Sins of Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Reunited At Last "A Novel of the Breedline series
6 total reviews
Comment from ngage
Ms. Shana, you amaze me with each chapter. The time and passion you put into creating a new character is over the top. You bring them to life.
You are superb with the way you weave in and out of each scene, keeping the reader excited and hungry for more.
You've definitely hooked me into this fantasy world!
Nate
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Ms. Shana, you amaze me with each chapter. The time and passion you put into creating a new character is over the top. You bring them to life.
You are superb with the way you weave in and out of each scene, keeping the reader excited and hungry for more.
You've definitely hooked me into this fantasy world!
Nate
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you my dear friend :)
Your review made me jump for joy! As always, you are too kind. I adore you!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from apky
A fabulous and fast moving chapter, my friend. My eyes raced over the words from scene to scene, voraciously taking in the story that unfolded like fine tapestry woven by the most skilled artist. Absolutely breathtaking. You know your way around this genre and you certainly can tell the story with vivid descriptions for each situation, creating great atmosphere.
Always brilliant.
When he slumped(I would change this to "settled" because "slumped" implies too casual an atmosphere for the seriousness of what they're about to discuss. But it's up to you, of course) into it, he placed his cell phone on the table in front of him.
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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A fabulous and fast moving chapter, my friend. My eyes raced over the words from scene to scene, voraciously taking in the story that unfolded like fine tapestry woven by the most skilled artist. Absolutely breathtaking. You know your way around this genre and you certainly can tell the story with vivid descriptions for each situation, creating great atmosphere.
Always brilliant.
When he slumped(I would change this to "settled" because "slumped" implies too casual an atmosphere for the seriousness of what they're about to discuss. But it's up to you, of course) into it, he placed his cell phone on the table in front of him.
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you my talented friend :)
As always, your feedback is appreciated and valued. It's so great to hear what you have to say. And your advice means so much!
I have enjoyed reading your captivating story ... and have been blessed to get to know you. Your opinion means a great deal to me. Thanks for dedicating your time.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from Mistydawn
This was a very interesting chapter, kept my attention start to finish. It's well-written, has smooth natural dialogue. The characters seem real. So glad Abbey and Steve are together again and Steve found his family.
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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This was a very interesting chapter, kept my attention start to finish. It's well-written, has smooth natural dialogue. The characters seem real. So glad Abbey and Steve are together again and Steve found his family.
Comment Written 29-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you Mistydawn :)
I enjoy hearing feedback from you. Your kind words are encouraging and helpful. It's nice to hear you felt the characters are real. That's what I want the reader to feel. Thanks for taking the time to read my chapter.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, good dialogue between Steven and Tim in this chapter and it's good that Steven finds his family. I especially like some of your descriptive writing:
Steven slid an arm around Abbey's shoulders, pulling her into his side, and brushed a kiss over her brow. He lost the battle, and broken sobs welled in his throat.
Nicely written. I saw no errors and this is a good story you have here, and I'm always impressed with your author notes, just epic. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Hello, good dialogue between Steven and Tim in this chapter and it's good that Steven finds his family. I especially like some of your descriptive writing:
Steven slid an arm around Abbey's shoulders, pulling her into his side, and brushed a kiss over her brow. He lost the battle, and broken sobs welled in his throat.
Nicely written. I saw no errors and this is a good story you have here, and I'm always impressed with your author notes, just epic. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 29-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you, Ana :)
I always love to hear from you. Your feedback really inspires me. Thanks for taking the time to read my chapters and put a skip in my step. You're awesome!
Sincerely,
Shana
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have just enough need for concern and suspense to keep the reader with you. Your characters stay in their prescribed roles. Also your dialogue is consistent and clear. There is no question as to who is speaking. Your characters' actions have follow- through. You've done some good homework. You are very well versed in all of the issues brought to light here. You have some very effective alliteration. You ending will draw the reader in to want to read the next chapter. You are developing a substantial story.
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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You have just enough need for concern and suspense to keep the reader with you. Your characters stay in their prescribed roles. Also your dialogue is consistent and clear. There is no question as to who is speaking. Your characters' actions have follow- through. You've done some good homework. You are very well versed in all of the issues brought to light here. You have some very effective alliteration. You ending will draw the reader in to want to read the next chapter. You are developing a substantial story.
Comment Written 29-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thanks, Liz :)
Your feedback is very encouraging. It's so good to hear positive words. If I can keep the reader captivated all the way to the end... I'm thrilled. Hope to hear back from you.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
You always amaze me with your imaginative and creative ability to introduce new characters, even with unique new skills, which, in affect, is true of all beings, some gifts may be harder to find, but I believe uniqueness is part of humankind and indeed, everything in creation, even villians, in whom God is still invested in, and especially you, dear girl, how's Carl? Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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You always amaze me with your imaginative and creative ability to introduce new characters, even with unique new skills, which, in affect, is true of all beings, some gifts may be harder to find, but I believe uniqueness is part of humankind and indeed, everything in creation, even villians, in whom God is still invested in, and especially you, dear girl, how's Carl? Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 29-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Roy... you're the best! Not only do your inspire me with your wonderful poems, you give me hope that some day my story will succeed. It's important that I can entertain readers with my creation. It gives me hope and purpose. Thanks for your support my dear friend.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
BTW... Carl is doing much better. God is healing.
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He's a good God
