The Only Future
fabulous free verse club post26 total reviews
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
The last line made me so happy. You lead up so skillfully to that reveal. Your sentences are concise and pack a real punch. As well, there is great hope in this piece which is something we all can use.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018
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The last line made me so happy. You lead up so skillfully to that reveal. Your sentences are concise and pack a real punch. As well, there is great hope in this piece which is something we all can use.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
dp
Comment from Debbie Pope
I want to live in that world as well. I like your repetition of the line "The only future I want." It keeps the reader focused on your dream world. I find it interesting that you broke it up only one time, using the expression "Though sometimes I wish." Here, to me, you are distinguishing between what you wish for and what you want. That is something to ponder.
My only question has to do with your line "Cars park themselves of fly." Is that a typo?
Anyway, I enjoyed your poem very much.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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I want to live in that world as well. I like your repetition of the line "The only future I want." It keeps the reader focused on your dream world. I find it interesting that you broke it up only one time, using the expression "Though sometimes I wish." Here, to me, you are distinguishing between what you wish for and what you want. That is something to ponder.
My only question has to do with your line "Cars park themselves of fly." Is that a typo?
Anyway, I enjoyed your poem very much.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Thanks for reading and commenting on this poem. I appreciate all the stars and the editing help. I made the change
Joan
Comment from BermyBye50
A beautifully written free verse with a theme of infinite hope for a better future. It flows well when read and offers a glimpse of the future that is predestined to come.
Well done.
Eugene
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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A beautifully written free verse with a theme of infinite hope for a better future. It flows well when read and offers a glimpse of the future that is predestined to come.
Well done.
Eugene
Comment Written 28-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Thanks for your encouraging words and high rating Eugene.
Joan
Comment from Kathleen S.
Sweet. It would be nice if the world was peaceful all the time. Greed was forgotten like you said in your poem and a lot of other things. If people talked to each other more respectfully and actually listened more than perhaps it might.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Sweet. It would be nice if the world was peaceful all the time. Greed was forgotten like you said in your poem and a lot of other things. If people talked to each other more respectfully and actually listened more than perhaps it might.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2018
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Thanks for reading this. I am glad you liked it.
dp
Comment from Praveen J.
That is a heartfelt appeal to the world to prevent a slow descent into armageddon. We are indeed raping and pillaging the environment and leaving it unsuitable for future generations. Evocative piece of poetry. Thank you.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
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That is a heartfelt appeal to the world to prevent a slow descent into armageddon. We are indeed raping and pillaging the environment and leaving it unsuitable for future generations. Evocative piece of poetry. Thank you.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2018
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
dp
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, your idea of a future is very clear and good. I liked the poem and agree, and want all the things you've written about for myself and my children. The poem has a great flow and it is a good entry for the 'Fabulous Free Versers Club'.
Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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Hello, your idea of a future is very clear and good. I liked the poem and agree, and want all the things you've written about for myself and my children. The poem has a great flow and it is a good entry for the 'Fabulous Free Versers Club'.
Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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I am glad you liked it so much. Thanks for your time and comments. Both
are much appreciated.
Joan
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks that the only future you want is one safe for everywhere and where all are housed and clothed and greed is forgotten and all transport use clean fuel; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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This speaks that the only future you want is one safe for everywhere and where all are housed and clothed and greed is forgotten and all transport use clean fuel; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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Thank you reading and reviewing.
Joan
Comment from fm wright
A beautiful commentary in poetic form. It would be so wonderful if all you wanted could be true in this world. Thankfully there is another world to come in which this will be a reality. Till then we just have to make this one as best as we can.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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A beautiful commentary in poetic form. It would be so wonderful if all you wanted could be true in this world. Thankfully there is another world to come in which this will be a reality. Till then we just have to make this one as best as we can.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the review. I hope this can come about earlier than we think.
Joan
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So do I.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem about the future and what you wish it to be for all of us. Our lives are in such a mess today the smallest improvement will bre great.
typo
With every roll of the die[dice].
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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A very well-written free verse poem about the future and what you wish it to be for all of us. Our lives are in such a mess today the smallest improvement will bre great.
typo
With every roll of the die[dice].
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Die is the singular for dice.
Joan
Comment from jenintorre
This is a fabulous poem. I would give you six stars but I have none left. The powerful message that you portray is what almost everyone wants but sadly there is just that small minority that ...well, say no more. This would have been a good entry for the repetititon contest. Well done. Cheers Jen.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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This is a fabulous poem. I would give you six stars but I have none left. The powerful message that you portray is what almost everyone wants but sadly there is just that small minority that ...well, say no more. This would have been a good entry for the repetititon contest. Well done. Cheers Jen.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
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I am honored with the fact you wanted to give this 6 stars. Thanks for the kind and encouraging words.
Joan
