Be Wee With Bea
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Wishing to Be Wee"An allegory in the Winnie the Pooh genre
15 total reviews
Comment from A.J. Dodd (AD)
Ok, after your very polite but clearly disappointed response I went to what I hope is the origin.
I didn't read this quite as carefully as I did the first piece, where some of my comments still stand, others I can retract with a bit of insight.
I now understand the repetition, and that I do retract, it is a constant reminder to us that this is her driving force in life. So with "exercise" that makes perfect sense, it is supposed to echo with use. I will rework the previous review and up the star count to five as with this insight, the editing task is quite minor.
I hope I did not offend, and if you do appreciate a careful read (this review not withstanding) I will follow along.
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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Ok, after your very polite but clearly disappointed response I went to what I hope is the origin.
I didn't read this quite as carefully as I did the first piece, where some of my comments still stand, others I can retract with a bit of insight.
I now understand the repetition, and that I do retract, it is a constant reminder to us that this is her driving force in life. So with "exercise" that makes perfect sense, it is supposed to echo with use. I will rework the previous review and up the star count to five as with this insight, the editing task is quite minor.
I hope I did not offend, and if you do appreciate a careful read (this review not withstanding) I will follow along.
Comment Written 22-May-2019
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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I was not offended. I just knew you had not caught the "Bea bug" as have those who have followed her adventures and learned new things about themselves. I do hope you will find time to enjoy more of her. And thank you for the 5 stars. As a teacher I consider that an A
Comment from Liberty Justice
BEAUTIFUL story about a little wee bear. Excellent and fun to read for children that teaches a lesson that is hurtful and wrong to bully and make fun of other kids. Its up to parents, principals and teachers to STOP bullying. Love moral of this story. Check out more of mine and message me if you purchase my 2 books in my profile. WELL DONE. Happy merry holidays! lolol liberty justice
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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BEAUTIFUL story about a little wee bear. Excellent and fun to read for children that teaches a lesson that is hurtful and wrong to bully and make fun of other kids. Its up to parents, principals and teachers to STOP bullying. Love moral of this story. Check out more of mine and message me if you purchase my 2 books in my profile. WELL DONE. Happy merry holidays! lolol liberty justice
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your very supportive review. I will definitely visit your works. Your portfolio is now on my list of ones I visit frequently. There are about 45 so far.
Comment from Mabaker
Liz, question, I see an exceptional rating for Wee Bea, and it was rightly awarded. Like your talent with reviewing, so it is with your writing. Yes, I agree, this would resonate with children especially those, like Bea, who are bit tubby, and cruely bullied, have you written any more chapters? I'll read them happily. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Liz, question, I see an exceptional rating for Wee Bea, and it was rightly awarded. Like your talent with reviewing, so it is with your writing. Yes, I agree, this would resonate with children especially those, like Bea, who are bit tubby, and cruely bullied, have you written any more chapters? I'll read them happily. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Yes, I have written the whole book and self published it & am slowly posting them. I'm up to chap 14 here. Thank you for your support. It is available on Amazon etc.
Comment from LaRosa
The seventh paragraph, which speaks of Bea's transition in thinking, was especially well done. Your poor wee Bea bear expresses her feelings and we feel the distress and pain. We can relate. I can imagine a child reading and finding her own voice as a result.
Including the spiritual connection to the purpose of life and how to keep on 'the path' is a good idea.
I want to quote so much but will stop with two:
' Why should she have a "be good to myself" treat when she did not feel good about herself?'
' But then there were times when she didn't want to be invisible, but she was....Being invisible turned out to be as painful as being visible.'
The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the constant use of the word 'she'. Perhaps you might explore a different structure...like direct conversations. Conversations are so much more fun to follow and draw the reader into closer relationship with characters. You don't feel always outside looking in.
Your whole story line and character development is new and fascinating and you're having fun...and so we do too.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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The seventh paragraph, which speaks of Bea's transition in thinking, was especially well done. Your poor wee Bea bear expresses her feelings and we feel the distress and pain. We can relate. I can imagine a child reading and finding her own voice as a result.
Including the spiritual connection to the purpose of life and how to keep on 'the path' is a good idea.
I want to quote so much but will stop with two:
' Why should she have a "be good to myself" treat when she did not feel good about herself?'
' But then there were times when she didn't want to be invisible, but she was....Being invisible turned out to be as painful as being visible.'
The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the constant use of the word 'she'. Perhaps you might explore a different structure...like direct conversations. Conversations are so much more fun to follow and draw the reader into closer relationship with characters. You don't feel always outside looking in.
Your whole story line and character development is new and fascinating and you're having fun...and so we do too.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Wow, thank you for such an uplifting review. You really have grasped my intent in writing this story. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Comment from SueZen
WOW, totally impressed with this narrative, a delight to read! Great combination of philosophical, psychological wisdom, insights, teachings, etc, "wrapped up in a warm
blanket", full of humour, heart-warming advice, healthy exercises and so much more
to "take on board" for the benefit of healing soul, body and mind, i.e. personal transformation and spiritual evolution. This should be in the curriculum of all elementary educational systems and even higher ones!!!
BRAVO, excellent in every way!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
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WOW, totally impressed with this narrative, a delight to read! Great combination of philosophical, psychological wisdom, insights, teachings, etc, "wrapped up in a warm
blanket", full of humour, heart-warming advice, healthy exercises and so much more
to "take on board" for the benefit of healing soul, body and mind, i.e. personal transformation and spiritual evolution. This should be in the curriculum of all elementary educational systems and even higher ones!!!
