Calin's Redemption
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Calin's Redemption"An illegitimate son of a former President emerges.
8 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
bizarrely I seem to have read the subsequent chapter first. This was a good read and is easily followed. nice characterisation and setting up of the plot.
He announced his task was straight forward - straightforward could be a single word here.
She recognised the names of the three drugs listed on the glass vial she later extracted from the bedroom waste basket - this would have been incredibly sloppy on the physician's part to discard it in this manner.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Hi there,
bizarrely I seem to have read the subsequent chapter first. This was a good read and is easily followed. nice characterisation and setting up of the plot.
He announced his task was straight forward - straightforward could be a single word here.
She recognised the names of the three drugs listed on the glass vial she later extracted from the bedroom waste basket - this would have been incredibly sloppy on the physician's part to discard it in this manner.
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thank you for your kind words. I'm just about to post the next instalment. After you review, along with another one of part two, I spent today rewriting it taking your suggestions into account. It added around 600 words but it made it a much better read. I really appreciate constructive advice, and yours is just that
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no problem. I enjoy the reviewing process. It does help with identifying things in your own work too. All the best G
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh, I guess I should have read this part first. Now I know all the things I was wondering about. He is the Presidents son and they want to kill him to cover it up, however the Pres has been dead a long time so why now? and who? So there is still much mystery. Very well done, enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Oh, I guess I should have read this part first. Now I know all the things I was wondering about. He is the Presidents son and they want to kill him to cover it up, however the Pres has been dead a long time so why now? and who? So there is still much mystery. Very well done, enjoyed it.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Thank you again Roxanna. Your response has made my day.
Comment from royowen
I see you've brought it to Fanstory. This would have been the conspiracy to end all conspiracy's. I don't understand why thiis would be rejected by the publisher, it's pretty good my friend. This backs up all those rumours all those years ago, who does the baby become? I Remember Veronica from a previous series you wrote, excellent series. Well don Bob. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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I see you've brought it to Fanstory. This would have been the conspiracy to end all conspiracy's. I don't understand why thiis would be rejected by the publisher, it's pretty good my friend. This backs up all those rumours all those years ago, who does the baby become? I Remember Veronica from a previous series you wrote, excellent series. Well don Bob. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Fiction allows the writer to become a conspiracy creator. But this is no conspiracy it's pure fiction, the product of an author's imagination. Thank you for the generous praise, encouragement like yours more than makes up for the rejections from agents
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But it's a fascinating theory all the same. People would project into truth, which wouldn't matter, it's passed into history anyway, but people like to dwell, even in our church conspiracy theories abound, which is silly speculation anyway. Well done Bob, Callin was also a great British spy series involving a flawed spy called Calllin. Roy
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is one of the big mysteries that has remained unsolved since the Kennedy Regime in the sixties. I doubt the public will ever discover the truth. I would like to know the truth and also about the UFO and Alien truth. LOL Maybe we will know after we die. Interesting story, well thought out. Nancy
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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This is one of the big mysteries that has remained unsolved since the Kennedy Regime in the sixties. I doubt the public will ever discover the truth. I would like to know the truth and also about the UFO and Alien truth. LOL Maybe we will know after we die. Interesting story, well thought out. Nancy
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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This is no mystery, unlike the aliens and the UFO's my writing is pure fiction. This is just the opening chapter, written purely as an attention grabber. Hope you keep reading.
Comment from Debbie Pope
I was too engrossed in your story to criticize. Before I saw your line about your manuscript, I was convinced that this needs to be expanded into a novel. Political intrigue, history, Hollywood. These are the trappings of a bestseller. And you can write. I am friending you so that I don't miss a chapter. I am excited to read them.
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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I was too engrossed in your story to criticize. Before I saw your line about your manuscript, I was convinced that this needs to be expanded into a novel. Political intrigue, history, Hollywood. These are the trappings of a bestseller. And you can write. I am friending you so that I don't miss a chapter. I am excited to read them.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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After a series of rejections from agents I was in need of an ego massage and you Debbie have provided that much needed lift. Thank you for your generous comments of support. I hope the rest of the story holds your interest.
