My Brothers' Keeper
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Another Trip to the Village"Rachel feels responsible for her brother.
5 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
What a nice place with the friendly townspeople who all know and love Daniel and Gray. It seems Rachel would be right at home there. I like how you give us the homey feel at the B&B and how Gray has fun getting attention especially from the women.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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What a nice place with the friendly townspeople who all know and love Daniel and Gray. It seems Rachel would be right at home there. I like how you give us the homey feel at the B&B and how Gray has fun getting attention especially from the women.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your loving comments. Hugs and smiles!
Comment from Pantygynt
I like the way this story varies from the cosy everything is OK mode that suddenly gets thrown into a crisis, like Gray caught in the trap. It mimics real life neatly. Today we are deep in comfort zone but I am pretty sure it won't last.
Keep spinning it along.
"Daniel planned on talking to Todd and Gray just planned on intimidating the tourists."
This needs a comma after Todd and the subsequent 'and' would be better as 'while' otherwise there is a tendency to think Daniel will be talking to both of them.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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I like the way this story varies from the cosy everything is OK mode that suddenly gets thrown into a crisis, like Gray caught in the trap. It mimics real life neatly. Today we are deep in comfort zone but I am pretty sure it won't last.
Keep spinning it along.
"Daniel planned on talking to Todd and Gray just planned on intimidating the tourists."
This needs a comma after Todd and the subsequent 'and' would be better as 'while' otherwise there is a tendency to think Daniel will be talking to both of them.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate your comments, oh and I will fix that error shortly.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Alie. I see that congenial relationships are developing with the townspeople and neighbors as Rachel and Daniel become a couple.
There are a few typos to fix toward the end of the chapter:
"On days they both needed to both (eliminate second 'both') be gone, Phyllis made the meals ahead,"
" I never have quests (guests) wanting lunch."
"sprinkle of cheese and fresh rolls, (.) Billy, Todd and Daniel all had second helpings."
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Hi Alie. I see that congenial relationships are developing with the townspeople and neighbors as Rachel and Daniel become a couple.
There are a few typos to fix toward the end of the chapter:
"On days they both needed to both (eliminate second 'both') be gone, Phyllis made the meals ahead,"
" I never have quests (guests) wanting lunch."
"sprinkle of cheese and fresh rolls, (.) Billy, Todd and Daniel all had second helpings."
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much Marilyn, I really appreciate your kind comments and corrections, those will be fixed shortly.
Comment from Aussie
Just one typo (I think) "I never have quests (guests)" I loved your home spun yarn. It has all the ingredients of love and mystery. Having only just caught up with the 23 chapter? Still, I can pick up the thread of your writing. Excellent, wish I had ****** six stars for you. Blessings, K.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Just one typo (I think) "I never have quests (guests)" I loved your home spun yarn. It has all the ingredients of love and mystery. Having only just caught up with the 23 chapter? Still, I can pick up the thread of your writing. Excellent, wish I had ****** six stars for you. Blessings, K.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much Kay for your kind words, I will get that correction fixed shortly.
Comment from Mabaker
I really like this story, Alie. Also, I noted the spacing. The story is warming up, which is how it should be, in a love affair.
I love the thought of Gray a wolf who loves to be talked baby-talk. Most people say it's the tone of voice rather than the actual words. Great chapter. Love U Anne
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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I really like this story, Alie. Also, I noted the spacing. The story is warming up, which is how it should be, in a love affair.
I love the thought of Gray a wolf who loves to be talked baby-talk. Most people say it's the tone of voice rather than the actual words. Great chapter. Love U Anne
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much Anne, I really appreciate your kind comments and of course the six stars. You know I think you are right. Years ago one of my nursing projects was to respond to people with a super positive voice but to say something totally negative, I was surprised that 9 out of 10 didn't hear what I said, only that it was a pleasant voice. MMM makes one wonder. Luv u alie.
