Granny's Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Justice for All."Losing everything Granny is out for revenge.
9 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
You've written a gripping story of how far a woman will go to get her pound of flesh. Too bad she was interrupted. Maybe she will get her revenge in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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You've written a gripping story of how far a woman will go to get her pound of flesh. Too bad she was interrupted. Maybe she will get her revenge in the next chapter.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. It's quite an honor coming from you. Granny will get her revenge on plenty before it's all over.
Thank you again for your fantastic review, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, it certainly looks as if Granny has been finally caught out. I love the story, but as anybody else I'll have to wait a see how this is going to pan out. Very good writing. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Hi there, it certainly looks as if Granny has been finally caught out. I love the story, but as anybody else I'll have to wait a see how this is going to pan out. Very good writing. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review and all your support. Granny caught, I can't do that to my favorite villain now, can I?.
Thank you again for all your support, it means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Misty
You are to me jumping from one scene to another
was well done ( I say it's a good way for the Reader wonder of what is coming next;
It's like watching a soap opera of how the senses
change to another character to see what they are thinking or doing, is exactly what you did
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Hello Misty
You are to me jumping from one scene to another
was well done ( I say it's a good way for the Reader wonder of what is coming next;
It's like watching a soap opera of how the senses
change to another character to see what they are thinking or doing, is exactly what you did
Gert
Comment Written 29-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your fantastic six-star, and your wonderful praise it means so much to me. I try hard to keep everyone guessing what will happen next. Maybe the soaps had more influence on me than I thought, lol.
Thank you again for all your help, support, and friendship, take care.
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You are so welcome Misty
Will be waiting for next chapter
Gert
Comment from giraffmang
hi there,
Another good continuation of the story here. nicely balanced between the detectives and Granny.
nice clothes, opportunities that I can't afford. - need closing speech marks here.
I was a young, dumb teenager madly in love - you need opening speech marks here.
your life a whole lot easier, child a whole lot - insert another comma after child.
They see the cafe is packed when they step through the door.- this is very matter of factly stated, just as when Joe notices his detectives. You could give it a bit more movement and make it more organic with something like - They made their through the packed café.
"Sir, my name is Jerry; I'm with the Berryville PD - would he not identify himself as detective or officer or suchlike? (he may as well be the janitor)
When Jeff interviews a waitress, he should probably have asked for her name.
was driving home from my pharmacy when noticed a big puddle - when I noticed?
All the best
G
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018
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hi there,
Another good continuation of the story here. nicely balanced between the detectives and Granny.
nice clothes, opportunities that I can't afford. - need closing speech marks here.
I was a young, dumb teenager madly in love - you need opening speech marks here.
your life a whole lot easier, child a whole lot - insert another comma after child.
They see the cafe is packed when they step through the door.- this is very matter of factly stated, just as when Joe notices his detectives. You could give it a bit more movement and make it more organic with something like - They made their through the packed café.
"Sir, my name is Jerry; I'm with the Berryville PD - would he not identify himself as detective or officer or suchlike? (he may as well be the janitor)
When Jeff interviews a waitress, he should probably have asked for her name.
was driving home from my pharmacy when noticed a big puddle - when I noticed?
All the best
G
Comment Written 29-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your helpful review and all your support it's always greatly appreciated. I'm about to wrap up this story hope you stick around to the end.
Thank you again for all your help and support, take care.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh no! Has Granny been caught at last? I'm sure the old sly thing will think of something to say to get out of it. Fun read again, I did notice one thing. At the first split below the *** You call the policemen 'Jerry' & 'Jeff', 9 line down from that first par you call Jeff, 'Kirk'. I didn't know if it was an error of if it is his last name maybe? Anyway over all well done. Rox
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018
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Oh no! Has Granny been caught at last? I'm sure the old sly thing will think of something to say to get out of it. Fun read again, I did notice one thing. At the first split below the *** You call the policemen 'Jerry' & 'Jeff', 9 line down from that first par you call Jeff, 'Kirk'. I didn't know if it was an error of if it is his last name maybe? Anyway over all well done. Rox
Comment Written 29-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review all your help and support it's always greatly appreciated. You're right that was a mistake, thanks for catching that.
Thank you again for all your help and support, take care.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Mistydawn, you write very well. Good descriptions and dialogue and you've developed Granny into a strong character that is easy to visualize. I love the picture, she looks so feisty. LOL
I have no suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Hello Mistydawn, you write very well. Good descriptions and dialogue and you've developed Granny into a strong character that is easy to visualize. I love the picture, she looks so feisty. LOL
I have no suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review and encouraging words. IIt means so much to me. Granny is very feisty in my mind, a real firecracker who tells it like it is, lol. Take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Granny, the killer, lives in assisted living after losing her family, being injured by a drunk driver.
Matilda lives in assisted living. She just lost her grandson to a drunk driver.
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Aren't those two backwards? Granny lost her grandson, not Matilda.
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Who was there behind Granny to make her drop her cane?
I hope she kills Nancy's husband! :)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Granny, the killer, lives in assisted living after losing her family, being injured by a drunk driver.
Matilda lives in assisted living. She just lost her grandson to a drunk driver.
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Aren't those two backwards? Granny lost her grandson, not Matilda.
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Who was there behind Granny to make her drop her cane?
I hope she kills Nancy's husband! :)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review. Granny lost all of her family. Matilda recently lost her grandson. The first line from chapter 1 "Why Lord, why did you have to take him too?" Matilda sobs. She glances toward her Grandson's casket. I'll go back check the rest make sure I didn't confuse them in the story.
Thank you again for your kind review and all your support, take care.
Comment from fm wright
I know it would be more helpful if I had read the previous chapters for I found in this one too much jumping from scene to scene without explanation and characters that I had know idea of who they were till I got to the listing at the end.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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I know it would be more helpful if I had read the previous chapters for I found in this one too much jumping from scene to scene without explanation and characters that I had know idea of who they were till I got to the listing at the end.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your review, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it. It is difficult to understand what's going on, coming in at the very end. Hopefully, you'll give my work another try with a post that's closer to the beginning.
Thank you again for your time, take care.
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Didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it. It's just at this particular chapter, having not read the previous ones it was hard to follow. I did like the story and do hope to read more of your work.
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I feel much better now, thank you.
Comment from royowen
I think we all know what granny will probably do to poor Barry so that she helps out poor Nancy, who's prepared to give up custody of her children. And meanwhile the boys are sweltering hot, trying to solve the case, and gather more information about Matilda, Grannis is caught with her cane, skulking, she drops it. Heh heh, well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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I think we all know what granny will probably do to poor Barry so that she helps out poor Nancy, who's prepared to give up custody of her children. And meanwhile the boys are sweltering hot, trying to solve the case, and gather more information about Matilda, Grannis is caught with her cane, skulking, she drops it. Heh heh, well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 28-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018
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Thank you again for your wonderful review, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Ol Granny almost gets caught again. She better stop being so careless or she'll end up with Matilda.
Thank you again for all your support, your friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
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Yes she will, poor old Matilda,
