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Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Into the Wind"contemporary poetry
11 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
Great imagery in this beautifully written poem. It talks about feeling free, letting go and letting your sprirt roam free. Who wouldn't like to experience that?Through your lovely poem, the reader was able to.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Great imagery in this beautifully written poem. It talks about feeling free, letting go and letting your sprirt roam free. Who wouldn't like to experience that?Through your lovely poem, the reader was able to.
Comment Written 21-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks for the excellent review, and your wonderful comments supporting this poem; glad you enjoyed it picking you off of your feet and carrying you away estory
Comment from Air Spirit
I absolutely loved your poem... it was so delightfully airy, free and the words truly seemed to glide and float across the page... having adopted the pen name of Air Spirit, I think you can see why I fell in love with your poem... I have such an affinity for the air -- for exactly the reasons you enumerate... freedom of spirit, hope, a sense of unencumbered selflessness... I also love all of the alliteration, as that is one of my favorite poetic tools that render effective imagery and help develop a almost musical flow to the poem... My favorite stanza of the poem is the first one, because I think it captures the essence of the poem "...As I let go of myself,
Empty of the sleeves of shirts,
Empty of shoes, leaving
Places I have been,
Dust of earth,
Frames of photographs
Falling back down to the ground ... -- it reminds me somewhat of a poem I wrote called Death Wish, which is wanting to have my remains set free from an Austrian Mountaintop to "communion with my friend, Wind..." Thank you for this delightful journey and trip to freedom within and without..
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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I absolutely loved your poem... it was so delightfully airy, free and the words truly seemed to glide and float across the page... having adopted the pen name of Air Spirit, I think you can see why I fell in love with your poem... I have such an affinity for the air -- for exactly the reasons you enumerate... freedom of spirit, hope, a sense of unencumbered selflessness... I also love all of the alliteration, as that is one of my favorite poetic tools that render effective imagery and help develop a almost musical flow to the poem... My favorite stanza of the poem is the first one, because I think it captures the essence of the poem "...As I let go of myself,
Empty of the sleeves of shirts,
Empty of shoes, leaving
Places I have been,
Dust of earth,
Frames of photographs
Falling back down to the ground ... -- it reminds me somewhat of a poem I wrote called Death Wish, which is wanting to have my remains set free from an Austrian Mountaintop to "communion with my friend, Wind..." Thank you for this delightful journey and trip to freedom within and without..
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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thanks again so much for the exceptional support, it is much appreciated, and I hope to read some of yours on the site. Glad you enjoyed it estory
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, this is nice, some lovely poetic moments, and I think it achieves what you are trying to do. I do have a suggestion for improvement and that would be to either get rid of punctuation or be consistent in your use of it. Some sentences have commas, others don't, that type of thing, but it's not that important in poetry compared to prose, but it reads more smoothly if done well in poetry. Thanks for sharing your poem, cheers, Ana.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Hello, this is nice, some lovely poetic moments, and I think it achieves what you are trying to do. I do have a suggestion for improvement and that would be to either get rid of punctuation or be consistent in your use of it. Some sentences have commas, others don't, that type of thing, but it's not that important in poetry compared to prose, but it reads more smoothly if done well in poetry. Thanks for sharing your poem, cheers, Ana.
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments and suggestions. The punctuations really serve as musical notations, shepherding along the flow in a musical sense, of how I would like this to be read, but I will take another look at it and make changes at some point. I'm always editing and changing things; never happy with them. estory
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Are writers every happy, and do you ever finish editing? I don't think so, and every now and then I have a conniption over the editing process, LOL, have a great day, Ana.
Comment from Ulla
Hi estory. I loved this free verse poem, and I really enjoyed reading it. Now, here's the point, I don't know the first thing about poetry. But I love to read it, and I grade it from what joy it gives me. In other words, did I like it, did the words mean anything to me. Alliteration, rhythm and imagery is all part of it. And Iliked yours. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Hi estory. I loved this free verse poem, and I really enjoyed reading it. Now, here's the point, I don't know the first thing about poetry. But I love to read it, and I grade it from what joy it gives me. In other words, did I like it, did the words mean anything to me. Alliteration, rhythm and imagery is all part of it. And Iliked yours. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments validating the construction of the poem. Glad you enjoyed it and found that it worked. I appreciate the support. estory
Comment from Jocelyn M. Campbell :)
This poem is the call to anyone whose soul element is associated with air. It gives a brief context on how the poet feels when giving him/herself up to the air, or that may be the Lord in the wind element. You are an absolute wordsmith, and I would like for you to, as Marvin Calloway once said to me, break a letter!
-Jocelyn M. Campbell :)
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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This poem is the call to anyone whose soul element is associated with air. It gives a brief context on how the poet feels when giving him/herself up to the air, or that may be the Lord in the wind element. You are an absolute wordsmith, and I would like for you to, as Marvin Calloway once said to me, break a letter!
