Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

This is a great statement poem. It is thought provoking which is a good thing--make people think.

Suggestions:

let's make the world great[could you rhyme this line with the other 2---A great world I see]
by letting go letting be [if we let go and let be]
on land & on sea [spell out the word 'and']

ok, you can file 13 = trash my suggestions

Best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

Jannypan thank you for your review. giovanni

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

Thank you Jannypan for your review. giovanni

Comment from Cindy McIntyre

Excellent

A great topic of choice for your poem. Your underlying message of peace and forgiveness shines through in your 5-7-5 poem. What a wonderful entry to the contest. Good luck.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

Cindy thank you for your review. giovanni

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

Cindy thank you for your review. giovanni

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

His reminds me of the golden rule...Do to others as you want them to do to you
How great this world would be ..on land in sky under sea wherever we be
Well penned
God bless

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

kiwijenny thank you for your review. giovanni

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

Kiwijenny thank you for your review. giovanni

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018

t/y