It's Our Cake Not Yours
A protest against imminent domain16 total reviews
Comment from Jay J Pennington
How true, that others too often covet what is not theirs, as if they deserve it themselves, despite that they did not work for it. Well said. Well done.
Jay
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
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How true, that others too often covet what is not theirs, as if they deserve it themselves, despite that they did not work for it. Well said. Well done.
Jay
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much for reading this poem. Sadly the owners lost.
Comment from Boogienights
It's too bad when government steps in and takes what is not theirs. Whether its city, state, or local government, I don' t think they understand how hard it is to succeed only to have it taken away.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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It's too bad when government steps in and takes what is not theirs. Whether its city, state, or local government, I don' t think they understand how hard it is to succeed only to have it taken away.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments and stars.
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Thank you very much for your comments and stars.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is an excellent poem. It's a great entry in the Sonnet poetry contest. You should do very well. Maybe even win. I never do, but I still like to enter.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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This is an excellent poem. It's a great entry in the Sonnet poetry contest. You should do very well. Maybe even win. I never do, but I still like to enter.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments and wonderful stars. Submit something, anything, just make sure your skin is thick and you have an open mind. Some expert reviewer says, "Do it this way." And, lo and behold, the next expert reviewer will say exactly the opposite. How many times have you been told, "No?" It hurts a little, especially when it's your baby.
Comment from Blue Hendrix
Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your deep reading, comments and stars.
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You're welcome
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You're welcome
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Thanks.
Comment from Air Spirit
A poem written in a lovely sonnet but written about a very controversial subject: Emminent Domain. To the small, hardworking family that owns and operates a small business, and for government to just come in and strip the owners of their rights, is inherently unfair. I know that sometimes, out of dire need (i.e., drain pipes needed to prevent flooding) it is necessary -- but the owners should be given greater recompense if their land is literally stolen from under their feet and there should be limitations (i.e., I believe that the land should be used by government and only in the sense of public health or safety), but NOT sold off to third parties for their profit or use, unless the owners willingly agree without force or retribution of any kind... but I love the ending of your poem, which basically asserts that in many cases, simply a case of 'sharing' would be a win/win solution...
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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A poem written in a lovely sonnet but written about a very controversial subject: Emminent Domain. To the small, hardworking family that owns and operates a small business, and for government to just come in and strip the owners of their rights, is inherently unfair. I know that sometimes, out of dire need (i.e., drain pipes needed to prevent flooding) it is necessary -- but the owners should be given greater recompense if their land is literally stolen from under their feet and there should be limitations (i.e., I believe that the land should be used by government and only in the sense of public health or safety), but NOT sold off to third parties for their profit or use, unless the owners willingly agree without force or retribution of any kind... but I love the ending of your poem, which basically asserts that in many cases, simply a case of 'sharing' would be a win/win solution...
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your in depth review, comments and wonderful stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Good sentiments but the contest will be scuranised for meter and unfortunately your poem has not obeyed the rules, a little tweeking will bring it into line. Friendly for instance, the stress is on (friend), so adding a word at the beginning and taking a word out later will fix it. Some punctuation will also improve your poem, good luck, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Good sentiments but the contest will be scuranised for meter and unfortunately your poem has not obeyed the rules, a little tweeking will bring it into line. Friendly for instance, the stress is on (friend), so adding a word at the beginning and taking a word out later will fix it. Some punctuation will also improve your poem, good luck, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your instructive comments and welcome stars.
Comment from Shanbreen
This is such a great poem and it speaks volumes about how people demand rather than ask in a nice way. Your sonnet rhymes well. Here's wishing you the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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This is such a great poem and it speaks volumes about how people demand rather than ask in a nice way. Your sonnet rhymes well. Here's wishing you the best for the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments and stars.
Comment from Artasylum
Sonnets just came into my radar and now I'm studying them so maybe one fine day...
"You should never take what you know we own
our cake just a metaphorical phrase
If you ask nicely with true smile and tone
words from the heart not in some teasing ways"
I love your sonnet and am off to study it... thanks so much for this. yours, diana
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2018
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Sonnets just came into my radar and now I'm studying them so maybe one fine day...
"You should never take what you know we own
our cake just a metaphorical phrase
If you ask nicely with true smile and tone
words from the heart not in some teasing ways"
I love your sonnet and am off to study it... thanks so much for this. yours, diana
Comment Written 27-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2018
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Thank you very much Artasylum for your kind words and stars.
Comment from Yemima Kebede1
Great job! This is outstanding. I really love the last four lines. Keep up the great work that you do. This is a great entry for the contest. Best of luck! Well done!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Great job! This is outstanding. I really love the last four lines. Keep up the great work that you do. This is a great entry for the contest. Best of luck! Well done!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Thank you Yemima for your comments and stars.
Comment from Gloria ....
Henry this is a terrific poem and excellent social commentary. We most certainly should never take anything that isn't ours in order to have our cake and eat it too even metaphorically.
Your rhymes are terrific but the iambic pentametre is a little of in some lines.
I will just go through the first stanza to show you where it needs just a few little tweaks to meet contest requirements.
We made our cake and will eat it too
We made our cake and WE will eat it too
I speak belligerently at a stance
Good as is
never a word spoken in jest but true
a spoken word in jest is never true
withholding not my steely glance
nor is withholding my cold steely glance
(just a couple of syllables missing there)
Just suggestions to do with as you please.
Terrific poem and I wish you good luck in the contest. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2018
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Henry this is a terrific poem and excellent social commentary. We most certainly should never take anything that isn't ours in order to have our cake and eat it too even metaphorically.
Your rhymes are terrific but the iambic pentametre is a little of in some lines.
I will just go through the first stanza to show you where it needs just a few little tweaks to meet contest requirements.
We made our cake and will eat it too
We made our cake and WE will eat it too
I speak belligerently at a stance
Good as is
never a word spoken in jest but true
a spoken word in jest is never true
withholding not my steely glance
nor is withholding my cold steely glance
(just a couple of syllables missing there)
Just suggestions to do with as you please.
Terrific poem and I wish you good luck in the contest. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 25-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2018
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Thank you Gloria for your comments and stars.
