Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

This is an excellent continuation. You have introduced new characters and another plot and yet have remained consistent with the era and culture even using appropriate terms. I love the name you have come up with, "Forgotten Springs." I could almost hear a discordant organ chord at that point in this fantastic fanstory soap opera. And the ending really challenges the next chapter writer. Well done.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2019

It has been nearly a year since I have been on the site. How delightful to find an unexpected review waiting. Thank you for the well written review with specifics on what you thought went well. I appreciate it. I'll be stopping by in a few days to check out your work.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Your writing is clear and well described with good detail throughout. Dialogue between characters flows well. Much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018

Thank you, Marilyn. I'm not sure this contest will ever get to a vote. We had four entries, but one has left the site so we are down to three. We need at least two more people to write a chapter to get it to the five required for a vote. Thanks for the encouraging comments about the writing. It is much appreciated.
Debi

reply by BeasPeas on 07-Jul-2018

Oh what an interesting concept. Each writer contributes a chapter. Good luck with getting the extra people. I've been in contests that lasted a long time. Judging kept being postponed. Marilyn

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I'm not into fantasy fiction, but admire the attempt to link six chapters by different authors. That explains all the names which confused me. Still, this is a fine addition that gives the next writer a lot to work with.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2018

Thank you, Shari. I saw this poor contest has been out there since April and decided to add my bit. I appreciate you reading it.

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Nice work on this part. It's been so long since I wrote the first part, I'd forgotten about Stephan. I'm glad you incorporated him.

but he had a voice wtih a penetrating --with

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018

Hi Russell,
I read your chapter through several times and one thing that caught my interest was Amira's comment about how Stephan had looked at her with pity. It made me wonder why. Did he do something? It was great foreshadowing and opened up all sorts of possibilities as to his role.

Thanks for the kind comments. I appreciate you catching the nit as well. I'll get that corrected.
Debir

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

WJ,

I just love what you've done here and what you've added to the story! My problem is that the contest will end and that will be it. I really am enjoying this story-line and think we're doing a pretty good job of putting this thing together! (In all humility!) haha

I think we should consider continuing it afterwards? I'd love to know everyone's opinions....

Thanks - great job. Good luck to you!!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2018

Hi Robyn,
Thank you for the kind comments. I know I really thought the story was going well. I was off the site for a while and missed the contest when it started. (Lost my job in March and job hunting was top priority. Start a new job tomorrow. Yay!)At this point I think I am more interested in how the story ends or if it ever will. We need at least two more chapters for voting and I wonder if we will get two more authors interested. I wonder if we could just make it a multi author book and those of us that are interested could keep it going.
Debi

reply by robyn corum on 01-Jul-2018

That's what I'm thinking.
I think they will eventually have to let it go to voting anyway. It's already been postponed for lack of entries several times. It will be interesting to see what happens. Good luck!

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018

Best of luck to you as well. I've read you chapter several times so I could make sure I kept the continuity. It' a great chapter. I'll have to an official review soon.

reply by robyn corum on 02-Jul-2018

Oh that's okay -- that was good enough for me right there, and you won't get paid at this point. Don't worry about it! haha! Thanks!

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing another chapter in this multi-author book. You have kept up the continuing story with the characters and medieval feel in language and time.

Poor Amira, she is tasked with saving the people, but she has little idea of how she's supposed to do it, but I'm sure she will find a way.

Good storytelling,

~patty~

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018

Hi Patty,
Thank you so much for the kind comments and encouragement. I hope some others join us and help Amira find her purpose. LOL.
Debi

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi there, it's very well written and I must say it did catch my attention. I'm not really into fantasy writing, but your story and writing really drew me in. Good luck in the contest.All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018

Hi Ulla,
Thank you so much for the kind comments and good luck wishes. Both are appreciated.
Debi

Comment from ciliverde

Exceptional

I sure wish you posted more often, I really enjoy your work as it is not only fantasy fiction, but it feels believable. The characters are interesting and I'm drawn into the story quickly, and I think I saw a previous chapter of this and remember having the same feeling after reading...more! Great job,

Carol

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018

Hi Carol,
Well if that isn't one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
The last few months have been stressful and I have found it hard to concentrate on writing because I knew in November that the company was downsizing and every month I had to let people go. My turn came in March. But today I started a new job so maybe I can get back to writing regularly.
Thank you so much for the encouragement and kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me.
Debi

reply by ciliverde on 03-Jul-2018

Your recent history sounds really awful, and painful. I hope your new job turns out to be better than the last one! And I do hope you're able to write more; I meant every word about your writing. It's not easy to make utter fantasy feel so real! Hug your horses for me and have a happy fourth! :))

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Debi. You have done a marvelous job with this. Your imagination is on full display in the scenes you illustrate with words.

GHreat imagews throughouts.

Suggestion, if I may:
" I know I coveted my free time at her age." (Perhaps this for better emphasis: " I know I too, coveted my free time at her age."

You have come a long way with your writing, debi. Bravo! Bob

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018

Thank you for the encouraging comments, Bob. Thanks too for the suggestion to make the sentence and meaning stronger. I will get to it.
Debi

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Hello, W.J.Debi,

This is really good. It's engaging and interesting. I hope you continue with it. Good luck in the contest.

I found some concerns:
"Is there a problem, my lord? (I think the thought and then the speech could go on separate lines.)" "Lusttra smirked (no quote around the tag).

Take care,
Nome

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018

Hi Nome,
I hope someone will take up the next chapter. At least two more writers are needed for the contest to get to the voting stage. This contest was open in April and is still going.
Thanks for the suggestions. I'll make the corrections.
Debi

reply by Rasmine on 06-Jul-2018

Hello,
I think I left you a message on FaceBook. I won't be returning here; it's time to go for me.
Take care,
Nome