Nice new hat.
How selfish of her to jilt him after I've bought my hat19 total reviews
Comment from Air Spirit
This is a clever, concise, and cryptic poem --- albeit a sad story, (if it's true), and is a stark statement of fact if it's a true story! your words are tightly woven together, and consistently push your theme (surrounding your newly purchased hat) forward... only to come to a screeching (apropos) halt! PARTICULARLY if it is true! I enjoyed this very much!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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This is a clever, concise, and cryptic poem --- albeit a sad story, (if it's true), and is a stark statement of fact if it's a true story! your words are tightly woven together, and consistently push your theme (surrounding your newly purchased hat) forward... only to come to a screeching (apropos) halt! PARTICULARLY if it is true! I enjoyed this very much!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Many thanks for your comments
Comment from Hugh McDowell
I like this poem. Short but still contains a complete story. Reminds me of Hemingway's; for sale baby shoes never worn. Love the self absorption of the lady who bought the hat. Great picture. Hugh
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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I like this poem. Short but still contains a complete story. Reminds me of Hemingway's; for sale baby shoes never worn. Love the self absorption of the lady who bought the hat. Great picture. Hugh
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018
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Thanks for the great review
Comment from phill doran
Hello to you Anon
This is very sharp. It is hard, I am sure, to work in such a small format and to use 6 words (in your example) to effectively tell a story is a real achievement.
The form is correct for the contest, in which I wish you well.
It might be possible to add some light punctuation to the words to replicate your particular emphasis or stress - is that a consideration? Just a thought. I know punctuation is optional in these pieces, but when poetry is written (as opposed to spoken), the punctuation has a contribution to make and is part of the finished piece - well, at least I see it that way.
Again, I wish you well with this and with your future writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Hello to you Anon
This is very sharp. It is hard, I am sure, to work in such a small format and to use 6 words (in your example) to effectively tell a story is a real achievement.
The form is correct for the contest, in which I wish you well.
It might be possible to add some light punctuation to the words to replicate your particular emphasis or stress - is that a consideration? Just a thought. I know punctuation is optional in these pieces, but when poetry is written (as opposed to spoken), the punctuation has a contribution to make and is part of the finished piece - well, at least I see it that way.
Again, I wish you well with this and with your future writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Many thanks Phill.
Comment from meeshu
quick, short to the point and sad. all the necessary ingredients for a 2-4-2 poem. well executed, I wish you the best in the contest, Jen...........meeshu
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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quick, short to the point and sad. all the necessary ingredients for a 2-4-2 poem. well executed, I wish you the best in the contest, Jen...........meeshu
Comment Written 09-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Many thanks Meeshu, much appreciated.
Comment from hifein
loved the graphic. the sentiment is sad. perhaps a new beau will appear and the hat will be used. then again she did the jilting. i wish him well :-)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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loved the graphic. the sentiment is sad. perhaps a new beau will appear and the hat will be used. then again she did the jilting. i wish him well :-)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Thanks for your great review.
Comment from Robbie Yates
Ha! This one is great. I love the story it tells - the sadness behind the wedding cancellation, and the frustration behind not being able to wear the new hat! Brilliant.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Ha! This one is great. I love the story it tells - the sadness behind the wedding cancellation, and the frustration behind not being able to wear the new hat! Brilliant.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Thank you Robbie, my friend.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 2-4-2 writing prompt.
Your story is clear in your short verse.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 2-4-2 writing prompt.
Your story is clear in your short verse.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Many thanks
Comment from BeasPeas
Oh, a tearjerker poem about a broken romance. Image is nice. Better not to have wed if it wouldn't have worked out. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Oh, a tearjerker poem about a broken romance. Image is nice. Better not to have wed if it wouldn't have worked out. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Many thanks
Comment from RFL
Aha! Reminds me of Hemingway's rise to the challenge of writing a story in less than ten words: "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn." Did this inspire your poem? Your words do tell a sad story as did Hemingway's. Best, RFL
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Aha! Reminds me of Hemingway's rise to the challenge of writing a story in less than ten words: "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn." Did this inspire your poem? Your words do tell a sad story as did Hemingway's. Best, RFL
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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I didn't mean it to be sad I meant it to be a selfish statement as my description said but no-one seemed to get it. Oh well. Thanks for re viewing.
I wasn't inspired by Hemingway's words. I had forgotton that.
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Whoops! I just reread your description, and see what you mean. Guess Hemingway got in the way.
So sorry. RFL
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Good job, Mystery Author, with your short poem as required by the contest rules. Your picture is beautiful with a hint of sadness that is echoed in your well-chosen words that have the correct syllables. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Good job, Mystery Author, with your short poem as required by the contest rules. Your picture is beautiful with a hint of sadness that is echoed in your well-chosen words that have the correct syllables. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Many thanks Jan.
