Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Unhappy medium"Fiction and non-fiction prose
11 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Congratulations on winning the contest, Craig. I must admit reading the story through twice to get the gist of what the boomer was. I even read other reviews to see if there was a clue there and found it was a kangaroo. That aside, the action never stops in this piece. The name Gavantha was a nice touch. Marilyn
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Congratulations on winning the contest, Craig. I must admit reading the story through twice to get the gist of what the boomer was. I even read other reviews to see if there was a clue there and found it was a kangaroo. That aside, the action never stops in this piece. The name Gavantha was a nice touch. Marilyn
Comment Written 11-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Thanks very much, Marilyn. I suppose an author note might have been helpful, as a lot of people outside these shores wouldn't know what a "boomer" is. Kind comments much appreciated. Craig
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You're gonna laugh. The only boomer I know of is a thunderclap and at first I thought there was a big storm. Put 2+2 together and that didn't make sense, so concluded it must be a kangaroo. It seems kangaroo are like America's deer. Always have to be on the lookout for them running across the road when driving.
Comment from tfawcus
I knew that I was going to enjoy this as soon as I set eyes upon the supercalifragilistic aunt with halitosis! Very good! ...as was you description of the outback crash, with the graphic details of smashed wing mirror, trashed ant heap, etc. I once hit a roo in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. The skid marks on the road weren't the only ones. Great dialogue between the newlyweds helped to make this a most entertaining read! You get my vote, and that's for sure.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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I knew that I was going to enjoy this as soon as I set eyes upon the supercalifragilistic aunt with halitosis! Very good! ...as was you description of the outback crash, with the graphic details of smashed wing mirror, trashed ant heap, etc. I once hit a roo in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. The skid marks on the road weren't the only ones. Great dialogue between the newlyweds helped to make this a most entertaining read! You get my vote, and that's for sure.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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LOL @ skid marks - I can well imagine, Tony. Many thanks for the wonderful rating, the delightful comments, and the vote! All are very greatly appreciated.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This was just marvelous! I really, really liked it. The subtle nuances were so clever. It's a winner, as far as I'm concerned!! And I don't mean for this contest only. I'm wondering how many words this piece has...?
If it's 750 words or less -- or if you can get it to 750 words or less, I would strongly encourage you to submit it to Wow Women on Writing's Quarterly Flash Fiction Contest. I think the newest one just started on June 1st - so you would be one of the first ones in - which is best, because all the rest of the stories would have to measure up to yours. (You always want to be one of the first.)
Go HERE to check it out:
http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/contest.php
Good luck in both!
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This was just marvelous! I really, really liked it. The subtle nuances were so clever. It's a winner, as far as I'm concerned!! And I don't mean for this contest only. I'm wondering how many words this piece has...?
If it's 750 words or less -- or if you can get it to 750 words or less, I would strongly encourage you to submit it to Wow Women on Writing's Quarterly Flash Fiction Contest. I think the newest one just started on June 1st - so you would be one of the first ones in - which is best, because all the rest of the stories would have to measure up to yours. (You always want to be one of the first.)
Go HERE to check it out:
http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/contest.php
Good luck in both!
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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I'm so grateful, Robyn, for the wonderful comments about my story. It's most satisfying to receive such lovely feedback (and the wonderful shiny stars don't hurt, either).
As it appears, it's 1330 words, so that would be a fair bit of pruning. I also suspect it might not qualify for another reason, and checking out a few of the entries on the link you kindly provided seems to back the theory up. The site itself looks fantastic - what a great idea.
Again, many many thanks.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Object of Desire writing prompt.
Your short story is dramatic, intriguing, and well told.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Object of Desire writing prompt.
Your short story is dramatic, intriguing, and well told.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 03-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
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Thanks very much for the kind words and the good wishes, Sharon. Most appreciated.
Comment from Bill Schott
Such a good story, and just a bit of sadness for "Gavantha" as the irony is completed with the remembrance of the can opener. We are reminded that Aunt Iris is a "septuagenarian psychic medium" and most likely sent the device to change the outcome of the accident she apparently saw happening. I didn't divine that immediately, but it all gelled on the second reading. Neat story.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Such a good story, and just a bit of sadness for "Gavantha" as the irony is completed with the remembrance of the can opener. We are reminded that Aunt Iris is a "septuagenarian psychic medium" and most likely sent the device to change the outcome of the accident she apparently saw happening. I didn't divine that immediately, but it all gelled on the second reading. Neat story.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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You are spot on with your reading of the events, Bill. Thanks very much for the fantastic comments, and the most generous rating. Very much appreciated.
Comment from HaleyBel
Well, I couldn't stop reading, it gripped me. The story was captivating with the twist at the end. The tin opener was certainly an object of need. Your description was excellent and the change in font for thoughts was helpful. Good Luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Well, I couldn't stop reading, it gripped me. The story was captivating with the twist at the end. The tin opener was certainly an object of need. Your description was excellent and the change in font for thoughts was helpful. Good Luck in the competition.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Many thanks for the lovely comments and good wishes, HaleyBel, they're much appreciated.
Comment from Gloria ....
Terrific story, author. You captured the motions of the accident, and the playful banter between the happy couple with realistic precision. I guess that happy medium is keep the can opener cause you just never know.
Excellent writing and best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Terrific story, author. You captured the motions of the accident, and the playful banter between the happy couple with realistic precision. I guess that happy medium is keep the can opener cause you just never know.
Excellent writing and best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Thanks very much for the kind remarks, Gloria, and for the good wishes as well. If it was MacGyver, I'll bet he could have got out.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello
This story held me spellbound wondering where it will take me. The dirt track bouncing and drifting in and out of the rough country to be hit by a huge kangaroo? What tough luck and a short honeymoon. Great story wishing she had not thrown away the can opener.
Best wishes,
Sylvia
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Hello
This story held me spellbound wondering where it will take me. The dirt track bouncing and drifting in and out of the rough country to be hit by a huge kangaroo? What tough luck and a short honeymoon. Great story wishing she had not thrown away the can opener.
Best wishes,
Sylvia
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Many thanks, Sylvia, for the lovely comments, and the wonderful rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the story :)
Comment from giraffmang
very nice job with your chosen implement, CD. It's amazing how useful they can be...lol
The wrapping around the medium was very effective. Good to stand a great chance in the booths.
The accident is shocking, unexpected and explosive. I like...lol
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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very nice job with your chosen implement, CD. It's amazing how useful they can be...lol
The wrapping around the medium was very effective. Good to stand a great chance in the booths.
The accident is shocking, unexpected and explosive. I like...lol
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Many thanks for the great comments, G. I see I'm not the only one who appears to have left it to the last minute with this - hope there is a rush in the next few hours!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This has enough mystery and the unknown to keep the reader drawn in. You dialogue is handled well. There is never a question as to who is speaking. Your characters are consistent to their roles. Very stark imagery. The ending gave me goosebumps...It all comes together...the can opener ...Throwing that our was a foreshadowing. In a movie, there would have a stoke of a musical chord. Well written.
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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This has enough mystery and the unknown to keep the reader drawn in. You dialogue is handled well. There is never a question as to who is speaking. Your characters are consistent to their roles. Very stark imagery. The ending gave me goosebumps...It all comes together...the can opener ...Throwing that our was a foreshadowing. In a movie, there would have a stoke of a musical chord. Well written.
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Thank you very much for the wonderful rating and the lovely comments, Liz. I think the spooky chord is a great idea - might have to look at embedding a sound clip in the next one :) I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
