Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

This poem literally made me dizzy. You have a way with words! And your presentation completes the charm. Blue is my favorite color. This is one of the most beautiful poems I have read. It will always remain in the recesses of my heart.

the stars then
endless lights
a sequined walkway to infinity
but that is a fancy
a myth scribbled in desperation

I am speechless.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2018

You are much too kind. Thank you very much. mike

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

Beautifully done mike, I really love the verse - for a bud but blooms once - lovely, romantic sentiments spoken to the one - why I write -
I do love the way you use your language in free verse, they flow into each other beautifully.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Hi, Valda

Just thrilled you enjoyed, thanks for a beautiful review. :)) mike

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

This is a nice philosophical and metaphoric love song. It uses a flowers attributes to make your lover even better than the best flower. It shows the warmth love can give you physically and emotionally.

Hope this did well in the contest.

Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Thanks so much, Joan. Appreciated. mike :))

reply by dragonpoet on 14-Jun-2018

My pleasure, Mike.

Joan

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Your contest entry is so perfect that I have absolutely NO suggestions to make it any better. I see no way. Thank you for sharing this poem with us and I wish you the best of luck.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Thanks a million, Barbara. I'm so behind on everything. What lovely words to hear and so appreciated. mike :))

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hello, Mikey;

As always, your poetry strikes a chord deep down in my soul. I think the presentation, artwork, and form are wonderful.

I can see within these lines how the free verse is composed of no rhyme, but the use of poetic devices to build the poem,

Thank you for sharing,

~patty~

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Thanks so much, Patty. As always I'm years behind and late. I so appreciate your kind words. :)) mike

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written free verse poem about someone you love puzzlingly and you wonder how can you love this beautiful person while you feel she is above you and you don't deserve her love, but you do love her.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2018

Comment from karenina

Exceptional

This is exquisite. There is a surrender to a love so all-encompassing that your words flow off the page in rivers of emotion and directly to the heart of anyone who has ever had the good fortune to be so smitten. Free verse untethers the soul from form and meter. It speaks as freely as the summer wind upon the surface of the sea... I am taken by the honesty herein.

Karenina

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

You're too kind. Thanks so very much. Sorry I'm so late, but I'm just lame and behind on everything I suppose. So appreciated. :)) mike

reply by karenina on 14-Jun-2018

Life has a way of making us late....(smile)

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Superb! Love the medley of AHAs in this, the emotional pitch and intensity, the imagery, the tone and voicing and the flow! All top notch. Fine phonetics in phrasing too. A strong entry, sure to place.

Lucky indeed. Lucky delirium.


Favorite lines:

but, no
for a bud but blooms once
and you a thousand times
and a thousand more


AND

a sequined walkway to infinity
but that is a fancy
a myth scribbled in desperation

stars are distant
and you envelop me
stars burn unpurposed
you warm as if I matter

Lovely presentation too.
A very worthy entry. Bravo!

Warmly,
rd

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Hi, Rama!

I so appreciate your lovely words. I'm miles behind and just buried. I always read and pay attention to every word though. You're appreciated to the max. Thanks a million. :)) mike

reply by rama devi on 14-Jun-2018

Thanks for your super gracious comments and gestures - a million thanks! :-)))

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Mikey, this is a lovely write for a special person in your life. I thought you used the formatting to good effect in the free verse to give a slightly breathless feeling.

I do wish the images were more original and specific. There was a line that stood out for me:

a sequined walkway to infinity

I like this because it is more concrete and specific than the other lines.

I also like the way you end this poem. It feels very authentic.

Now, I realize that what I am critiquing in this poem is not an easy feat. However, I do think free verse needs strong and detailed imagery to really stand on its own without rhyme or meter as a poem. Just an honest opinion and one meant to be helpful. Best to you in the contest, regardless.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Sorry so late. This is wonderful advice that I totally get. YES! I see exactly what you're saying. I think I write too fast perhaps. Thanks a million. I'll keep this in mind. :)) mike

reply by catch22 on 14-Jun-2018

Thanks Mikey for your gracious response.

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Exceptional

Hello Michael .... this is simply beautiful, for me, you are one of the best poets on this site. I find you have the ability to capture real emotion in your words. Something that is very hard to do. I just love this, the publishing with the gorgeous blue rose, but it's the words. Who is the lucky someone you wrote this for? I think I would want to freeze that moment in time if someone wrote this to me. (How about writing me one LOL See what you can rustle-up.)

Ana

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018

Hi, Ana, miles behind as usual. Wow. What praise. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this. I'm sure the lucky someone wouldn't be that impressed. But, that's okay. Doesn't change my point of view. LOL Maybe I'll think of one for you. :)) Thanks so much. mike