BRAVO, excellent in every way!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
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Another six stars. Thank you. You have shared so much of yourself in the reviews. I am honored.
Comment from BeasPeas
Now I know the concept of Bea Wee Bear and how she got her name. At first I was a bit confused about her being called "wee" if she was rolley-polley, but she is trying to become a wee bear. An enjoyable chapter. Marilyn
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Now I know the concept of Bea Wee Bear and how she got her name. At first I was a bit confused about her being called "wee" if she was rolley-polley, but she is trying to become a wee bear. An enjoyable chapter. Marilyn
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Oh good. It only gets better. Thank you for your interest & support.
Comment from Xia Thornwood
This is a cute story. I enjoyed the characters and the idea behind the story, however, the plot felt rather weak. I think this story has more potential than is explored. But I do like what you have already done with it.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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This is a cute story. I enjoyed the characters and the idea behind the story, however, the plot felt rather weak. I think this story has more potential than is explored. But I do like what you have already done with it.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thorough review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from kiwijenny
This confused me.. Wouldn't she have to exercise BECAUSE she was wee not TO be wee? And she was bullied by little mean bears...lose the little . Remember your audience. You will lose their focus. Wee bear needs to DO something instead of talking about mean bears .
God bless
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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This confused me.. Wouldn't she have to exercise BECAUSE she was wee not TO be wee? And she was bullied by little mean bears...lose the little . Remember your audience. You will lose their focus. Wee bear needs to DO something instead of talking about mean bears .
God bless
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your comprehensive review. She was overweight at least that what she grew up thinking. The amusing irony is that she eats honey as part of her exercises to be wee or smaller or thinner. Here is a link to a clearer idea of the book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQYIAJT23mU&feature=youtu.be
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hi Liz, another great additional chapter for your narrative.
A 'good to myself treat', I liked that, and I enjoyed finding out about the origin of the name. I think your story would be very appealing for your target audience. You right with good grammar and spelling and nothing jarred. This is an entertaining read with broad appeal and thanks for sharing it, Ana.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Hi Liz, another great additional chapter for your narrative.
A 'good to myself treat', I liked that, and I enjoyed finding out about the origin of the name. I think your story would be very appealing for your target audience. You right with good grammar and spelling and nothing jarred. This is an entertaining read with broad appeal and thanks for sharing it, Ana.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your entertaining review. You definitely got it. Below is a short trailer of the book. It is delightful. I know you will enjoy it too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQYIAJT23mU&feature=youtu.be
Comment from robyn corum
Liz,
This is quite cute. I figured out midway through that this piece had a 'message' behind it, but at no time did it feel preachy or judgey -- and it's hard to walk that line. Great job!
This is the first I've read of your story, so it took me a bit to understand that it wasn't actually BEA telling the story, but someone else she had told the story to. That tripped me up for a minute and I think it might be helpful to add that to your notes.
Some other things that might need more attention, if you don't mind me saying so?
1.) but still it was hard not to l remember the voices stuck like honey,
--> that 'I' in the middle is unnecessary
--> the metaphor you've used is brilliant!
2.) Her friends accepted her just the way she was. .After
--> extra period
3.) many summers, Bea began to NOTICE that she
--> not sure why you chose to emphasize 'Notice', but often it's better to italicize the words than bold them - it seems less like you're screaming.
4.) she explained that it is the name she has carried since the day
--> I suggest:
--> she explained that (was) the name she (had) carried since the day
I think you're doing a great job and I wish you lots of luck! Let me know if you decide to edit. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2018
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Liz,
This is quite cute. I figured out midway through that this piece had a 'message' behind it, but at no time did it feel preachy or judgey -- and it's hard to walk that line. Great job!
This is the first I've read of your story, so it took me a bit to understand that it wasn't actually BEA telling the story, but someone else she had told the story to. That tripped me up for a minute and I think it might be helpful to add that to your notes.
Some other things that might need more attention, if you don't mind me saying so?
1.) but still it was hard not to l remember the voices stuck like honey,
--> that 'I' in the middle is unnecessary
--> the metaphor you've used is brilliant!
2.) Her friends accepted her just the way she was. .After
--> extra period
3.) many summers, Bea began to NOTICE that she
--> not sure why you chose to emphasize 'Notice', but often it's better to italicize the words than bold them - it seems less like you're screaming.
4.) she explained that it is the name she has carried since the day
--> I suggest:
--> she explained that (was) the name she (had) carried since the day
I think you're doing a great job and I wish you lots of luck! Let me know if you decide to edit. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your thorough review. I will fix these up. I'm glad you enjoyed it. There will more to come.
Thank you so much for your comprehensive review. I went back to see what I had omitted because I was sure I had addressed how the narrator had met Bea. It was in my Preface which I did not include. It is now in the author's notes.
Timothy, the wood carving, clay pot making, furniture building beaver, whom you will meet later, introduced me to Bea the wee bear. I was immediately attracted to her. I felt energized as I joined her in her STROLLING exercise along BEA'S GOLDEN PATH. I met her dear handsome friend Scruffles the Raccoon Cat and Sweet Puppy who are the center of many of Bea's adventures; especially when she learns new things about herself.
I have learned new things about myself from using her suggestion of doing BRAIN exercises to find answers to problems. She didn't even seem to mind that I tracked mud into her home which was an enormous cave with a variety of tunnels branching out in different directions, forming very comfortable rooms. I thoroughly enjoyed watching her do her rigorous exercise program of STEPSTOOLING, FINE MOTOR WEIGHT LIFTING, TOE TOUCHING, and FLOOR TOUCHING. I laughed as she did RUNNING IN PLACE, all to be wee.
