My Brothers' Keeper
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Ice Cream"Rachel feels responsible for her brother.
9 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh - I wonder what got Gray's attention. I had to smile at Rachel's mom's hinting at a wedding and the opportunity to take job close to home. That sounds like everyone's mom!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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Oh - I wonder what got Gray's attention. I had to smile at Rachel's mom's hinting at a wedding and the opportunity to take job close to home. That sounds like everyone's mom!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much Helen for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I agree that it sounds like everyone's mom. Hugs and smiles!
Comment from Pantygynt
In places where population is sparse and facilities spread far apart things like marriage and professioncan get at cross purposes. I wonder how this is all going to pan out.
Is that a fact -- that a wild animal having been domesticated loses its threatening odour as far as other animals are concerned? If so I find that quite fascinating.
One little grammatica point needs correction.
'The two sister-in-laws broke out in laughter...' The correct plural of sister-in-law is sisters-in-law. (Many sisters just one law. Lol.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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In places where population is sparse and facilities spread far apart things like marriage and professioncan get at cross purposes. I wonder how this is all going to pan out.
Is that a fact -- that a wild animal having been domesticated loses its threatening odour as far as other animals are concerned? If so I find that quite fascinating.
One little grammatica point needs correction.
'The two sister-in-laws broke out in laughter...' The correct plural of sister-in-law is sisters-in-law. (Many sisters just one law. Lol.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Thank you again for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate your kind comments. I will fix that in a moment. I can only attest to the three wild animals that were domesticated and after about the first year other animals, even newly introduced ones did not seem afraid or wary.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Alie. It seems that everyone is getting along well. Good descriptions of family interactions.
I did find a small typo to fix here: "The ranch had hired hands, but Bob still like (liked) getting his hands dirty."
I thought it was unusual that Rachel had such a strong reaction to her mom asking if there was a pending marriage. That isn't an unusual question for a parent to ask. An interesting chapter and I'm wondering what will happen next. Marilyn
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018
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Hi Alie. It seems that everyone is getting along well. Good descriptions of family interactions.
I did find a small typo to fix here: "The ranch had hired hands, but Bob still like (liked) getting his hands dirty."
I thought it was unusual that Rachel had such a strong reaction to her mom asking if there was a pending marriage. That isn't an unusual question for a parent to ask. An interesting chapter and I'm wondering what will happen next. Marilyn
Comment Written 29-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018
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Thanks Marilyn so much for reading and reviewing. I will fix that typo in a couple of minutes. I really appreciate your kind comments and catching my boo boos.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Gray is a big help, I see. Dogs generally are, for their sense of smell is 500 times as good as our own. I've heard that some hospitals use dogs as "cancer sniffers" because many can smell cancer in a patient.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Gray is a big help, I see. Dogs generally are, for their sense of smell is 500 times as good as our own. I've heard that some hospitals use dogs as "cancer sniffers" because many can smell cancer in a patient.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing Phyllis and for your kind words. Yes dogs are used actually for many medical reasons, obviously for the blind, but also the hearing impaired, cancer detection, diabetes, epilepsy, PTSD, anxiety- it is all to do with their intense sense of smell. My friend had a cat that could actually smell death, she used to take it to a nursing home and it would either get on a lap or on the bed of someone who would die within 24 hours. Animals are sensitive.
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
For the longest while I wanted to be a forensic medical examiner, or maybe a coroner but then I thought it's to much school haha, I enjoyed the story chapter
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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For the longest while I wanted to be a forensic medical examiner, or maybe a coroner but then I thought it's to much school haha, I enjoyed the story chapter
Comment Written 27-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for your kind comments.
Comment from Mabaker
Oh he is so clever Gray. Granddad sounds a lovely man and Grandma a lady with her brain switched on. She would rather Rachel get married than live 'in sin'
I wonder what Gray will locate. His marvellous nose has picked up a scent, I'll wait with patience for the next instalment. You get these six because this story is very readable. Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Oh he is so clever Gray. Granddad sounds a lovely man and Grandma a lady with her brain switched on. She would rather Rachel get married than live 'in sin'
I wonder what Gray will locate. His marvellous nose has picked up a scent, I'll wait with patience for the next instalment. You get these six because this story is very readable. Love U Anne.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much Anne for your sixes and for your kind comments, I really appreciate that you are reading and reviewing, luv u alie.
