Reviews from

Be Wee With Bea

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "No One Caring"
An allegory in the Winnie the Pooh genre

10 total reviews 
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
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I love the character of Bea being sensitive to the plight of Scruffy in that very dysfunctional family into where this cat Scruffy is stuck with. I look forward to reading the detachment exercises of Bea in the next post. Keep writing.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
    Thank you for your extended review. I'm glad you liked it. I don't know if you've read ch.1 & 2 but you would definitely like those.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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Hello Liz,

I just popped in to post an essay on Trump, then checked the inbox (overflowing). I picked out your post and wanted to say "Hey there, friend."

Still don't know when I'll get back to FS "full time"!

Take care, and warm regards,
Aki

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
    Aki thank you for letting me know...good to connect. Take care
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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This is an excellent story told from the cat's point of view...oh I sure hope the teddy bear that likes to be wee can help those kids,
Sometimes you called the cat Scruffy and then
Scruffles
Well penned
God bless...poor kids

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
    Scruffy was his name before he got cleaned up and healthy. So then the name Scruffles fit him better. I almost picture him with a bow tie, so sophisticated. Thank you for your extended review. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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This is a super chapter to your story. I enjoyed reading it as I have the others. Love Scruffles. Poor baby. These lines are so very appropriate and on the money:
"He said he felt so conflicted. He knew he should stay there for them but he couldn't take it anymore and needed to take care of himself. He did miss them already and hoped they would be able to find their way through life. But he had to be out of there."
An important lesson for anyone in a bad situation to learn as quickly as possible.
Marilyn

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are enjoying these installments. The next ch is about all of the trouble Bea gets into with relating to Scruffles. Some of this is quite autobiographical.
Comment from Beck Fenton
Excellent
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I liked reading about poor Scruffy and learning how Bea taught him. I had a couple of questions.
He found himself handing out a lot down there... doesn't make sense to me. What was Scruffy doing.... eating, checking out the leavings?
Scruffy said she hoped she was a comfort to them as they petted him with their dirty sticky hands and hugged and nuzzled his soft hair with their gooey, smudged faces. I got confused and thought you meant Scruffy was a she... Maybe Scruffy said he hoped that he was a comfort.... or Scruffy said he hoped the mom was a comfort?
Otherwise it stays true to your voice and vision.
Keep writing chapters for your book!

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    Wow, thank you, you really helped. When I submitted the book edited a lot. But the problem is I did not correlate with this typing. I think I'll try to use that to correct the next Ch.s He was hanging out under the table to get scraps of pizza. I had the pronoun wrong, he was the comfort, certainly not the mom. I wonder how those kids grew up. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
reply by Beck Fenton on 14-Jul-2018
    Liz, could you please read "Cold as Ice"? It's for a contest and due tomorrow. Thanks!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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She told Scruffles about her DETACHMENT FROM THINGS WHICH HAVE A HOLD ON YOU exercise. He said he would do that exercise and was hoping they would meet again; he thought he could learn a lot from Bea.' This is in equal measures sad, amazingly clever, and a fantastic idea for a story which puts forward the sad truth of many pets and kids who are largely ignored by their drunken and/or drug addicted parents/owners. I this is is fantastic work. It left me feeling slightly sad but it had a positive message and I think it is a marvellous piece of work. A virtual six from me. Well done. Wonderful kindest regards and warmest wishes Meia xx

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    Thank you for the wonderful "vote" of appreciation and accolades for my work. I appreciate. I hope in the overall message people can heal from Bea's way of living. Thank you
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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This is a go story. It is set up and flows well from thought to thought. I would mention there needs to be a correction. "He found himself ... should be 'hanging' around. All the best.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    Thank you for the keen observation. Thank for actually reading it so thoroughly. I appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from cajunjoe
Excellent
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In the background you describe the story as though it is a video. Although you write well, is it really so good that you don't need video screens? Maybe so. You list this as general fiction but shouldn't it be children's fiction? Maybe not, don't know. Have a blessed day

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    This is in the genre of Winnie the Pooh. It for any age. When I've started to read people's chapters I had no idea what had happened so I wanted people to be able to follow better. Thank you for your comprehensive review.
reply by cajunjoe on 12-Jul-2018
    you're welcome
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Excellent
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Circumstances have even Scruffy talking negatively about herself.
Living with someone who drinks to excess is a bad situation.
You know your way around this kind of story.
Typo: 3rd para.: from fun (to) very scary

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    Oh hi Bill...thank you for the catch. I had to correct stuff for the actual book but unfortunately didn't correlate it with my typed copy. So now I am still editing. My friend to;ld me about the one touch system. Not happening here. redo redo. Thank you for your engaging review.
reply by Marvin Calloway on 12-Jul-2018
    I hope i gave you enough.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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This is a good commentary about people using animals. The characters are all likable and you inspire the reader with compassion through them. I think you could make the font a bit larger.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thank you for your informed review. I will see about the font . Thank you