Granny's Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Indisputable Facts"Losing everything Granny is out for revenge.
8 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
that Granny s a devious old witch, all right... lol
The evidence is staking up against the killers - should that be stacking in the description line?
Watch your sentence repetition in that first paragraph. five sentences start with Granny.
Granny glances towards the area again and then towards Jackie - you could say at Jackie rather than repeat the towards. (in this paragraph you also have G brushing and wiping away a tear) [also four uses of glance or its variant]
"Her sisters DNA would be the same, right?"- sister's. Also, this is factually incorrect. Not all twins have the same DNA - In one case, twins can be produced when two eggs are present at the same time inside the mother, and both of these eggs get fertilized. Each of them eventually grows into a separate baby. Because each egg and each sperm started with different DNA, the babies that grow from each have different DNA. - UCSB Science Line.
Rachel glances at her screen. "There's one problem with that idea. - need closing speech marks here.
Realizing she's about to bolt, Granny slams on her breaks - brakes.
A little further down, Granny pulls - generally speaking it would be farther for physical distance.
Your time is coming, you Sharon and Jerry's." - need opening speech marks here.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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that Granny s a devious old witch, all right... lol
The evidence is staking up against the killers - should that be stacking in the description line?
Watch your sentence repetition in that first paragraph. five sentences start with Granny.
Granny glances towards the area again and then towards Jackie - you could say at Jackie rather than repeat the towards. (in this paragraph you also have G brushing and wiping away a tear) [also four uses of glance or its variant]
"Her sisters DNA would be the same, right?"- sister's. Also, this is factually incorrect. Not all twins have the same DNA - In one case, twins can be produced when two eggs are present at the same time inside the mother, and both of these eggs get fertilized. Each of them eventually grows into a separate baby. Because each egg and each sperm started with different DNA, the babies that grow from each have different DNA. - UCSB Science Line.
Rachel glances at her screen. "There's one problem with that idea. - need closing speech marks here.
Realizing she's about to bolt, Granny slams on her breaks - brakes.
A little further down, Granny pulls - generally speaking it would be farther for physical distance.
Your time is coming, you Sharon and Jerry's." - need opening speech marks here.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind, helpful review. I knew their fingerprints are different but thought all twin's DNA was the same, so thank you for sharing that little tidbit with me.
Thank you again for all your help and support it's always greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from royowen
Joe and Rachel are an item now, and it looks like they'll perhaps get married. Meanwhile Jackie and Granny make a project of killing Jackie's father, and they have to skedaddle when the police start to turn up, leaving a beaten bloodied man. So off they go. Granny has sneakily thought that it's a great opportunity to frame Jackie, well done my friend, blessjngs, Roy
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Joe and Rachel are an item now, and it looks like they'll perhaps get married. Meanwhile Jackie and Granny make a project of killing Jackie's father, and they have to skedaddle when the police start to turn up, leaving a beaten bloodied man. So off they go. Granny has sneakily thought that it's a great opportunity to frame Jackie, well done my friend, blessjngs, Roy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. The cops will continue to get closer as the two continue their killing spree.
Thank you again for your kind review and all your support, take care.
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Welcome my friend
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh no, Granny is going to frame Jackie? Poor Jackie. I can't really blame them for wanting to rid the world of these people, but I'm afraid it is still wrong. Looking forward to the next exciting chapter. =} Rox
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Oh no, Granny is going to frame Jackie? Poor Jackie. I can't really blame them for wanting to rid the world of these people, but I'm afraid it is still wrong. Looking forward to the next exciting chapter. =} Rox
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful review, I'm glad you continue to enjoy the story. You're right it is wrong, despite being for the greater good.
Thank you again for your great review, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Jackie spit in her victim's face, leaving DNA evidence. That will make it easier for Granny to frame her for the murders. Granny has my blessing for killing rapists etc., but not for framing Jackie. THAT is not nice!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Jackie spit in her victim's face, leaving DNA evidence. That will make it easier for Granny to frame her for the murders. Granny has my blessing for killing rapists etc., but not for framing Jackie. THAT is not nice!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review. Your comment at the end made me chuckle. Who knows Granny may change her mind. Afterall, she is taking a big chance with her plan of her framing Matilda being destroyed if Jackie sees Matilda up close.
Thank you again for all your support, it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Misty
I see something I didn't know unless I missed that also Jackie was a partner helping kill drunk men to get revenge for the death of Jackie's dad and raping.
Smiles nice to know that Rachel and Joe are going to tie the knot
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Hello Misty
I see something I didn't know unless I missed that also Jackie was a partner helping kill drunk men to get revenge for the death of Jackie's dad and raping.
Smiles nice to know that Rachel and Joe are going to tie the knot
Gert
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your great review, and for all your support. I didn't write a lot about their conspiracy, a couple of sentences total in chapter 11 and 13, so you could've very easily overlooked it.
Thank you again for all your support, your friendship it means a great deal to me, take care.
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You are welcome Misty
Gert
Comment from Ulla
Hi Misty, another great chapter and I dare say they both continue on their revenge campaign. I have a few things for your consideration.
"Our next target is one I think you can relate too. = ... relate to.
"I perfect spot for a murder don't you think?" ="A perfect spot ...?"
Joe sneers as his passenger. Rachel chuckles. = Joe sneers as his passenger, Rachel, chuckles.
I love the story and I'm looking forward to what's next. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Hi Misty, another great chapter and I dare say they both continue on their revenge campaign. I have a few things for your consideration.
"Our next target is one I think you can relate too. = ... relate to.
"I perfect spot for a murder don't you think?" ="A perfect spot ...?"
Joe sneers as his passenger. Rachel chuckles. = Joe sneers as his passenger, Rachel, chuckles.
I love the story and I'm looking forward to what's next. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you for another great review I'm glad you continue to enjoy the story. And thank you for catching those mistakes. It seems no matter how many times I look it over I always manage to miss something, grrr, lol
Thank you again for your help and support, take care.
Comment from Zue65
To be a victim of abuse sometimes can lead people to take matters in their own hands for revenge. But after a taste of blood and the euphoria of making even, the mind gets muddled and one becomes a crazed murderer overnight. That I guess is the destiny of Granny and Jackie. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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To be a victim of abuse sometimes can lead people to take matters in their own hands for revenge. But after a taste of blood and the euphoria of making even, the mind gets muddled and one becomes a crazed murderer overnight. That I guess is the destiny of Granny and Jackie. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful review. That's exactly what happened to the ladies. Trying to right a wrong, they got caught up in the excitement of it all, leaving everyone vulnerable to their vicious attacks.
Thank you again for your kind review, take care
Comment from Artasylum
Hey Mistydawn,
I'm so happy that your voice, your dream haw once again awakened. The voice in your story is pristine and what a treat... your character development is great. So all in all Great.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Hey Mistydawn,
I'm so happy that your voice, your dream haw once again awakened. The voice in your story is pristine and what a treat... your character development is great. So all in all Great.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much for such a wonderful review and all your encouraging praise. Sitting at the side of the road I realized how lucky I was to be alive. I then concluded that no one is promised tomorrow and that I should work on my dreams while I still have a chance.
Thank you again for your great review, it means a lot to me, take care.
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Say Amen sister! Yours, diana
