Comment from Anne B Francis

Excellent

Ah this was so lovely some old memories are rather sweet nostalgic
there is something about time long ago which makes us realise though
poor they had happy times. I loved this reminded me of my granny.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

Thanks so much Anne. I really appreciate you taking your time to review it. Regards!!

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi there,

Thank you so much for sharing this sweet story in a poem. Not only was it a great contest entry, but it evoked a great deal of emotion for me. I can only hope one day my grandchildren will have pleasant memories to reflect on - as I have so many memories of days spent with my Grandma.

Good luck in the contest,

~patty~

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2018

Thank you, Patty. I?m so glad you could walk through my memories with me. I appreciate your encouraging comments.

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

Sugarray77, this is a good entry for the Share A Story in a Poem contest. It rhymes well and has a nice feel to it, portraying the fun and innocence of childhood and good old recipes passed down through generations. I could almost smell Granny's bread.

Just a tiny suggestion - as shown in brackets ( ).

4th stanza
My brother, (who) was older by just a bit(,)
broke the rule and let (females) in.

Good luck in the competition with this most enjoyable piece. ~DD

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2018

Thanks so much DD. I like your suggestions and will look at it.

reply by PoemsOfDD on 18-Jul-2018

Always happy to help :-) ~DD

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem/story about childhood memories and the traditional skills we learn from our parents and siblings over the years, indeed something to be proud of when we learned special skills.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018

Thank you Sandra. I really appreciate your review and comments.

Comment from Quantum Traveler

Exceptional

Your Imagery Sugar is Outstanding as it lets a gentle zephyr softly caress a silent chamber of the mind which allows one to step back in time.

You have penned a Beautifully Delightful Memoir of a childhood experience through Poetry in Motion that flows smoothly from beginning to end.

As written...one can be drawn into and become part of the story.

Very Well Done...Sugar...Very Well Done...Q.T...Phil

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018

Awwww, thanks so much for sharing my reminiscing with me. I really appreciate your views and revel in your comments. I have a goal of becoming a writer that is able to envelop the reader into the flow and cadence of my poetry or prose. I have no training, so it is a constant challenge. Thanks, again. Melissa

reply by Quantum Traveler on 17-Jul-2018

Thank you Sugar.
You have been in Training since Birth and it shows in this Writing.
You have captured a moment in time an released it through the medium of poetry.
Excellent...Phil.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Damp air hangs heavy with reveries past
I love this poem...I have memories like this too.
Thanks for capturing the spirit of your grandparents
Well penned
God bless

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2018

Thanks so much, Kiwi, I appreciate you taking the time to review it and give me your thoughts. Regards!!

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

A rainy day certainly brings memories of the past. These are delightful memories you mention, too--the young girl learning the needlework from her grandma and enjoying Papa's stories about barn raisings and hootin nannies. The recipe makes a delightful memory, too. I'm afraid you lost me with the fort being a blankets and brothers club. I can only figure that the boys had their little club and brother finally was persuaded to let little sister in. Excellent rhyme in this. I think the correct form would be my brother who, not my brother which. Wonderful nostalgic piece, but you might try to make the reference to the fort a little clearer. judi

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2018

Thanks so much, Judi. I?ll go back and look at the fort again. Glad you liked it.

reply by judiverse on 16-Jul-2018

You're welcome. I hope my interpretation was right that the brother allowed his sister to join the boys only club. judi

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for sharing your family's memories in this story poem. I enjoyed your rhymes and the picture selection that reinforced your mood. Best wishes in the competition- Joan

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2018

Thank you for the great review and comments. Much appreciated.

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

Lovely poem about memories. It is always fun to think about the good old days. Well done, I saw just one thing you may wish to change, the line that says, 'My brother, which was older than me ' You may want to change 'which' to 'who'. Rox

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2018

Thanks so much Rox.

Comment from Shanbreen

Excellent

I love this story-poem of yours. It transfers me to the place where memories we make. You have so many wonderful memories and the poem is written well with rhyme and rhythm.

The ending is one of my favorite lines:
... and
leave memories for the future to find.

Good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2018

Thank you so much for your great comments and review. Regards!!