Reviews from

We Are The World

We rise by lifting others.

4 total reviews 
Comment from zanya
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes how true - an interesting obeservation here, 'noble values he instilled in our coding' - some of these we certainly seem to be forgetting ! thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 31-May-2020


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
    Ciao zanya !

    It?s nice to see someone cares to take a look at earlier poems. I appreciate that.

    I only started writing poems in July2018 ..

    ... it helped me cope with my father?s passing in sept2017

    He was the center of my world after my mamma died in dec.2006.

    I cared for him and we supported each other .. when he died my life was empty ...then nine months later I started to think in rhyme and I began to write my thoughts down ..

    Soon after I found fanstory

    I m still enjoying the experience ..

    It?s sad that mankind tends to pursue wealth and power rather than help one another and thrive in peace and harmony.


Comment from robyn corum
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

T.,

A wonderful and idealistic proposal. I think it would work beautifully, if only you could convince everyone to participate. *smile*

Some notes, if I may?
1.) the punctuation goes right beside the previous word--

better world for all humanity( no space) ,we
must open our heart(s) [plural people, plural hearts] towards God and embrace the noble values he instilled in our coding like(no space) : truth(no space) , honesty(no space) ,(space)loyalty, respect(no space) , love and peace.

Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
    Thank you Robyn Corum for reading my entry and for giving it a vote.

    I realise that if we do not all chip in sadly not as much as we hope will change ..yet if I don't try I would be guilt for not doing at least my part.

    and who knows, maybe, just maybe ,a good action of mine might inspire someone else who in turn may follow suit.

    Thank you for pointing out the grammar and puntuation errors.

Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I couldn't have said it better. The values of truth, honesty, loyalty, respect, love and peace are pivotal to our ability to move the human race forward successfully. And this message needs to be conveyed to every single human being and as soon as they are out of the womb and can be taught this. God has to be in everything we do.

It is very easy to impart negative values, but if we practice the positive ones and share them, they will be the acceptable norms.

It is worth trying.

Very powerful message. The required lines and words have been used.

Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
    I'm happy you enjoyed reading my post and thank you Sandra Elizabeth Williams for the generous vote.

    yes I do think it's worth trying..

    I have my faults but I do my best to behave and help others where I can . It's a good feeling being part of something positive.

Comment from Lady Jane
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

To save our civilisation from auto destruction and build a better world for all humanity ,we - remove the space before the comma and place one between comma and the word we.

honesty ,loyalty - same here.

Nicely penned 25 words here with an important message. Words were carefully chosen and the piece was simplistic and meaningful. Nice job and good luck.
Janelle

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
    Thanks JaCherie for your kind vote. It was actually 40 words ..but just the same not alot to formulate a concept with those 4 given words.

    I adjusted the grammar and punctuation errors..I'm very off handed/careless . I always think no one really cares ...But I 'm grateful to you and Robyn Corum for pointing them out to me...I will try to avoid them in the future.