-Jocelyn M. Campbell :)
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I appreciate it and I am glad you enjoyed it so much. estory
Comment from royowen
Yes I think you've done an excellent job of freeing up the soul, by divesting yourself of the encumbering affect of clothing, the limiting factor that comes with the physical. Great descriptive scribing, imaginative in creative objectivity imagery, such as a leaf on the wind, I guess the only factor od limitation is a leaf can only go where the whim of the wind sends it, but well done, an excellent free with some strategic rhyme, well done, done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Yes I think you've done an excellent job of freeing up the soul, by divesting yourself of the encumbering affect of clothing, the limiting factor that comes with the physical. Great descriptive scribing, imaginative in creative objectivity imagery, such as a leaf on the wind, I guess the only factor od limitation is a leaf can only go where the whim of the wind sends it, but well done, an excellent free with some strategic rhyme, well done, done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your comments and suggestions supporting this poem, I am glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the support estory
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Good job
Comment from Sarah B Sullivan
Hi. I really like the rhythm of this, the pauses feel right on.
Empty of the sleeves of shirts (and shoes) is so unique and hits home, and then it occurs to me how weird it is, because actually, would it be more the shirt sleeves and shoes that are empty? It seems like you meant that.
Your second stanza starts with "As I...," and then there is no conclusion to that sentence--with a twist of grammar there could be. As I do ___, I ____.
I love the last stanza's sound, rhyme, and the characterizations of the wind and the air.
I look forward to reading more!
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Hi. I really like the rhythm of this, the pauses feel right on.
Empty of the sleeves of shirts (and shoes) is so unique and hits home, and then it occurs to me how weird it is, because actually, would it be more the shirt sleeves and shoes that are empty? It seems like you meant that.
Your second stanza starts with "As I...," and then there is no conclusion to that sentence--with a twist of grammar there could be. As I do ___, I ____.
I love the last stanza's sound, rhyme, and the characterizations of the wind and the air.
I look forward to reading more!
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your comments supporting the poem and your suggestions. I was striving for the feeling of letting go of the physical things, the places and objects that distract from the spiritual experience of life, so that's the reason I wrote it that way. I wanted to turn things inside out, leave them behind, and take flight. estory
Comment from rama devi
This made me feel like I was soaring through a serene sky! Lovely. Highly original and well voiced.
NOTES:
Superb imagery (unique):
Frames of photographs
Falling back down to the ground
And rising into clarities, SUGGEST: clarity
Love the phonetic resonance of the clarity and crystalline.
LOVE THIS STANZA and SIMILE:
Unembodied,
In the light itself,
A leaf letting go of summer
And the seasons of lives,
Pitch perfect closing note:
Discovering fancy and flight
In the wind's imaginations,
In the air's light
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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This made me feel like I was soaring through a serene sky! Lovely. Highly original and well voiced.
NOTES:
Superb imagery (unique):
Frames of photographs
Falling back down to the ground
And rising into clarities, SUGGEST: clarity
Love the phonetic resonance of the clarity and crystalline.
LOVE THIS STANZA and SIMILE:
Unembodied,
In the light itself,
A leaf letting go of summer
And the seasons of lives,
Pitch perfect closing note:
Discovering fancy and flight
In the wind's imaginations,
In the air's light
Love,
rd
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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THanks again, my dear friend, for all your support, time and time again, and it so satisfying to have you enjoy the poetry so much. Hope to read some of yours soon! Write on! estory
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:-))))
Comment from kiwijenny
And rising into clarities...so cool and free.
I like the word choices; unembodied, crystalline ..empty of shoes..
Well,penned . I would be wind if I could be ..
Thanks well penned poem.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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And rising into clarities...so cool and free.
I like the word choices; unembodied, crystalline ..empty of shoes..
Well,penned . I would be wind if I could be ..
Thanks well penned poem.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your comments supporting this piece, I am glad you enjoyed it so much. estory
Comment from apky
I experience an emotional lilt in your poem which could be what you explain in your notes as lifting off while weights drop.
Since I'm not really knowledgeable about the techniques of poetry, I can only talk about the feelings a poem evokes in me. So I'm afraid I don't have the expertise to review your poem in a structurally helpful way. But I hope knowing I enjoyed it is just as good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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I experience an emotional lilt in your poem which could be what you explain in your notes as lifting off while weights drop.
Since I'm not really knowledgeable about the techniques of poetry, I can only talk about the feelings a poem evokes in me. So I'm afraid I don't have the expertise to review your poem in a structurally helpful way. But I hope knowing I enjoyed it is just as good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments supporting the poem. I appreciate it, but the piece I really wanted you to read was Kids; now its probably only got a 2 cent promo on it. But I am glad you liked the poem. The next prose piece coming out will be Broken Christmas Ornaments. estory
