot in few words, and I especially love this:
He held the light and shade of trees, not in his eyes, but in his memory and in his liver-spotted skin.
It seems more of a character-sketch than a 'story', but in a good way. I hope the judges like it!
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
-
Many thanks for your critique and observations about this one, RD. I also wondered how it might fare as a story. It is, as you say, more of a character sketch. I had at first intended it as a poem. All the best, Tony
-
:-))))
Comment from Halfree
Within the boundaries of the contest,very good. Second paragraph, well done, caught a moment. Little play on words with sharp fall. Started to 5 it, second read, definite 6.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
 |
Within the boundaries of the contest,very good. Second paragraph, well done, caught a moment. Little play on words with sharp fall. Started to 5 it, second read, definite 6.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Many thanks for the review and the six stars, Halfree. Much appreciated. I started writing this as a poem, but couldn't get it to work. Hence throwing my hat in the ring for the 75-word flash fiction. Glad you enjoyed it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It told an emotional tale in a small amount of words. Autumn is my favorite time of year because of the abundance of gorgeous colors. Like this poor man, I also fear falling. Chemo depleted my bone density by 50% so a fall can be dangerous. Good luck with contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It told an emotional tale in a small amount of words. Autumn is my favorite time of year because of the abundance of gorgeous colors. Like this poor man, I also fear falling. Chemo depleted my bone density by 50% so a fall can be dangerous. Good luck with contest.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thanks, Barbara. Sorry to hear about the bone density problem. I, too, sometimes find myself looking down sometimes, rather than taking in my wider surroundings. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from kiwijenny
Tony I can relate. A couple of years ago I fell on a steep drive way when my foot twisted into a pothole...I dislocated my shoulder. Now I definitely am more careful. I love your twist on Fall...and stubble face
Well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
Tony I can relate. A couple of years ago I fell on a steep drive way when my foot twisted into a pothole...I dislocated my shoulder. Now I definitely am more careful. I love your twist on Fall...and stubble face
Well penned
God bless
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thanks, Jenny. It pays to be careful - such falls can have a devastating long term effect. My wife had to have a complete shoulder replacement last year and will never regain full movement of the joint. Best wishes, Tony
-
I'm so sorry.
Comment from trimple
Good morning, Tony
A very enjoyable read indeed. These short flash fiction stories do well to have a nice bump right at the end and you do that well here as we are left to imagine this aged gentleman taking a gingerly stroll through the park-- head down and mindful of his steps as he passes the falling leaves.
Nice touches with your well-chosen descriptions of the old man.
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
|
Good morning, Tony
A very enjoyable read indeed. These short flash fiction stories do well to have a nice bump right at the end and you do that well here as we are left to imagine this aged gentleman taking a gingerly stroll through the park-- head down and mindful of his steps as he passes the falling leaves.
Nice touches with your well-chosen descriptions of the old man.
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
-
Many thanks for your review, Tracey. A nice bump at the end! Love that description, given the subject of the flash fiction! Best wishes, Tony
-
Nice that you recognised my deliberate comment :)
