Reviews from

The Lady With the Lamp

A fictional account of a war-time nurse

11 total reviews 
Comment from nancyjam
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Although it is a sad story, I enjoyed reading your poem.
Perhaps it is based on a real nurse, but no matter, I'm
sure there were many who cared for the soldiers and
some died in the process. Another example of the
sorrow of war.
Thanks for sharing.
Nancy

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    I totally agree with your comment. War is such a waste. Can you imagine how good this world would be if all the monies that have been spent over all the wars we've seen would have been invested in fighting disease and famines instead.
    Thank you for reviewing The Lady and the Lamp.
Comment from royowen
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For a minute I thought you had written a biographical account of an actual person. Of course the original was Florence Nightingale. (What a wonderful name!) well done Bob, I think you've done a wonderful job with this, and you've created a good work that resonates. Written aabb quatrains, articulate and creative, well done, and good to hear from you. Well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you, Roy. This poem came about in a strange way. I woke up with the opening two lines of this poem bouncing around in my mind. A couple of hours later I had four verses. I always appreciate your comments.
    If I may, I'd like to ask a favour. About four days ago I posted a piece titled The Swollen Creek Regatta. It attracted around ten reviews, all good but to me something about the work is still off. I was hoping you could look at it and hopefully see what's troubling me. Thank you again.
reply by royowen on 20-May-2018
    OK BOB,
Comment from nancy_e_davis
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Heart retching story about a selfless young lady who put her life in danger to bring comfort to the wounded and dying in her care up to the night she paid the ultimate price for her selflessness. Well done and very sad Bob.
Nancy

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you Nancy. Though this is fiction, I believe there were many compassionate nurses tending to our soldiers like this young lady. Thank you for taking the time to review my poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written sad poem. The wars of the past remind us of the needless death of so many people that figth for freedom and still no one seems to have freedom.

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    A very true comment Sandra. But sadly, our politicians appear to have different views. Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem and then leaving such a complimentary comment.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
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A lovely, sad, and touching verse.
Well written, well rhymed and the story is well told.
Nicely done and thank you for sharing this story with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you Sharon. Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Comment from apky
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The best part of your moving and eloquent poem was in the last lines. The reader was really moved and could visualise those brave soldiers going to search and find the remains of this brave lady.

>>One day she fell in battle a stray shot caught her in the head
The angel of the nursing corp she lay all alone and dead
When night time fell two brave young volunteers dashed out from the camp
Their task was to retrieve an angel, the lady with the lamp <<

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you apky. The one saving grace of battle is the creation of heroes. And in this particular verse there were three heroes, the lady with the lamp and the two brave volunteers. And they're the ones we celebrate. I appreciate your comment
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
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Wow Bob what a Heroic and heart felt story of this Lady withthe lamp. Truly a Beacon for falien Soilders. One that was very dutiful and compassionate to her Cause. Bob I love the story line it is so touching especially how she dies while serving the soldiers and they go and retrieve her body in the end. She was killed in the line of duty. Awesome story poem.

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Wow, what a fantastic review. I can't thank you enough. But be careful, praise like that may go to my head.
    Your review truly has brightened my Sunday morning
reply by Mary Hollingsworth on 19-May-2018
    Its such a touching story
Comment from Harry Smith
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The lady with the lamp is an excellently well written poem that is filled with lots of both imagery and emotions. I really enjoyed each stanza and was sadden when I read the last stanza. I hated to lose such a beautiful lady with a lamp.

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Harry, sadly death is the reality of war and heroes are, more often than not among the casualties. You review means a lot to me, especially the comment about emotion. I feel I've achieved my purpose when readers mention the word emotion. Thank you again
Comment from HaleyBel
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That made interesting reading. We're you talking of Florence Nightingale? Is that how she died? I never knew that if so. I was an Rgn for 13 years. She was kind of a role model?

 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    No, it's not Florence Nightingale. It was though inspired by her and is dedicated to all the nurses who served in the field of battle. They were heroes every bit as much as the fighters on the frontline. Thank you for reading my poem.
reply by HaleyBel on 20-May-2018
    It was very inspiring and a lovely tribute to the nurses.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
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This is a good account of what could have been. Your story flowed well with great rhyme, too.

verse 4--I would change 'the' lady to 'this' lady

And ev'ry day she traipsed through the mud and the blood and the damp

suggestion:

And ev'ry day she traipsed through mud, blood, and damp

the yellow background is very neon--I would lighten it a tad

I know this is your work, so file 13 = trash, my suggestions if you wish. Jan

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 Comment Written 19-May-2018


reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you Jan and I really appreciate your taking time to comment. I've changed the colours also. I've also changed the line slightly but I needed to maintain the 15 syllable count.
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 19-May-2018
    I didn't realize your lines were of 15 syllables. The green is really neon like the yellow.
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    oops, try again
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 19-May-2018
    light yellow or cream???
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 19-May-2018
    great color & fix with that line
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
    Thank you Jan for the help. I really appreciate it