Paper Dolls and Toy Soldiers
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Admonished"selections for seal submission
13 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Everybody likes Mike. I think this must be true. You have a lot of fans on this site. This is an excellent poem. It's a great entry in the Free Verse Poetry contest. You should do very well. Maybe even win. I never do, but anyway, it's fun to compete.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Everybody likes Mike. I think this must be true. You have a lot of fans on this site. This is an excellent poem. It's a great entry in the Free Verse Poetry contest. You should do very well. Maybe even win. I never do, but anyway, it's fun to compete.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Do they? Opinions vary I'd say. LOL No, this wasn't received too well. Often times folks have no idea what I'm talking about. Sometimes I agree. :)) mike
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, Admonished, reminds me of The Wasteland, sewn together with some theme that makes sense to the author, but leaves the rest of us to either say 'Hooray! What a master!" or "Huh?"
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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This free verse, Admonished, reminds me of The Wasteland, sewn together with some theme that makes sense to the author, but leaves the rest of us to either say 'Hooray! What a master!" or "Huh?"
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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I think we're safe to file this under "Huh?" :))
Comment from Richard J
An amazingly creative, imaginative, original, and entertaining work, Michael.
I loved everything about it: The intro storyline conversation, the rapesque tempo in the rhyming part; especially, the message and mind-blowing ending!
Really a splendid piece that I suspect, had it not had for the rhymes, would easily have won the Free Verse contest.
Thank you, My Friend, for sharing your fine penmanship! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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An amazingly creative, imaginative, original, and entertaining work, Michael.
I loved everything about it: The intro storyline conversation, the rapesque tempo in the rhyming part; especially, the message and mind-blowing ending!
Really a splendid piece that I suspect, had it not had for the rhymes, would easily have won the Free Verse contest.
Thank you, My Friend, for sharing your fine penmanship! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much. Glowing words indeed. Love them rhymes though. :)) mike
'Twas an honor and distinct pleasure, Mike ... may humble welcomes to you, Sir.
Comment from poetwatch
I bet you wish you was a leaf high up on a tree where life is just a a breeze away. instead of rapping with the squirrel. You pick the mother of all creation to argue with. I have to learn to write. Good entry for the Free-verse contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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I bet you wish you was a leaf high up on a tree where life is just a a breeze away. instead of rapping with the squirrel. You pick the mother of all creation to argue with. I have to learn to write. Good entry for the Free-verse contest.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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HA!!! Yes, a leaf high up on a tree.... that would work. LOL Thanks so much. :))
Comment from kiwijenny
I like the squirrel is Mother Nature...stern and grey..
Reminding us that our homes squash theirs and eventually our own
well penned imagery
God bless
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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I like the squirrel is Mother Nature...stern and grey..
Reminding us that our homes squash theirs and eventually our own
well penned imagery
God bless
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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Exactly. Thanks, Kiwi. Blessings. :))
Comment from Dean Kuch
Whether it's a rain forest in South America, the Outback of Australia, a jungle in Southeast Asia, the plains of Africa, a snow-capped mountain range in the Ukraine, or a sandy desert terrain in the Western United States, it all has a certain ambiance and beauty about it.
ALL of nature is beautiful.
A star-filled sky on a cool night in the desert is so serene. The same can be said for being out on a boat in the vastness of the sea.
Fauna and flora in jungles is exotic and lovely (and sometimes dangerous!).
These are just a few examples of how nature dazzles us.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Whether it's a rain forest in South America, the Outback of Australia, a jungle in Southeast Asia, the plains of Africa, a snow-capped mountain range in the Ukraine, or a sandy desert terrain in the Western United States, it all has a certain ambiance and beauty about it.
ALL of nature is beautiful.
A star-filled sky on a cool night in the desert is so serene. The same can be said for being out on a boat in the vastness of the sea.
Fauna and flora in jungles is exotic and lovely (and sometimes dangerous!).
These are just a few examples of how nature dazzles us.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Well put, and poetically put too. Thanks a million, Dean. :))
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Haha, you're more than welcome, Anonymous.
Best of luck! :)
Comment from Raul1
Excellent poem! I don't have any idea if you intended to explain global warming, but I like this poem very much. It looks like you care deeply about nature and mother Earth. That is awesome. No grammatical mistakes in this poem! Great job!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Excellent poem! I don't have any idea if you intended to explain global warming, but I like this poem very much. It looks like you care deeply about nature and mother Earth. That is awesome. No grammatical mistakes in this poem! Great job!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Well, yes, global warming ... ALL we do to this place and I include those of us who brag about the great work we do to protect it. Nothing wrong with that, but sometimes I wonder about a tree hugger in a fur coat, yes? Thanks so much, Raul. You always encourage. Most appreciated. :))
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You're welcome.
Comment from trimple
Absolutely brilliant!
I see that I have much to learn and will bookmark this for future learning.
Gripping, profound, and as far I can tell... A winner in any contest. (Unless of course, that contest calls for a specific poetic form) :)
No point in me highlighting particular parts of your piece, because I thought it was 'all' wonderful.
Bravo!
Kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Absolutely brilliant!
I see that I have much to learn and will bookmark this for future learning.
Gripping, profound, and as far I can tell... A winner in any contest. (Unless of course, that contest calls for a specific poetic form) :)
No point in me highlighting particular parts of your piece, because I thought it was 'all' wonderful.
Bravo!
Kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Wow. I'll just frame this and ignore absolutely every other word I hear. You're too kind and I love it. Not sure how I'll fare, but I'll be smiling regardless. :))
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He he
I absolutely loved it.
Best thing I've read in a long while.
Comment from Bridget Myer
An interesting free verse piece you had some wonderful imagery portrayed within the words of this piece.
I really enjoyed the stanza of rhyming words about stanza 13 'hugger not a mugger...driller killer etc.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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An interesting free verse piece you had some wonderful imagery portrayed within the words of this piece.
I really enjoyed the stanza of rhyming words about stanza 13 'hugger not a mugger...driller killer etc.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Such lovely words to hear. Thanks so much. Just a heads up. Normally a four star review indicates there are flaws with a piece or that it needs some kind of improvement. I see you're new, so I'm not worried. OTHERS though, might not take it too well. LOL In any case, you might want to take a look at the guidelines. If I can help, let me know. Welcome. :))
Comment from Stephanie Sangster
I really like the conversational tone of this writing! A cool idea to speak to a squirrel it almost sounds like an open mike poetry slam in the middle which is great. I also appreciate the alternation of narrator from you or the reader to the squirrel and mother nature. Good stuff.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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I really like the conversational tone of this writing! A cool idea to speak to a squirrel it almost sounds like an open mike poetry slam in the middle which is great. I also appreciate the alternation of narrator from you or the reader to the squirrel and mother nature. Good stuff.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
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Such lovely words to hear. Thanks so much. Just a heads up. Normally a four star review indicates there are flaws with a piece or that it needs some kind of improvement. I see you're new, so I'm not worried. OTHERS though, might not take it too well. LOL In any case, you might want to take a look at the guidelines. If I can help, let me know. Welcome. :))
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Ok thanks!
