Sins of Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Sebastian's Curse/Part Three"A Novel of the Breedline series
9 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is very well written. An interesting, but complex concept that you are explaining well in your story. Lines flow well one to the next. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2018
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This is very well written. An interesting, but complex concept that you are explaining well in your story. Lines flow well one to the next. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 04-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2018
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Thank you, Marilyn :)
I do enjoy writing my story, and this website has been such a helpful tool. Everyone here has and continues to teach me all about writing. You and others here have strengthened my courage, and skills I so needed.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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I agree. I do think we learn from each other. Marilyn
Comment from rwilliam
WHOA this picture is amazing. I had to stop and just look at it. IT tells such a story and goes very well with your chapter.
I loved this chapter. It flowed so well. I can see how your writing has improved. the visuals you paint are so great.
I didn't see that coming with Sebastians sister. I'm sorry I've been so behind on reading your work. I will try and go back and catch up. Keep going girl. This is really an awesome story!!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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WHOA this picture is amazing. I had to stop and just look at it. IT tells such a story and goes very well with your chapter.
I loved this chapter. It flowed so well. I can see how your writing has improved. the visuals you paint are so great.
I didn't see that coming with Sebastians sister. I'm sorry I've been so behind on reading your work. I will try and go back and catch up. Keep going girl. This is really an awesome story!!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Thank you, girl! :)
I glad you like this book. I can't wait to show you the cover. I had the artist from Mauloabook.com work on my cover. It sure is hard work going through the publishing process. Man, if you don't watch out, things will slip through the cracks. It's exhausting!
Thanks for stopping in to read my chapter. Your opinion always matters to me.
BTW... I love Sebastian's sister, Anna. She is so sweet.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from ngage
Congratulations Miss Shana! You've managed to win me over with another one of your captivating and exciting chapter. You are amazing with the way you weave in and out of each scene with ease.
You are truly gifted my friend. I enjoy your magical Breedline world
Nate
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Congratulations Miss Shana! You've managed to win me over with another one of your captivating and exciting chapter. You are amazing with the way you weave in and out of each scene with ease.
You are truly gifted my friend. I enjoy your magical Breedline world
Nate
Comment Written 09-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Thank you dear friend :)
You are going to make my head swell! Haha! Your feedback is great to hear. I sure appreciate your support and awesome reviews.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Mistydawn
What a powerful chapter packed with so many emotions. It's very well-written interesting, drew me right in. Your great description, made me feel their pain, agony. The characters seem real and dialogue is perfect.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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What a powerful chapter packed with so many emotions. It's very well-written interesting, drew me right in. Your great description, made me feel their pain, agony. The characters seem real and dialogue is perfect.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you, Mistydawn :)
So good to hear from you again, and thanks for taking the time to read my chapter. Glad you enjoyed. My most valuable reward is hearing how my characters made you feel their emotions. Fantastic!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from apky
Oh heavens, my friend, you have another absolutely glorious artwork with this chapter. It caught my attention immediately and stayed in my imagination the whole time I read.
Poor Sebastian, I really felt sorry for him - yet again. You're still the mistress of weaving intricate and complex stories here, my friend. You keep the reader, me, on my toes and challgenged to maintain the complexity in my mind as I read. Every corner turns into a completely different twist in the story.
What better way to keep a story compulsive to the reader? You're simply brilliant.
It was (as) if he was a ghost, watching his past flash before his eyes.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Oh heavens, my friend, you have another absolutely glorious artwork with this chapter. It caught my attention immediately and stayed in my imagination the whole time I read.
Poor Sebastian, I really felt sorry for him - yet again. You're still the mistress of weaving intricate and complex stories here, my friend. You keep the reader, me, on my toes and challgenged to maintain the complexity in my mind as I read. Every corner turns into a completely different twist in the story.
What better way to keep a story compulsive to the reader? You're simply brilliant.
It was (as) if he was a ghost, watching his past flash before his eyes.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you, my talented friend :)
Your support means so much to me. The artwork reminded me of my character Sebastian as he suffers Lucifer's curse. Thank you for mentioning him. Yes, Sebastian has done some horrible things... but he has suffered so much as a young child. Everyone deserves a second chance.