Comment from apky
Poor Veronica. It must be horrible to know such a criminal secret. But she did find a partner in Richard. This is a wonderful chapter and a great read, especially owing to the subject matter.
The story is engaging and instructive, the characters developed superbly with your amazing skill with words and style, combined with the subject matter you address.
I for my part was captivated and would continue to read.
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Poor Veronica. It must be horrible to know such a criminal secret. But she did find a partner in Richard. This is a wonderful chapter and a great read, especially owing to the subject matter.
The story is engaging and instructive, the characters developed superbly with your amazing skill with words and style, combined with the subject matter you address.
I for my part was captivated and would continue to read.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing Calin's Redemption and then writing such complimentary remarks. You really don't know how close I was to giving up writing after around twenty Agent rejections. My faith in my writing is restored at least tmporarily
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Don't worry your creative head about agents - to me they are leeches/parasires who think they're the host animal. What would they do without writers? I'd encourage to keep writing. If all else fail with a trad publisher, there are other ways to get your work into print, right.
Comment from Cass Carlton
Very interesting. Very close to the truth in many aspects, but I would suggest a note of caution in your follow up of historical facts. Nobody really knows who shot President Kennnedy or for that matter why. There were stories they shouted loudly to drown out the quiet voices of those who saw things differently, but anyone with half a working brain can see they are just smoke and mirrors. Be careful what your book says. It could easily be buried in a half a dozen ways. However, good luck and
my very best wishes in your venture. cheers Cass
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Very interesting. Very close to the truth in many aspects, but I would suggest a note of caution in your follow up of historical facts. Nobody really knows who shot President Kennnedy or for that matter why. There were stories they shouted loudly to drown out the quiet voices of those who saw things differently, but anyone with half a working brain can see they are just smoke and mirrors. Be careful what your book says. It could easily be buried in a half a dozen ways. However, good luck and
my very best wishes in your venture. cheers Cass
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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My story goes nowhere near the assassination, in fact it deals with events fifty years after President's Kennedys death as you will see in the following chapters.
Thank you so much for the six stars. I hope you read on and enjoy my story. Actually it's real title is JFK's Other Son.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Are you starting another book? You are a prolific writer and your style is easy on the eye. I didn't notice any errors, and what a wicked web we weave, so the premise of the story looks very promising. It is hard to do the right thing sometimes, and I liked the way she said 'we are the good guys here'.
Best of luck with your manuscript, which I hope to read more of, and thanks for sharing it. Ana.
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Are you starting another book? You are a prolific writer and your style is easy on the eye. I didn't notice any errors, and what a wicked web we weave, so the premise of the story looks very promising. It is hard to do the right thing sometimes, and I liked the way she said 'we are the good guys here'.
Best of luck with your manuscript, which I hope to read more of, and thanks for sharing it. Ana.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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This is the manuscript I've been submitting to agents these past couple of months. I've had one request for a full read, later rejected along with a host of rejections. Every now and then, now being one of those occasions, the rejections get the better of me and I cast the submission process aside for a month and start writing poetry. I'm in one of the slumps now. I believe this book is the one but my confidence has taken a battering with around twenty rejections.
Thank you for reading and offering such a positive and encouraging comment
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Don't be too discouraged Bob, Steven King had hundreds of rejections, so I'm hoping with you that this is the one. Have you ever thought about going down another route, like bypassing book and working for TV or film, because it is cheaper and I could put you in contact with someone that will help with the process. They give it a strategic assessment and help you every step of the way. Just a thought, Ana.
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I would love that. The novel I had published, The Ultimate Betrayal was actually being looked at by a fellow writer, John Fingleton who is now sadly deceased with a view of writing a film script. His brother worked on the screenplay for the film about their father Swimming Upstream. John's cancer ended those plans. He said my writing would be easily adapted to film. So I'd be most interested in any help you could provide.
