The Journey
The path of the true of heart.8 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is really a lovely piece. I liked everything about it. Word choices and descriptions are wonderful. My one suggestion would be: Not start each line with a capital unless it's a new sentence. If it's a continuation of a thought from the previous line put a (,) or let it flow naturally to the next without a cap. Great job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
  |
This is really a lovely piece. I liked everything about it. Word choices and descriptions are wonderful. My one suggestion would be: Not start each line with a capital unless it's a new sentence. If it's a continuation of a thought from the previous line put a (,) or let it flow naturally to the next without a cap. Great job. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
-
Thank you,Marilyn. The caps come every time I start another line. I used to bring it down but I've gotten lazy. Yet, you are right, I'll correct it from now on.
-
You're the poet and it's your piece. Just a suggestion. So it's up to you. :) Marilyn
-
Ok Marilyn. I think I got my p's and q's and dotted my lines. You are correct, and I did what you told me and will continue to do. Thank you.
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, The Journey, lends a creative approach to the story of one's journey from the minefields of life to the recognition of the power and grace of a world building God. Nice.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
|
This free verse, The Journey, lends a creative approach to the story of one's journey from the minefields of life to the recognition of the power and grace of a world building God. Nice.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
-
Thank you Bill. I'm trying to better myself, still have a way to go before I can see the tree.
Comment from Lady Jane
This profound, and very deep free verse, is stunning. The repetitious question, "tell me what you see," is so very thought provoking and insightful. What a fitting image to accompany it as well. I enjoyed reading this piece and wish you the best in the contest.
Janelle
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
This profound, and very deep free verse, is stunning. The repetitious question, "tell me what you see," is so very thought provoking and insightful. What a fitting image to accompany it as well. I enjoyed reading this piece and wish you the best in the contest.
Janelle
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Thank you Janelle.
I'm glad you liked it. Last day to vote today. There are quite a few good poems on the "My" booth.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about an imagination, the start of creation and the path Jesus took to be born; a journey along the path true of the heart; changes appear fantastic; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
This speaks about an imagination, the start of creation and the path Jesus took to be born; a journey along the path true of the heart; changes appear fantastic; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Thank you AI. Glad it moved you. Do you vote?
-
I think I am not eligible to vote; you may read my profile.
DR ALCREATOR
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey there. I very much enjoy your paradoxical images such as wraiths shrieking in silence. One definitely understands an eerie silence in such a place.
A terrific journey through the garden to the tree in the end.
A fine free verse and I wish you great luck in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
Hey there. I very much enjoy your paradoxical images such as wraiths shrieking in silence. One definitely understands an eerie silence in such a place.
A terrific journey through the garden to the tree in the end.
A fine free verse and I wish you great luck in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
That you Gloria. I'm glad you like it. Last day to vote. Poets vote in silence also. :)
Comment from Donka Kristeva
Difficult to follow at times but these are the author's thoughts and they don't necessarily follow a pattern but are rather scattered. The message to me is that at the end of a tunnel there is always light.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
Difficult to follow at times but these are the author's thoughts and they don't necessarily follow a pattern but are rather scattered. The message to me is that at the end of a tunnel there is always light.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Donka thank you. I'm sorry you didn't get what I was writing. The Journey is about a spirit being lead by the hand through the stages of growth. Life comes back full circle with the death of that spirit or man and a renew spirit or man, that was worth the trouble to raise, is brought back to start life all over again. Jesus is God's Son before that he was God's helper. That was what I was taught. Voting is today only. :)
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Anon, so much beautiful imagery in this spiritual verse. It is just lovely, and I wish I could give it the review it deserves. The conversation in the poem is a great device for poetry, stops it from being preachy, like so many other poems. Some poets tell, tell, tell, rather than show and it doesn't work in poetry just as it doesn't work in prose. I thought this just gorgeous and have no suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your imaginative poem, cheers, ana.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
Hello Anon, so much beautiful imagery in this spiritual verse. It is just lovely, and I wish I could give it the review it deserves. The conversation in the poem is a great device for poetry, stops it from being preachy, like so many other poems. Some poets tell, tell, tell, rather than show and it doesn't work in poetry just as it doesn't work in prose. I thought this just gorgeous and have no suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your imaginative poem, cheers, ana.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Thank you Ana. Voting is today only. There are many good poems on your voting booth. :)
Comment from fm wright
I find this poem quite beautiful. As I was reading it I imagined the garden of Eden, the fall and mans' current state, and the earth restored. Thank you for penning it. May God bless.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
I find this poem quite beautiful. As I was reading it I imagined the garden of Eden, the fall and mans' current state, and the earth restored. Thank you for penning it. May God bless.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Thank you fm wright. I'm glad you liked it. Voting is only today and there are many good poems on your booth.
