Granny's Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Plan B"Losing everything Granny is out for revenge.
8 total reviews
Comment from apky
It looks like Jackie is in trouble with Granny now - I hope she's wise enough no to mess with her.
But one thing sounds unbelievable: when Jackie turns up in the scene, the man is still alive, on top of Granny, AND speaks to Jackie, accusing Gran of trying to kill him. Then all of a sudden he's all bloodied and dead?
You need to work on that to make it credible.
Sorry - no more sixes on a Thursday afternoon, and by Sunday you might no longer have this post still live.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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It looks like Jackie is in trouble with Granny now - I hope she's wise enough no to mess with her.
But one thing sounds unbelievable: when Jackie turns up in the scene, the man is still alive, on top of Granny, AND speaks to Jackie, accusing Gran of trying to kill him. Then all of a sudden he's all bloodied and dead?
You need to work on that to make it credible.
Sorry - no more sixes on a Thursday afternoon, and by Sunday you might no longer have this post still live.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your helpful review and all your support. I changed that part to where he says "She tried to..." He takes a final breath and collapses on top of Granny. Remember, that's the main artery from the heart, someone can bleed out in a matter of minutes.
Thank you again for your kind review all your help and support, it's always greatly appreciated, take care.
I'm out of sixes too. Read a lot of good stuff this week.
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Good to know - about the artery. Now, since I'm planning to one day have Shana shoot Sggirb, can you tell me if shooting somebody in both knees can kill them soon or slowly?
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Choosing the knees may not be a good idea. Unless Shanna has great aim the area will be hard to hit especially if she's under duress. It may not stop him completely. If he goes down with a gun he can still shoot his target. The bullet might kill him by hitting a femoral artery depending on where the bullet enters, what direction it takes once it's inside his body. If it doesn't kill him it'll be very painful, and will eventually bleed out possibly hours later. This depends on the bullet, if he's on blood thinners, drank alcohol, or has a clotting disorder, thrombocytopenia or hemophilia. Hope this helps.
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Yes, it helped a lot, Misty, thanks. You really know your way around this stuf, lol!
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Revenge is good motive for one's action, especially when no one else seems to care.
Wow! You never know, do you?
I hope I never get on the wrong side of her.
Well written.
Marv
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Revenge is good motive for one's action, especially when no one else seems to care.
Wow! You never know, do you?
I hope I never get on the wrong side of her.
Well written.
Marv
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and your encouraging words. Granny isn't someone you wouldn't want to anger that's for sure, lol.
Thank you again for your kind review, take care.
Ps. I didn't win but my competition was fierce, 1st, 3rd, and 9th place ranking. I figure that just being thought good enough to compete against them, is a win in itself.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Misty
I smiles at the humor of Rachel's pet skunk
(I just hope the skunk had its skunk defense removed if not Joe will have more than upset stomach (if the skunk decides to spray its unbearable spray.
It makes me smile to think Liz thinks Granny is weak and not capable of taking care of herself.
The reader sure know she isn't defenseless.
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Hello Misty
I smiles at the humor of Rachel's pet skunk
(I just hope the skunk had its skunk defense removed if not Joe will have more than upset stomach (if the skunk decides to spray its unbearable spray.
It makes me smile to think Liz thinks Granny is weak and not capable of taking care of herself.
The reader sure know she isn't defenseless.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review. Fortunately, he was able to escape, but yeah his glands are removed. Glad you got a kick out of that. I had a run-in with a skunk once, my dog chased him in the house. Took forever to get the smell out. Granny is far from helpless that's for sure.
Thank you again for all your support it means the world to me, take care.
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You are welcome Misty
Oh so you know the whole sense of what happens when your dog got sprayed
Sometime I will write my skunk true story
about one of our dogs, who got mixed up at the same time with more than a skunk
Gert
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Poor dog, poor you having to smell it lol. I'd love to read it sometime.
