Field of Clover
Life inside a field of clover15 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
Hey
This was such a JOY... yours, diana
Amazed her clothing was so clean;
expected brown or even green
There were no smudges from the grass
or mud or clover on this lass
In time she'd have to go to sleep
She likely thought me just a creep
I thought I'd leave her all alone
but took a photo with my phone
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hey
This was such a JOY... yours, diana
Amazed her clothing was so clean;
expected brown or even green
There were no smudges from the grass
or mud or clover on this lass
In time she'd have to go to sleep
She likely thought me just a creep
I thought I'd leave her all alone
but took a photo with my phone
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Thank you Diana. This site ?breaks? every so often for me. The number of views drops way down so the number of reviews goes down too. I appreciate your awesome review
Comment from Blue Hendrix
Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you Blue for your sweet review
Comment from Lady Jane
Oh(,) momma(,) you'd be very pleased - unless poetic licensing you opted to limit punctuation :)
I tried to grab some clover(,) too - unless poetic licensing you opted to limit punctuation :)
Why didn't you enter this into the "share a story in a poem contest?" This is way cool and the rhyme is amazing. The whimsical feel to this puts me in mind of Thumbelina. I love it. I wish I could tell you it needed something other than maybe a comma, but I can't. The rhyme was excellent, the flow was steady and didn't hang up at all, the movement and presentation of the overall package is, sigh, again, meticulous. You are a gifted poetess, my friend. I am glad I get to read your work. It inspires me. I still need a dragonfly poem, though. :)
Janelle
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Oh(,) momma(,) you'd be very pleased - unless poetic licensing you opted to limit punctuation :)
I tried to grab some clover(,) too - unless poetic licensing you opted to limit punctuation :)
Why didn't you enter this into the "share a story in a poem contest?" This is way cool and the rhyme is amazing. The whimsical feel to this puts me in mind of Thumbelina. I love it. I wish I could tell you it needed something other than maybe a comma, but I can't. The rhyme was excellent, the flow was steady and didn't hang up at all, the movement and presentation of the overall package is, sigh, again, meticulous. You are a gifted poetess, my friend. I am glad I get to read your work. It inspires me. I still need a dragonfly poem, though. :)
Janelle
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Lol. I used to put all
correct punctuation. But in poetry, punctuation is only needed when a pause is required. I read that online after other poets corrected me for doing what you
Suggest. You don?t really need a pause there so I stopped and only use punctuation when I want the reader to pause. Something to think about. I never studied poetry but many of them have. Pantygynt (Jim) teaches classes on this site and is a good resource. Thank you for an awesome review
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That's the technical writer in me, I guess. LOL. I do it for a living. It's hard to not blur lines between poetic license and my english ;) That's why I figured I share that, but...knew it's was probably poetic licensing afoot. I think I remember Jim from before. Haha.
Janelle
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Lol
Comment from lyenochka
Fun fairy story in poem, Pam! It reminds me of the movie, "A fairytale" about two girls who took pictures of fairies but it turned out to be fake. Conan Doyle interviewed them as he believed in fairies or his dad did.
Was a bit confused by these lines - what fire exploded?
"He was young and had black hair
His fire exploded in a flare; "
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Fun fairy story in poem, Pam! It reminds me of the movie, "A fairytale" about two girls who took pictures of fairies but it turned out to be fake. Conan Doyle interviewed them as he believed in fairies or his dad did.
Was a bit confused by these lines - what fire exploded?
