Can you
Acrostic-Loop poem41 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very creative for such a succinct poem, kahpot.
Concise and yet the message this conveys of gratitude to all who have moved you though the written word is both heartfelt and genuine.
Well done.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Very creative for such a succinct poem, kahpot.
Concise and yet the message this conveys of gratitude to all who have moved you though the written word is both heartfelt and genuine.
Well done.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much and for all the help****kahpot
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The pleasure's all mine, my friend.
~Dean
Comment from rjuselius
this is a lovely philosophical sentiment dear kahjot! I thoroughly enjoyed the whole poem as it is a universal commentary. as dumbo's train puffed yes i can.
Thanks for sharing!
goodluck!
Blessings and a huge hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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this is a lovely philosophical sentiment dear kahjot! I thoroughly enjoyed the whole poem as it is a universal commentary. as dumbo's train puffed yes i can.
Thanks for sharing!
goodluck!
Blessings and a huge hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from phill doran
Hello Kahpot
Very clever. Lots to appreciate here - sticking to the contest form, knocking out an acrostic and having the accumulative or cascading device of the end words becoming the opening words.
And that is just the 'form'
The 'content' is very good too. An interesting thought, quickly developed and using a vocabulary that is open and simple enough for the reader to join in with you in your musing.
This is a very strong entry to the contest - in which I wish you well
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hello Kahpot
Very clever. Lots to appreciate here - sticking to the contest form, knocking out an acrostic and having the accumulative or cascading device of the end words becoming the opening words.
And that is just the 'form'
The 'content' is very good too. An interesting thought, quickly developed and using a vocabulary that is open and simple enough for the reader to join in with you in your musing.
This is a very strong entry to the contest - in which I wish you well
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for this excellent review****kahpot
Comment from kiwijenny
I like the internal rhyme...pretend ...comprehend...penned....never end..in
This is a lovely tribute...I too am blown away by the talent on fanstory
I like the time traveling words reaching souls line...
Well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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I like the internal rhyme...pretend ...comprehend...penned....never end..in
This is a lovely tribute...I too am blown away by the talent on fanstory
I like the time traveling words reaching souls line...
Well penned
God bless
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from Pantygynt
You have to do something special with an acrobatic to make it worthwhile. This case each line's last word is linked by repetition to the fist word of the next line creating a chain the end of which concates by becoming the first word of the whole thing.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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You have to do something special with an acrobatic to make it worthwhile. This case each line's last word is linked by repetition to the fist word of the next line creating a chain the end of which concates by becoming the first word of the whole thing.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your very encouraging review****kahpot
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello kahpot, Your poem is very good - nicely done. Acrostic style poems can be difficult to write and can sound choppy from line to line, but by also making this a loop poem, each line of the poem flows smoothly. I especially liked:
Time traveling words reaching souls, that, I can't
(I've always said that FS is a global family. It's interesting how well people get along when you take the faces away ... and for most FS members, their faces remain unknown.)
Again, k, your photo choice is very interesting - dramatic. Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. You have talents. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hello kahpot, Your poem is very good - nicely done. Acrostic style poems can be difficult to write and can sound choppy from line to line, but by also making this a loop poem, each line of the poem flows smoothly. I especially liked:
Time traveling words reaching souls, that, I can't
(I've always said that FS is a global family. It's interesting how well people get along when you take the faces away ... and for most FS members, their faces remain unknown.)
Again, k, your photo choice is very interesting - dramatic. Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. You have talents. LateBloomer
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for this wonderful and encouraging review****kahpot
Comment from Robbie Yates
Oh my goodness, Kahpot - what a brilliant poem. Somehow, you've managed to combine the acrostic and loop forms with the "I can't" theme - great job. I therefore think maybe you're one of those artists who've penned neverending, enduring words!
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Oh my goodness, Kahpot - what a brilliant poem. Somehow, you've managed to combine the acrostic and loop forms with the "I can't" theme - great job. I therefore think maybe you're one of those artists who've penned neverending, enduring words!
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your wonderful review****kahpot
Comment from Pamusart
Hi kahpot. This is a good entry for the contest. Are you interested in any suggestions on meter? I noticed that most of the lines here are nine syllables and much of the meter is iambic.
" I can't pretend that I comprehend
Comprehend the minds of all the artists"
Ok looking at the first line. What if you revive the word "that"? It is perfect meter However it becomes eight syllables while the next line is ten. If you are interested let me know. This is a fine poem. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hi kahpot. This is a good entry for the contest. Are you interested in any suggestions on meter? I noticed that most of the lines here are nine syllables and much of the meter is iambic.
" I can't pretend that I comprehend
Comprehend the minds of all the artists"
Ok looking at the first line. What if you revive the word "that"? It is perfect meter However it becomes eight syllables while the next line is ten. If you are interested let me know. This is a fine poem. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you and yes I am always interested I do not really understand "meter os iambic I would be very grateful for any help and assistance****kahpot
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Iambic simply means that every other syllable is stressed. I still exist. Notice that still and cost are stressed and I and ex are not. That is an example of iambic meter. My recent ones have eight syllables on every line. Each line has first an unstressed (also called female) followed by stressed and every other syllable is the opposite of the syllable before.
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revive the word that do you mean give it more life? to enhance it
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Not sure I understand your question. Let me show you something.
?I can't pretend to comprehend
To comprehend all artists? minds
Artists penned thoughts that won?t end
Their words will always live through time?
See how every other syllable is stressed. Read it aloud to see. Unfortunately this reply screen does not allow me to see what I typed. I will
Go to your portfolio to see what I wrote.
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The artists? Should be artists?. Sorry about that. And there should be no ? At the beginning. It is turning squote to question mark
I can't pretend to comprehend
To comprehend all artists? minds
They penned the thoughts that just won?t end
Their words will always live through time
So see how each line is now eight syllables starting with an unstressed syllable and ending with a stressed one. Every other one is stressed. Not everyone cares about meter. You seemed to have a lot of it naturally.
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I have already taken what I thought you meant and already it reads better
Comment from Air Spirit
Excellent poem... very cleverly constructed and I can tell you gave this allot of thought... the form is interesting and challenging... and the message is meaningful and well written... this was a nice tribute to fellow FanStorians and I am sure you brought smiles to many!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Excellent poem... very cleverly constructed and I can tell you gave this allot of thought... the form is interesting and challenging... and the message is meaningful and well written... this was a nice tribute to fellow FanStorians and I am sure you brought smiles to many!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow - I find writing a loop poem and having it recite 'unforced' difficult enough! YOU have managed to make it both a smooth-flowing loop poem AND an acrostic - kudos! A job VERY well done. Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Wow - I find writing a loop poem and having it recite 'unforced' difficult enough! YOU have managed to make it both a smooth-flowing loop poem AND an acrostic - kudos! A job VERY well done. Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your wonderful review****kahpot