I'm glad to hear the mixed scenes are not confusing and flow well. I'm always afraid I will lose the reader weaving in and out of each story line.
You keep me motivated and proud to continue writing more adventures for my Breedline.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This continues about the curse, matter gets clear to some extent, Sebastian could not scream, mother could not hear him, mother's choice is irreversible, he is to bear the consequence; curious ending; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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This continues about the curse, matter gets clear to some extent, Sebastian could not scream, mother could not hear him, mother's choice is irreversible, he is to bear the consequence; curious ending; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you, DR ALCREATOR :)
It's always a pleasure hearing from you. Thanks for your support and kind words. It is definitely uplifting.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Swampfox1
This is my favorite part, " "Mr. Crow will be moved to the intensive care unit, where he can be monitored at all times," Helen told them. "As of now, his condition remains critical. Under my orders, he's not to be released from the hospital until he's stable. I--"
Helen was interrupted when a woman burst into the waiting room. Her light green eyes were wild and ringed with exhaustion.
"Where's Sebastian?" she demanded. "I'm his sister. My name is Anna Saeni. I want to see my brother immediately."
Helen frowned. "Sister?" Your writing is very good, it does the job and I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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This is my favorite part, " "Mr. Crow will be moved to the intensive care unit, where he can be monitored at all times," Helen told them. "As of now, his condition remains critical. Under my orders, he's not to be released from the hospital until he's stable. I--"
Helen was interrupted when a woman burst into the waiting room. Her light green eyes were wild and ringed with exhaustion.
"Where's Sebastian?" she demanded. "I'm his sister. My name is Anna Saeni. I want to see my brother immediately."
Helen frowned. "Sister?" Your writing is very good, it does the job and I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you, Swampfox1 :)
I appreciate your feedback and letting me know your favorite scenes. It always nice to hear kind and encouraging words. Hope to hear from you again. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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you're welcome
Comment from royowen
Thanks for this episode dear Shana. I love the way you are weaving new characters into your fascinating story each. It's a great idea, it stops the story from being repetitious and "bogged", (not that it has fo me) a sister for Sebastion, and a resurrected mother, at least in his mind, Sebastion's not terribly different from anyone else. Valkin Steele will go to any lengths to save his beloved. Excellent episode, dear girl, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thanks for this episode dear Shana. I love the way you are weaving new characters into your fascinating story each. It's a great idea, it stops the story from being repetitious and "bogged", (not that it has fo me) a sister for Sebastion, and a resurrected mother, at least in his mind, Sebastion's not terribly different from anyone else. Valkin Steele will go to any lengths to save his beloved. Excellent episode, dear girl, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you my dear friend :)
I think we were reading each others posts at the same time as I just finished with yours. Haha!
I'm glad to hear you do enjoy the story break with different scenes. Hopefully no one will be lost or confused. There is a lot going on and much more to come. Watch out for Mr. Steele. He's a new kind of evil. :)
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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With all my pleasure
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Lucifer smirked. "Oh, but there is."
"I'm not giving you my son!" Sebastian barked. "The cruel memories of my past won't change my mind."
"We've only just begun. You may change your mind yet."
"Go back to hell," Sebastian spat, turning away and refocusing back toward the window.' YOU ARE ONE incredible writer. Now I want to read all your work. I would like to purchase your first book and start from the beginning as the world you have created is so fascinating, so vivid. Well done, few writers have impressed me so much. Love and very best wishes Meia xx
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Lucifer smirked. "Oh, but there is."
"I'm not giving you my son!" Sebastian barked. "The cruel memories of my past won't change my mind."
"We've only just begun. You may change your mind yet."
"Go back to hell," Sebastian spat, turning away and refocusing back toward the window.' YOU ARE ONE incredible writer. Now I want to read all your work. I would like to purchase your first book and start from the beginning as the world you have created is so fascinating, so vivid. Well done, few writers have impressed me so much. Love and very best wishes Meia xx
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Oh, wow!!! :)
Thank you my dear, Meia! You sure know how to give a girl a boost. This made my whole day. If you send me your address, I would love to send you a free download of my first and second book. That's how much I appreciate you! This review makes me feel good about my writing. The best reward I could ask for.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
