Our Sweet Greyson
Tanka contest entry26 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
An Excellent poem and praise for your Greyson it is unfortunate that they have to grow and leave for school, I love the photo, very well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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An Excellent poem and praise for your Greyson it is unfortunate that they have to grow and leave for school, I love the photo, very well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 26-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much my friend for the wonderful review and lovely comments! Blessings, Teri
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, my friend, God bless you and your lovely family, too. What an adorable picture!
Just one thing - while I am no expert on tanka, I DO have the good fortune of notes provided by one poet I respect and admire greatly, and those I will share now, with you:
Tanka Described by Gloria
1. The haiku-like first three lines establish an EXTERNAL FOCUS often through the use of nature to set the tone and tenor for the tanka. The first two lines should be grammatically connected.
2. The last two lines serve to deliver EMOTIVE IMPACT to the reader. These lines should be grammatically connected.
3. The third line of the tanka must SERVE AS A SATORI on the first two lines AS WELL AS A PIVOT to begin the last two lines. It is this feature of tanka that most often fails in entries for FanStory tanka contests.
4. Tanka may not exceed 31 syllables but it may have less in short/long/short/long/long format.
5. Personification, metaphor, simile are permitted in tanka. Note wording here. This does not mean their presence is essential
6. Capitalisation and punctuation should be used only when necessary. i.e. proper nouns etc.
7. No end rhymes.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Oh, my friend, God bless you and your lovely family, too. What an adorable picture!
Just one thing - while I am no expert on tanka, I DO have the good fortune of notes provided by one poet I respect and admire greatly, and those I will share now, with you:
Tanka Described by Gloria
1. The haiku-like first three lines establish an EXTERNAL FOCUS often through the use of nature to set the tone and tenor for the tanka. The first two lines should be grammatically connected.
2. The last two lines serve to deliver EMOTIVE IMPACT to the reader. These lines should be grammatically connected.
3. The third line of the tanka must SERVE AS A SATORI on the first two lines AS WELL AS A PIVOT to begin the last two lines. It is this feature of tanka that most often fails in entries for FanStory tanka contests.
4. Tanka may not exceed 31 syllables but it may have less in short/long/short/long/long format.
5. Personification, metaphor, simile are permitted in tanka. Note wording here. This does not mean their presence is essential
6. Capitalisation and punctuation should be used only when necessary. i.e. proper nouns etc.
7. No end rhymes.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Thank you my friend for the great review and your help. love, Teri
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You're most welcome!
Comment from mermaids
He is a cutie and your words express well your joy over him. Grandchildren bring out the best in us and always deserve a poem. I like your line about him being full of life, so true.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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He is a cutie and your words express well your joy over him. Grandchildren bring out the best in us and always deserve a poem. I like your line about him being full of life, so true.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much my friend for the great review and lovely comments. It has been a hard week as Greyson with his mom and dad are in CA right now. We will be there starting Monday for 9 days. That is two weeks without my Greyson! Been rough! love, teri
Comment from D. K. Mamula
Children are such a blessing and your little Greyson is absolutely adorable! Your feelings for him are evident in your beautiful words. May you make many happy memories together! Thanks for sharing your work!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Children are such a blessing and your little Greyson is absolutely adorable! Your feelings for him are evident in your beautiful words. May you make many happy memories together! Thanks for sharing your work!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for the great review and very lovely and kind words. He is our only grandson. Blessings, Teri
Comment from kaymart
What a great picture! He looks so happy! I love children - the less-than-teens and then adults are my friends. TEENS are more difficult, but I try.
Anyway, his smiling face gives away how overjoyed he is. I'm sure he loved spending time with you. And maybe even posing for this picture! *smiles*
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2018
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What a great picture! He looks so happy! I love children - the less-than-teens and then adults are my friends. TEENS are more difficult, but I try.
Anyway, his smiling face gives away how overjoyed he is. I'm sure he loved spending time with you. And maybe even posing for this picture! *smiles*
Comment Written 07-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and comments. He is our four year old grandson that we keep Monday thru Friday most weeks. It is a true blessing, but is challenging some days too! lol love, teri
Comment from Sherman541
Greyson is very sweet. He has grown a lot in the last year you have been posting poems and pictures of him. He always seems to have a smile too. Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest !! Sarah
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Greyson is very sweet. He has grown a lot in the last year you have been posting poems and pictures of him. He always seems to have a smile too. Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest !! Sarah
Comment Written 07-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much my friend for the lovely review and very nice comments. He is my little buddy! He is growing way too fast! love you! Teri
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you are welcome and I love you too
Comment from l.raven
HI Teri, I had to laugh...he looks like every one you see today...he looks like he is holding a cell phone...LOL...he truly is getting older...and is sooooooo precious my wonderful sweet friend...you truly have been blessed by God...I love your poem you...and your picture is priceless...so very nicely written...love you lots...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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HI Teri, I had to laugh...he looks like every one you see today...he looks like he is holding a cell phone...LOL...he truly is getting older...and is sooooooo precious my wonderful sweet friend...you truly have been blessed by God...I love your poem you...and your picture is priceless...so very nicely written...love you lots...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much Linda for the great review and comments. His pap paw got him a cell phone. I think he is a bit young for that, but I am just a grandmother. lol love you! Teri
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that is ok...his pap paw got him that...they learn so fast today...just not to live on...my grandkids all have them as well...and you are so welcome sweet girl...have a wonderful day...love you much...will call soon...xxoo
Comment from royowen
We have two of our delightful grandkids until 7 every night, (both parents are working late) we have them for tea 4 nights, Monday to Thursday (they are delicious!) Dion (20moths) Indah 6 years). They are a delight. Greyson is growing up to be a handsome young man...praise God for them. Well done, beautifully written.Teri, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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We have two of our delightful grandkids until 7 every night, (both parents are working late) we have them for tea 4 nights, Monday to Thursday (they are delicious!) Dion (20moths) Indah 6 years). They are a delight. Greyson is growing up to be a handsome young man...praise God for them. Well done, beautifully written.Teri, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much Roy for the very nice review and comments. That is so nice that you have your grandchildren with you at those times. It is very special times. I would love to see more pictures of Dion and Indah. Blessings, Teri
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I have put a few on factory. Their dad's Indonesian, they are both gorgeous. Lovely natures, Praise God for all our dear ones.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Teri, what a sweet tanka about your lovely grandson. Lovely picture. Your tanka reads well. Just one little tip - the rule is 5/7/5/7/7. Your last line has only 5 syllables. Lengthen this line easily - a very worthy poem. Good Luck. Love Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Hi Teri, what a sweet tanka about your lovely grandson. Lovely picture. Your tanka reads well. Just one little tip - the rule is 5/7/5/7/7. Your last line has only 5 syllables. Lengthen this line easily - a very worthy poem. Good Luck. Love Dorothy xx
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much my friend for the very nice review, comments and help. I did go back and fixed it! love, Teri
Comment from CD Richards
He still has a little bit of growing to do, Teri. By the sound of it, he will have lots of good help with that. A lovely poem, and I believe the syllable count is spot on. Well done. Craig
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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He still has a little bit of growing to do, Teri. By the sound of it, he will have lots of good help with that. A lovely poem, and I believe the syllable count is spot on. Well done. Craig
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you Craig for the very nice review and comments! He is a very sweet and smart young little man~ Blessings, Teri
