When I Was Ten
entry for the Fabulous Freeversers Club32 total reviews
Comment from donette1914
wow so heart felt and emotional and this is outstanding.
Thank you for sharing and this is truly is a well penned. it was a honor to read your work donette1914 july 17 2018
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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wow so heart felt and emotional and this is outstanding.
Thank you for sharing and this is truly is a well penned. it was a honor to read your work donette1914 july 17 2018
Comment Written 17-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the raves. They are encouraging and appreciated.
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Comment from friartuck
Yes they did work! I had flashbacks to when I was ten! But we always lived in the country, and I never felt unsafe or threatened in any way. At any rate, a fine poem! Good luck with it in the competition!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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Yes they did work! I had flashbacks to when I was ten! But we always lived in the country, and I never felt unsafe or threatened in any way. At any rate, a fine poem! Good luck with it in the competition!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
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Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Joan. This is a very nicely written poem of the nostalgia experienced in a different time and place when parents stayed together, kids were protected, and life was more structured and at a slower pace. But kids are resilient and so are we. We adapt to what is, while at the same time remembering what was. Marilyn
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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Hi Joan. This is a very nicely written poem of the nostalgia experienced in a different time and place when parents stayed together, kids were protected, and life was more structured and at a slower pace. But kids are resilient and so are we. We adapt to what is, while at the same time remembering what was. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the review, insightful comments and all the stars.
Joan
Comment from Lady Jane
Yes, I caught the word play that was running afoot. Wouldn't we all love to live as we did back when life was simpler? Well penned poem here. Nothing I see that would require a revise or edit. Well done.
Janelle
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Yes, I caught the word play that was running afoot. Wouldn't we all love to live as we did back when life was simpler? Well penned poem here. Nothing I see that would require a revise or edit. Well done.
Janelle
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thank you, Janelle for taking the time to read and review this poem. I'm glad you liked it.
Joan
Comment from meeshu
I love the line "Hide from Seekers" there are so many places to go metaphorically. you've done a wonderful job conjuring images from the past with this piece. nicely penned, Dragon...........meeshu
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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I love the line "Hide from Seekers" there are so many places to go metaphorically. you've done a wonderful job conjuring images from the past with this piece. nicely penned, Dragon...........meeshu
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the encouraging words and all the stars, Meeshu.
Joan
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello .... this is great, I absolutely love the way you play with words in this poem, and your use of the children's games to show how your life has changed since you were ten. So well written, and nothing to fix, the ending is very strong and wraps up the poem perfectly, bringing all the strands together.
I think this is a six-star work and thank you so much for sharing your talent, cheers, Ana. I'd take a bow for this poem, you deserve it. :)
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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Hello .... this is great, I absolutely love the way you play with words in this poem, and your use of the children's games to show how your life has changed since you were ten. So well written, and nothing to fix, the ending is very strong and wraps up the poem perfectly, bringing all the strands together.
I think this is a six-star work and thank you so much for sharing your talent, cheers, Ana. I'd take a bow for this poem, you deserve it. :)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
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I am honored my your strongly positive review and for the six star rating.
Joan
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Joan. I was dealing with a schizoid mother at ten. It was not a happy time for me. We were isolated from other kids but I have eight brothers and sisters. The oldest six and the younger three were in separate worlds. The youngest three were taken care of by older siblings. What that meant is that my mother did not abuse them. When they misbehaved their older caretaker got abused even when nothing could have been done to prevent it. Never played Red Rover. Nice post. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Hi Joan. I was dealing with a schizoid mother at ten. It was not a happy time for me. We were isolated from other kids but I have eight brothers and sisters. The oldest six and the younger three were in separate worlds. The youngest three were taken care of by older siblings. What that meant is that my mother did not abuse them. When they misbehaved their older caretaker got abused even when nothing could have been done to prevent it. Never played Red Rover. Nice post. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 14-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the kind review. I am glad you made it through that bad period in your childhood. I hope you siblings are doing ok.
Joan
Comment from Gloria ....
Actually the childhood games worked very well, Joan. This is a vivid work that clearly expresses feelings of anxiety in a young child.
Your poetic ambiguity is more effective and this is a terrific addition to the free verse club.
Gloria
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Actually the childhood games worked very well, Joan. This is a vivid work that clearly expresses feelings of anxiety in a young child.
Your poetic ambiguity is more effective and this is a terrific addition to the free verse club.
Gloria
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Thanks for such positive comments. They mean a lot from such a fine poet.
Joan
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks the attitude and mode of living innocent but challenging all childhood days when the poet was only ten he used to play games of hide and seek and more; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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This speaks the attitude and mode of living innocent but challenging all childhood days when the poet was only ten he used to play games of hide and seek and more; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
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Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have created great metaphors. The great thing about this poem is it is universal. We've all been 10. We've all wished we could go back there. At least most of us can find some sentimental moments, even of many seemed intolerable. The reader is drawn in to remember back to when they were 10 or to an age at which they felt free and indomitable, breaking through the walls of arms. The juxtaposition you create is very strong and the imagery compelling to the heart. Well written.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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You have created great metaphors. The great thing about this poem is it is universal. We've all been 10. We've all wished we could go back there. At least most of us can find some sentimental moments, even of many seemed intolerable. The reader is drawn in to remember back to when they were 10 or to an age at which they felt free and indomitable, breaking through the walls of arms. The juxtaposition you create is very strong and the imagery compelling to the heart. Well written.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the thorough review and high rating
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