"He was young and had black hair
His fire exploded in a flare; "
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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His fire inside. That is all. Thank you very much for your lovely review
Comment from LIJ Red
I went trout fishing once, and in an unused pasture by the stream was a huge dense
field of clover. A striking feature was the deep humming...musta been a thousand swarms of honeybees at work. I stayed outside the fence....interesting story poem about a relative of Tinkerbelll
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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I went trout fishing once, and in an unused pasture by the stream was a huge dense
field of clover. A striking feature was the deep humming...musta been a thousand swarms of honeybees at work. I stayed outside the fence....interesting story poem about a relative of Tinkerbelll
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you Red. That sounds interesting. As a kid we had six acres of mostly undeveloped property. You could hear the chiggers hum and feel the itch from their bites. They are so tiny you can?t see them. Thank you for the great review
Comment from Air Spirit
I really enjoyed this poem --- it had a light, magical, airy feel and flavor to it - - infused with fairies, wanderlust, and delightful events that unfolded in the forest green... your descriptive verbiage is a treat and incites the imagination... one of my favorite, particularly poetically pleasing was "...The clover that she slept upon
had silken sheets made from chiffon ..." this creates a lovely and sensual visualization... I also really enjoyed "...His fire exploded in a flare;
I felt an arrow in my heart
and had to wait for it to start.." thank you taking me on this journey which was delightful, insightful, light and airy --- dealt with life and included fairies! :)
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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I really enjoyed this poem --- it had a light, magical, airy feel and flavor to it - - infused with fairies, wanderlust, and delightful events that unfolded in the forest green... your descriptive verbiage is a treat and incites the imagination... one of my favorite, particularly poetically pleasing was "...The clover that she slept upon
had silken sheets made from chiffon ..." this creates a lovely and sensual visualization... I also really enjoyed "...His fire exploded in a flare;
I felt an arrow in my heart
and had to wait for it to start.." thank you taking me on this journey which was delightful, insightful, light and airy --- dealt with life and included fairies! :)
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you Cynthia for your wonderful comments and for an awesome review
Comment from Hayley Zemontas
Aww, such a cute little fantasy story from the mouth and perspective of a child. Sometimes I miss being a child because then you're still so innocent that you can find wonder and magic everywhere, and what little girl didn't dream of finding fairies or the like at the bottom of her garden. I certainly did! I loved the story that you spun and the added element about the sprite only being visible to children. Lifted my heart. X
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Aww, such a cute little fantasy story from the mouth and perspective of a child. Sometimes I miss being a child because then you're still so innocent that you can find wonder and magic everywhere, and what little girl didn't dream of finding fairies or the like at the bottom of her garden. I certainly did! I loved the story that you spun and the added element about the sprite only being visible to children. Lifted my heart. X
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you Hayley for wonderful comments and a great review
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Wow. I felt like I was lost in your dreams with this one. Such a wonderfully described fantasy. It had a Tinkerbell quality that I adored. Your rhyming pattern stayed true to form throughout. Such a joy to read. :) Could easily adapt to a fun children's story.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Wow. I felt like I was lost in your dreams with this one. Such a wonderfully described fantasy. It had a Tinkerbell quality that I adored. Your rhyming pattern stayed true to form throughout. Such a joy to read. :) Could easily adapt to a fun children's story.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you Cindy so much for the extra star. Put a smile on my face. Thank you also for your awesome review. I really appreciate both
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written fantasy poem about the little elves living between the clover in the field only children can see them appear and unfortunately they refuse to appeart on photos taken.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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A very well-written fantasy poem about the little elves living between the clover in the field only children can see them appear and unfortunately they refuse to appeart on photos taken.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you Sandra for your awesome review
Comment from Aussie
I would have written "huge, big spider," instead. Or, huge, huge spider. I loved your fantasy poem. Way back in the early 1900's two girls sighted fairies in a tree, raced back to get their old box camera and yes, they captured the photo. Keep on writing my friend we need happy, fantasy poems! Blessings, Kay.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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I would have written "huge, big spider," instead. Or, huge, huge spider. I loved your fantasy poem. Way back in the early 1900's two girls sighted fairies in a tree, raced back to get their old box camera and yes, they captured the photo. Keep on writing my friend we need happy, fantasy poems! Blessings, Kay.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Hi Kay. It is big huge spider because I needed an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one. Huge is always stressed whereas big can be either depending on the surrounding words. Thank you for your suggestions and your wonderful review
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I am sorry. Huge can be stressed or unstressed also depending what is around. I think either order works. Thank you
