Africa
See Notes: A world beyond my wildest imagination.68 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
I have had several friends who lived in Africa, North in Nairobi and the Ivory Coast. Very different places, both hot. My one friend travels back and forth, he is a consultant for a mission and he helps a group of men translating the bible into their language. It is usually a very hot and tiring, but rewarding trip. He always loses weight and got sick his last trip and passed out at the airport standing in the customs line. Poor guy. But they took very good care of him. Were you recently in Africa? It would be so fascinating to see animals in their natural habitat. Well done. Rox
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
  |
I have had several friends who lived in Africa, North in Nairobi and the Ivory Coast. Very different places, both hot. My one friend travels back and forth, he is a consultant for a mission and he helps a group of men translating the bible into their language. It is usually a very hot and tiring, but rewarding trip. He always loses weight and got sick his last trip and passed out at the airport standing in the customs line. Poor guy. But they took very good care of him. Were you recently in Africa? It would be so fascinating to see animals in their natural habitat. Well done. Rox
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
-
I love Africa for it's dichotomous climates... East Africa is my favorite. How fun... do you ever visit your friends. It has been a couple of years since Nairobi... thought I would document before it disappeared. Thanks so much and hope your friend is better. yours, diana
-
I have not visited. My friends that were in Nairobi are now my neighbors =} and my other friend goes to work very hard. So no visiting. He is well now. Thanks. Rox
Comment from Michael Steinert
Always love a poem that teaches me something and your notes are fascinating. I've never been but it is definitely on my list, good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
|
Always love a poem that teaches me something and your notes are fascinating. I've never been but it is definitely on my list, good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
-
Hey Michael... I just wanted to get this down before I forgot... happy I could teach kiddo. yours, diana
Comment from Swampfox1
I like the picture it serves the poem well. Your poem is listed as General Poetry. I looked at your author notes which contain descriptions and definitions of animals in the poem but nowhere is there details or confirmation of denial of the poem being true or fiction. It certainly sounds like you were there and I am glad your poem made it to the top of the list. My favorite part is: As I step to the earth, Jalali grabs me back. First rule, never, don't ever do that! That makes it sound very realistic. Thanks for sharing, have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
|
I like the picture it serves the poem well. Your poem is listed as General Poetry. I looked at your author notes which contain descriptions and definitions of animals in the poem but nowhere is there details or confirmation of denial of the poem being true or fiction. It certainly sounds like you were there and I am glad your poem made it to the top of the list. My favorite part is: As I step to the earth, Jalali grabs me back. First rule, never, don't ever do that! That makes it sound very realistic. Thanks for sharing, have a blessed day.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
-
Hey Swampfox... Thanks for the heads up I changed Africa biographical... Always a pleasure. Always remember never, don't ever do that... Yours, diana
-
You're welcome. Cool. Whatever it is I won't do it. Probably not get out of the vehicle when a wild animal is present.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Thank you Artasylum
for telling us in your amazing poetic words of all you visioned when you went to Africa your poem/story has some very vivid details of what you saw.
All I know your poem/story should be read.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
|
Thank you Artasylum
for telling us in your amazing poetic words of all you visioned when you went to Africa your poem/story has some very vivid details of what you saw.
All I know your poem/story should be read.
Gert
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
-
Gert thanks kiddo... your word were touching... always a pleasure... yours, diana
Comment from diamondbogle
This was really good. I enjoyed the story aspect of it! It also had loads of imagery! I enjoyed the flow and your choice of words! Very well done! I would love to visit Africa so this was really cool to read!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
|
This was really good. I enjoyed the story aspect of it! It also had loads of imagery! I enjoyed the flow and your choice of words! Very well done! I would love to visit Africa so this was really cool to read!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
-
Hey diamondbogle... thanks so much for your thoughtful review... yours, diana
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed reading your poem, I felt like I was on safari. You have vivid descriptions of the wildlife, creating clear pictures as you travel by. Excellent use of words that takes the reader to another place.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
|
I enjoyed reading your poem, I felt like I was on safari. You have vivid descriptions of the wildlife, creating clear pictures as you travel by. Excellent use of words that takes the reader to another place.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
-
That is so sweet of you to read and give me such a beautiful review. thanks so much mermaids... Yours, Diana
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Diana. I think perhaps you should put a note for readers to read the author's notes before reading your poem. (How is you you know so much about Africa? did I miss something? LOL
Your poem is exquisite from start to finish, my friend. Images of the country and the animals and people are all highlighted very adequately.