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I will and will let you know when
Ty
Gert
Comment from royowen
This time granny gets caught in the very act of bludgeoning her next Victim and firing an ice bullet into his neck. And is discovered by Jackie, who initially thinks Grannie is in trouble, Sharon has uncovered something about the case and calls, but he thinks it might be a Rachel joke. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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This time granny gets caught in the very act of bludgeoning her next Victim and firing an ice bullet into his neck. And is discovered by Jackie, who initially thinks Grannie is in trouble, Sharon has uncovered something about the case and calls, but he thinks it might be a Rachel joke. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for all your support and your wonderful reviews, I'm so glad you're enjoying it, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh dear, don't tell me Granny is going to kill the waitress! Another fun chapter in he like of the Killing Granny. The only change I might make if the first sentence, I say just, 'lighting flashes' instead of 'a bolt of lighting.' But over all a good read. =} Rox
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Oh dear, don't tell me Granny is going to kill the waitress! Another fun chapter in he like of the Killing Granny. The only change I might make if the first sentence, I say just, 'lighting flashes' instead of 'a bolt of lighting.' But over all a good read. =} Rox
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and encouraging words. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Granny has three options, go to prison, kill the waitress or make her a partner. A tough choice. Thank you again for your nice review and all your support, take care.
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I look forward to seeing what Granny chooses. =}
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
We're in for a heck of a storm. She thinks as she continues towards the darkness. - make this one sentence, with a comma after storm rather than the full storm and she.
"Hey, get back here." The vile man - ideally a comma before the closing speech marks and the vile man...
Would the cameras not have seen her running off and the lush following? They'd probably be checked if a body turned up nearby.
he chuckles - He in this instance.
Would he really have been able to dodge the ice bullet? Logic says for it to the damage it had been doing, it would need to be propelled at the same velocity a normal bullet would.
the window." Are you sure it isn't one - spacing here.
Are you sure it isn't one of Rachel's pranks, sir." - needs a question mark.
he heads down the hall. - He.
How by running the girls ragged - maybe a comma after how here.
grabs a fist full of hair - fistful.
Oh oh, Granny's going bonkers... lol
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Hi there,
We're in for a heck of a storm. She thinks as she continues towards the darkness. - make this one sentence, with a comma after storm rather than the full storm and she.
"Hey, get back here." The vile man - ideally a comma before the closing speech marks and the vile man...
Would the cameras not have seen her running off and the lush following? They'd probably be checked if a body turned up nearby.
he chuckles - He in this instance.
Would he really have been able to dodge the ice bullet? Logic says for it to the damage it had been doing, it would need to be propelled at the same velocity a normal bullet would.
the window." Are you sure it isn't one - spacing here.
Are you sure it isn't one of Rachel's pranks, sir." - needs a question mark.
he heads down the hall. - He.
How by running the girls ragged - maybe a comma after how here.
grabs a fist full of hair - fistful.
Oh oh, Granny's going bonkers... lol
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your very detailed review. Your help is ALWAYS greatly appreciated. I've completely deleted the dodging the ice bullet part, and the part about the camera, your right it will be checked. Guess I'll have to work my way out of that hole somehow. Thanks for catching that and for pointing out all my other mistakes. Thank you again for all the help you've given me, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, I really like the storyline and you have a great story to tell. But that's the point I would like to put across. Show rather than tell. Use the five senses. Hear feel smell and so on. It will make such a difference. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Hi there, I really like the storyline and you have a great story to tell. But that's the point I would like to put across. Show rather than tell. Use the five senses. Hear feel smell and so on. It will make such a difference. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review and for your advice. I've been working so hard trying to bring the characters to light that I've slacked on detail yet again. I'll try to bring it all together the next go around.
Thank you again for your kind review and your helpful advice, take care.
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It's me again. I wanted to let you know that I've edited my latest chapter, Plan B. It now has a lot more details.
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I will look into it and come back to you. Thanks for letting me know. My friend from Scotland is going away tomorrow giving me more time on the site.:))
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Oh, no. Granny gave herself away. She'll have to kill Jackie now or go to prison for life. Maybe her state even has the death penalty. Poor Granny. SHe fought so hard for justice. LOL!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Oh, no. Granny gave herself away. She'll have to kill Jackie now or go to prison for life. Maybe her state even has the death penalty. Poor Granny. SHe fought so hard for justice. LOL!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for your nice review and all your support. Yep, Granny has got herself in a heck of a pickle, it's a big dill, lol. I know don't become a comedian; I just couldn't resist. Granny is smart, she'll figure a way out of it.
Thanks again for your kind review and all your support it means a lot to me, take care.
