Horror is my goal
A horror story.23 total reviews
Comment from Michael Steinert
Well that was certainly horrorific and unsettling. Great job. I really loved the description of the creatures particularly this:
A terrible howling sound from an open black hole where the face should have been.
Great work!
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Well that was certainly horrorific and unsettling. Great job. I really loved the description of the creatures particularly this:
A terrible howling sound from an open black hole where the face should have been.
Great work!
Comment Written 27-May-2018
Comment from JDRBAR
Definitely a horror story, and a gruesome one at that. However, there needs to be some editing and rewording in parts to prevent confusion. Good luck with this.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Definitely a horror story, and a gruesome one at that. However, there needs to be some editing and rewording in parts to prevent confusion. Good luck with this.
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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thanks for your review, Ine. have a nice week.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, you build the tension very well in this horror story and the ending is ghastly. I wonder what gave you the idea for this? Your work is easy to read and I noticed no errors, punctuation, grammar and spelling all looked enviably good. I don't have any suggestions for improving your story, which was pretty scary to read adn review, Ana.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Hello, you build the tension very well in this horror story and the ending is ghastly. I wonder what gave you the idea for this? Your work is easy to read and I noticed no errors, punctuation, grammar and spelling all looked enviably good. I don't have any suggestions for improving your story, which was pretty scary to read adn review, Ana.
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and very hot Sunday.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I saw this and said to myself, 'What!?! Ine has written a horror story? I just gotta sink my teeth and claws into this!"
So...here I am
Now, let's see what you brought to the table of my beloved genre...
Fear has not caught me so this should be a normal experience. Ican not cannot remember what I did before and or how I end(ed) up here. The darkness is departing early lights and the moon is released retreating behind the clouds. ... It seems you've forgotten a word in your opening, Ine. In addition, "cannot" is one word...
A cold wind is blowing through the fog.(**you need a full stop here**) I shiver again, this time from the cold. Only now I notice that I have only a t-shirt andpyjama pajama pants. ... Could use a bit of editing here...
The cold I do not feel(**need a full stop here**) However, the stress is palpable and I feel the fear. ...Also could benefit from a good bit of editing...
At the bedroom dooris screaming my son of three is screaming and crying. ... The reverse syntax has this sentence a bit...jumbled, Ine.
All in all, an admirable effort.
~Dean
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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I saw this and said to myself, 'What!?! Ine has written a horror story? I just gotta sink my teeth and claws into this!"
So...here I am
Now, let's see what you brought to the table of my beloved genre...
Fear has not caught me so this should be a normal experience. I
A cold wind is blowing through the fog.(**you need a full stop here**) I shiver again, this time from the cold. Only now I notice that I have only a t-shirt and
The cold I do not feel(**need a full stop here**) However, the stress is palpable and I feel the fear. ...Also could benefit from a good bit of editing...
At the bedroom door
All in all, an admirable effort.
~Dean
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and very hot Sunday.
Comment from Artasylum
This is a fun horror story. Thanks so much and enjoyed reading yours, diana
I do not know how long the voice had been silenced by the time I finally stopped beating. In my mind, I can hear children crying. I look at my fists and see bloody shacks. For me, it is a completely smashed bloodied face. The thought of one of the creatures have been able to hold makes me forget my fear. After a time the child cries penetrates finally clear to me and I look up.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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This is a fun horror story. Thanks so much and enjoyed reading yours, diana
I do not know how long the voice had been silenced by the time I finally stopped beating. In my mind, I can hear children crying. I look at my fists and see bloody shacks. For me, it is a completely smashed bloodied face. The thought of one of the creatures have been able to hold makes me forget my fear. After a time the child cries penetrates finally clear to me and I look up.
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and very hot Sunday.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
That is pretty horrifying. I hope that dying isn't as frightening as this but we will never know until our time comes. All we can do is write good and bad stuff about it. One day we will know.
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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That is pretty horrifying. I hope that dying isn't as frightening as this but we will never know until our time comes. All we can do is write good and bad stuff about it. One day we will know.
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and very hot Sunday.
Comment from l.raven
HI Ine, very well written sweet girl...I find
your story very interesting...very well told...and your picture...EEEEKKKKK....LOL...well done you...love you ...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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HI Ine, very well written sweet girl...I find
your story very interesting...very well told...and your picture...EEEEKKKKK....LOL...well done you...love you ...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and very hot Sunday.
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yes I well...and you have a very hot Sunday as well...LOL...love to you...xxoo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Interesting story. There are some major flaws in it.
Where am I and how did I get here. (needs a question mark, you're asking a question)
Besides the howl of the wolf which has started and does not seem to finish more, but I hear nothing. (startled??? and ... the rest of this sentence does not make sense.)
The bedroom door is screaming my son of three and crying (how can a bedroom door scream?)
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Interesting story. There are some major flaws in it.
Where am I and how did I get here. (needs a question mark, you're asking a question)
Besides the howl of the wolf which has started and does not seem to finish more, but I hear nothing. (startled??? and ... the rest of this sentence does not make sense.)
The bedroom door is screaming my son of three and crying (how can a bedroom door scream?)
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely weekend.
Comment from RGstar
All good on you for writing this full horror story. Yes, some punctuation changes needed---syntax or word order. Yet, I am not going to dissect this, as I can see the great effort behind , and I read with your vision as with the story you wish to portray.
Well done, and good luck with the next one.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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All good on you for writing this full horror story. Yes, some punctuation changes needed---syntax or word order. Yet, I am not going to dissect this, as I can see the great effort behind , and I read with your vision as with the story you wish to portray.
Well done, and good luck with the next one.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely weekend.
Comment from ciliverde
This is so interesting. Since I'm not familiar with your work, at first I thought it felt like it was written by someone for whom English wasn't a first language - then it came to me that it felt like the person writing was unhinged - excellent!
"Fear not caught me so this should be a normal experience."
It caught me off guard, but then reading through a second and third time, I thought it was perfect. This is the kind of horror story that I like - so much implied and nothing explicit said until the very end and you realize the horrible thing this man has done.
I'd give you a six if I had one. Bravo!
Carol
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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This is so interesting. Since I'm not familiar with your work, at first I thought it felt like it was written by someone for whom English wasn't a first language - then it came to me that it felt like the person writing was unhinged - excellent!
"Fear not caught me so this should be a normal experience."
It caught me off guard, but then reading through a second and third time, I thought it was perfect. This is the kind of horror story that I like - so much implied and nothing explicit said until the very end and you realize the horrible thing this man has done.
I'd give you a six if I had one. Bravo!
Carol
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 25-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and warm weekend.
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and warm weekend.