Comment from robyn corum
Alie,
You really have me at a loss. Most of the time I can kinda figure out where a story is headed - but you've got me baffled. *smile* I just have to follow to find out!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) "So, Rachel," her mother asked, "what are your plans with Daniel(?)
2.) A chance to get away from the woman folk(,)" Bob asked.
3.) Bob, something has grabbed Gray's attention(,)" Daniel said.
Hope there's nothing dangerous afoot! I'll be waiting for more!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Alie,
You really have me at a loss. Most of the time I can kinda figure out where a story is headed - but you've got me baffled. *smile* I just have to follow to find out!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) "So, Rachel," her mother asked, "what are your plans with Daniel(?)
2.) A chance to get away from the woman folk(,)" Bob asked.
3.) Bob, something has grabbed Gray's attention(,)" Daniel said.
Hope there's nothing dangerous afoot! I'll be waiting for more!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Ahaaaa, wow I finally gotcha Robyn. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I will fix those things in a moment.
Comment from poetwatch
All right, Alie. I hear wedding bells ringing in the not to far further. A job for Rachel and maybe Daniel as a detective to round up the rustlers and for Grey a job as a tracker. One good happy family, protecting the townsfolk and neighbors. Good story and good read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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All right, Alie. I hear wedding bells ringing in the not to far further. A job for Rachel and maybe Daniel as a detective to round up the rustlers and for Grey a job as a tracker. One good happy family, protecting the townsfolk and neighbors. Good story and good read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and for your kind comments.
Comment from Lady Jane
(Both) hollered with delight and glee when ice cream cones were introduced, followed by pony rides. - suggestion as to not start a sentence with an AND, then repeat it a few words down :)
The four women wandered over to a bench (as) Claire (sat) with Sylvia and watched the twins who had become interested in the dwarf pigs. - just trying to tighten this long sentence up a bit - suggestion
what are your plans with Daniel(?)
Besides, it is about time(.) (Y)ou are not getting (any) younger and can't tie your life to your job."
I will be going home with Daniel for a couple of days(,) then back to work to figure things out. - cleaned up sentence structure
Now his job is two-fold(.) (H)e is the town's primary physician(.) (T)here is a hospitalist here who oversees the hospital, the interns and admitted patients. - cleaned up sentence structure
(O)f course that would put you close - now was used one/two sentences up. It works ok without the 'now'
Gray proved to be non-threatening to any of the animals(.) (He) was indeed...
He had been around Daniel so long the wild wolf scent was gone(.) (He) (now) smelled of adults, children and other animals.
We'll head out to the back fifty(.) Ned Pearson has land that abuts ours, so the cattle and horses share space.
He is one of the ones that has suffered loss(.) (I)n fact, ... - this section can stand alone.
I've taken the liberty make edit suggestions. The chapter is solid and just needs some tightening up. Let me know when edits are made and I'll come upgrade the stars. Loved reading and enjoying this penning. Keep writing. It suits you :)
Janelle
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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(Both) hollered with delight and glee when ice cream cones were introduced, followed by pony rides. - suggestion as to not start a sentence with an AND, then repeat it a few words down :)
The four women wandered over to a bench (as) Claire (sat) with Sylvia and watched the twins who had become interested in the dwarf pigs. - just trying to tighten this long sentence up a bit - suggestion
what are your plans with Daniel(?)
Besides, it is about time(.) (Y)ou are not getting (any) younger and can't tie your life to your job."
I will be going home with Daniel for a couple of days(,) then back to work to figure things out. - cleaned up sentence structure
Now his job is two-fold(.) (H)e is the town's primary physician(.) (T)here is a hospitalist here who oversees the hospital, the interns and admitted patients. - cleaned up sentence structure
(O)f course that would put you close - now was used one/two sentences up. It works ok without the 'now'
Gray proved to be non-threatening to any of the animals(.) (He) was indeed...
He had been around Daniel so long the wild wolf scent was gone(.) (He) (now) smelled of adults, children and other animals.
We'll head out to the back fifty(.) Ned Pearson has land that abuts ours, so the cattle and horses share space.
He is one of the ones that has suffered loss(.) (I)n fact, ... - this section can stand alone.
I've taken the liberty make edit suggestions. The chapter is solid and just needs some tightening up. Let me know when edits are made and I'll come upgrade the stars. Loved reading and enjoying this penning. Keep writing. It suits you :)
Janelle
Comment Written 27-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for your kind comments, I will make those corrections in about 5 minutes, I have one more review to read. Thanks again.
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Upgraded 😇
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Oh thank you so much.