" Lionesses form a kill circle on the top of a hill.
Losing light fast, we choose to stay; sitting dead still.
A surgical strike commences as we pull away.
Warthogs escape, one with no leg, punctuating end of day."
Bravo! Great job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
|
Hi, Diana. I think perhaps you should put a note for readers to read the author's notes before reading your poem. (How is you you know so much about Africa? did I miss something? LOL
Your poem is exquisite from start to finish, my friend. Images of the country and the animals and people are all highlighted very adequately.
" Lionesses form a kill circle on the top of a hill.
Losing light fast, we choose to stay; sitting dead still.
A surgical strike commences as we pull away.
Warthogs escape, one with no leg, punctuating end of day."
Bravo! Great job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
-
Hey kiddo... I went to Africa and the stories that I've told here only scratches the surface of the wondrous trip... I did say see notes... but is should say read first? Thanks kiddo. as always a pleasure. yours, diana
Comment from judiverse
I am awed by your experience traveling in Africa, and you relayed it so well in your poem, I hardly noticed that you'd slipped in rhyme. That is good. My sister-in-law mas made trips to Africa and she tells about her trip and shows us her pictures, but that's as close as I've come. I like your headings, too--a good way to highlight the different places you experienced. Photographic safari--that's the only kind that's acceptable to me. Interesting description of the Maasai and of the animals and their behavior. The animals are magnificent. Great poem, and best of luck in the contest. It's very impressive. judi
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
 |
I am awed by your experience traveling in Africa, and you relayed it so well in your poem, I hardly noticed that you'd slipped in rhyme. That is good. My sister-in-law mas made trips to Africa and she tells about her trip and shows us her pictures, but that's as close as I've come. I like your headings, too--a good way to highlight the different places you experienced. Photographic safari--that's the only kind that's acceptable to me. Interesting description of the Maasai and of the animals and their behavior. The animals are magnificent. Great poem, and best of luck in the contest. It's very impressive. judi
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
-
Hey judiverse thanks so much for the heads up on this poem... I fixed. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the read it mean a lot coming from you kiddo. yours, diana
-
You're welcome. Great poem. I liked the rhyme. I was impressed that you worked it in so smoothly. Sometimes you can almost see people sweating, they're working so hard on their rhyme. judi
Comment from Gloria ....
And what an epic story this is, diana. All the imagery in Africa and all its glorious and natural habitat. Your word choices bring this masterful piece to a wonderful crescendo, and yes with the sounds, sights and scents of a fantastic safari. Yes an experience like that does shift a person's reality.
Terrific poem and I wish you great luck in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
|
And what an epic story this is, diana. All the imagery in Africa and all its glorious and natural habitat. Your word choices bring this masterful piece to a wonderful crescendo, and yes with the sounds, sights and scents of a fantastic safari. Yes an experience like that does shift a person's reality.
Terrific poem and I wish you great luck in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
-
Thanks so much Gloria... Yours, diana
Comment from Annika Fiercely
I absolutely love the imagery, the way you use alliteration makes the poem really stand out and definitely paints a clear, beautiful picture - I especially like the lines, "Basket's balance on heads of Maasai women,
steps behind a striking vision; brightly bouncing Maasai men."
and "giraffes and gazelles drift by like a dream."
It's a very effective poem in general. For me, the poem would read better if there were fewer specific details included . . . "7:30 p.m. and we're done for the day/Our lodging's a steep .5 km's away" took me out of the poem a bit because for me those details aren't relevant to how I experience your experience . . . I do like how personal the poem is, because it feels like reading a journal entry, but I think more of a focus on qualitative details, something that really stood out that other people can experience vicariously.
All in all a wonderful story told in a very engaging way!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
I absolutely love the imagery, the way you use alliteration makes the poem really stand out and definitely paints a clear, beautiful picture - I especially like the lines, "Basket's balance on heads of Maasai women,
steps behind a striking vision; brightly bouncing Maasai men."
and "giraffes and gazelles drift by like a dream."
It's a very effective poem in general. For me, the poem would read better if there were fewer specific details included . . . "7:30 p.m. and we're done for the day/Our lodging's a steep .5 km's away" took me out of the poem a bit because for me those details aren't relevant to how I experience your experience . . . I do like how personal the poem is, because it feels like reading a journal entry, but I think more of a focus on qualitative details, something that really stood out that other people can experience vicariously.
All in all a wonderful story told in a very engaging way!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
