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Viewing comments for Chapter 150 "Gerbil World 6"
Animal poetry and short stories

16 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Bill, Oh I liked this 5-7-5 poem. I've said it before, but you have a way with words that really set off my vivid imagination. In this case it was supported by a great illustration. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Ulla
Comment from Angela Hayes
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Good read, educational, well presented, rats having fun on a treadmill, good creative idea to use rats in a poem, artistic and poetic, creative way of thinking, creative use of words.

Good Luck!

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Angela
reply by Angela Hayes on 13-Jul-2018
    :)
Comment from Teri7
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This is a very cute 5-7-5 poem about the gerbils in a crazy gerbil wheel. You used very good descriptive words that went well with your art work you chose. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Teri
reply by Teri7 on 18-Jul-2018
    you are so welcome!
Comment from Spitfire
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I love Escher's works. This one is a little different from his norm. Nice use of boldfaced letters. Is there a TV show called Infinity Run? It does fit the gerbil's treadmill.
Great paradox in line two. Effective ending with the alliteration of T sound.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Shari. No show called infinity run that I know of.
Comment from damommy
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It certainly is a twilight zone treadmill. Poor little guys will never figure out how to get off unless they just drop.

What an imagination. Good photo for this piece.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thanks, da
Comment from Gloria ....
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Ha, now that is funny, Bill. Gerbils disoriented on a mobius strip. I think that might be fun and it is sure to drive the gerbils and humans watching crazy. Yes, very Escherish.

I'm much enjoying Gerbil land adventures.

Gloria

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thank you, Gloria.
Comment from lyenochka
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Lol! Love the idea. And it would be like those spooky shows like Outer Limits and the Twilight Zone if Escher designed the treadmill for the poor gerbils. I'm guessing this is an ekphrastic poem as the picture came first?

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thanks, lyenochka, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from BeasPeas
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Poor little gerbils. MC Escher's art is certainly intriguing, but I wouldn't want to get lost in it. There's no way out. Your poem is both fun and nightmarish for the gerbils. Marilyn

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Marilyn
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
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lol, Very cute, Bill. "infinity run" lol Nice humor in this 5-7-5.
I always enjoy your animal writes:))) ~Kerry

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Thanks, Kerry
reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 15-Jul-2018
    Welcome:))
Comment from judiverse
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It would be nice if they thought of some more activities for gerbils. Maybe they'd like an agility course. The artwork makes it look like they're on a roller coaster. Twilight Zone treadmill is a great description. Nice alliteration, too. Correct syllable form, but since it's not for a contest who's counting. judi

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018
    Someone out there is counting.
reply by judiverse on 11-Jul-2018
    No doubt. There are always busy-bodies who will make it their business to count. judi