Diving Into Alligators
10 years old and free58 total reviews
Comment from Hugh McDowell
I really liked this. The freedom and exuberance of youth shine through. Great pace and flow and I thought the rhyming was excellent. I also the sequencing of events excellent. Reads well both silently and out loud. Another excellent job! Hugh
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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I really liked this. The freedom and exuberance of youth shine through. Great pace and flow and I thought the rhyming was excellent. I also the sequencing of events excellent. Reads well both silently and out loud. Another excellent job! Hugh
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Hey Hugh...
Comment from jenintorre
Wow. You were a very brave kid. Funny how you have no fear as a child but as you get older you are scared of everything. (Well that's me anyway). Great little poem and photo. Cheers Jen.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Wow. You were a very brave kid. Funny how you have no fear as a child but as you get older you are scared of everything. (Well that's me anyway). Great little poem and photo. Cheers Jen.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Hey jenintorre,
Comment from Y. M. Roger
How fun! And what memories it brings back as a little girl swimming in the lakes near our house -- there was always just that little niggling that something was in the water you just couldn't see... :) :) :)
A suggestion (and you can completely ignore it!) would be to switch around your line of "And trouble I never did see" to read 'And trouble never did I see'. It just seems to keep your upbeat rhythm flowing a little smoother at that point....but, like I said, feel free to ignore! You are certainly a wonderful poet!
Thanx so much for the memories and the smiles this morning!!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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How fun! And what memories it brings back as a little girl swimming in the lakes near our house -- there was always just that little niggling that something was in the water you just couldn't see... :) :) :)
A suggestion (and you can completely ignore it!) would be to switch around your line of "And trouble I never did see" to read 'And trouble never did I see'. It just seems to keep your upbeat rhythm flowing a little smoother at that point....but, like I said, feel free to ignore! You are certainly a wonderful poet!
Thanx so much for the memories and the smiles this morning!!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Hey Y.M. Thanks for your wonderful review of Diving into alligators... It is so fun and I appreciate your thoughts very much. Yours, Diana
Comment from Pamusart
Nice ending Diana. Tick Tock. What is a tick without a tock? Does the tick have any meaning by itself ? Very nicely written. I just have one not.
"When I was ten and mermaid bound
I'd swim in a lake with gators 'roun "
Why not 'round instead of 'roun ? It is an exact rhyme.
Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
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Nice ending Diana. Tick Tock. What is a tick without a tock? Does the tick have any meaning by itself ? Very nicely written. I just have one not.
"When I was ten and mermaid bound
I'd swim in a lake with gators 'roun "
Why not 'round instead of 'roun ? It is an exact rhyme.
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 30-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
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Hey Pam I never want to make it to tock. yours, diana
Comment from Joan E.
Is that really your photograph? I bet you actually were fearless at age ten! I enjoyed what appeared to be a walk back in time--either that or you took on a very strong persona. And I liked your rhymed couplets and the idea of being "mermaid bound". Big smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Is that really your photograph? I bet you actually were fearless at age ten! I enjoyed what appeared to be a walk back in time--either that or you took on a very strong persona. And I liked your rhymed couplets and the idea of being "mermaid bound". Big smiles- Joan
Comment Written 30-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Fearless I was... give me that ten year old sensibilities were stick in tack. yours, diana
Comment from judiverse
Swimming with the Alligators. That would be almost as bad as swimming with the fishes. Excellent rhyme. Light-hearted tone in this, and it displays the brave, dare-all attitude of a child ready to explore the world. A close encounter with an alligator would have been enough to scare even a brave girl. Very enjoyable, and great insight into the adventurous child. judi
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Swimming with the Alligators. That would be almost as bad as swimming with the fishes. Excellent rhyme. Light-hearted tone in this, and it displays the brave, dare-all attitude of a child ready to explore the world. A close encounter with an alligator would have been enough to scare even a brave girl. Very enjoyable, and great insight into the adventurous child. judi
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Good analogy kiddo... you made me laugh... thanks so much for your thoughtful and helpful review. It is very appreciated. yours, diana
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You're very welcome. I enjoy something pleasant to read. judi
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Diana, you were a darling little girl, quite the adventurer. Is that you in the photo? LOL. I loved your poem, it was a lot of fun and nicely published.
This is my favorite verse:
I taunted and teased and definitely knew
The kind of mischief I always drew
Naive and full of life
My blank brain attracted strife
Thanks for sharing your writing and have a great day, Ana.
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Hello Diana, you were a darling little girl, quite the adventurer. Is that you in the photo? LOL. I loved your poem, it was a lot of fun and nicely published.
This is my favorite verse:
I taunted and teased and definitely knew
The kind of mischief I always drew
Naive and full of life
My blank brain attracted strife
Thanks for sharing your writing and have a great day, Ana.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Yes that was me with my favorite swimming hole... thanks Ana always look forward to your replies.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Drove off the dock? I should think your heart was in your mouth? He he he, joking aside, living in an untroubled fantasy world as a child helps children to live in innocence for a while, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Drove off the dock? I should think your heart was in your mouth? He he he, joking aside, living in an untroubled fantasy world as a child helps children to live in innocence for a while, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Naw... Although I have to admit i did many belly flops during my diving career... thanks Dollyxo
