Pity Party
Feeling sorry for yourself?39 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a very interesting exercise in sadness and self-pity. When I feel down, I don't usually have the energy to think of myself being anything. I just moulder.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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This is a very interesting exercise in sadness and self-pity. When I feel down, I don't usually have the energy to think of myself being anything. I just moulder.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Thanks for reading. A bit of drama in this poem I'll admit...I must have been feeling down that day. :)
Comment from equestrik
This is real, honest and well written and expressed. A pity party is okay sometimes as long as we pick ourselves up and get moving forward. Nicely written piece.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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This is real, honest and well written and expressed. A pity party is okay sometimes as long as we pick ourselves up and get moving forward. Nicely written piece.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Thank you. It can help sometimes, like you say, as long as it doesn't become a habit. :)
Comment from Cogitator
Solitude is much different than loneliness. This struck me as coming from a soul that has experienced all the feelings that make life as a human worthwhile. To me, this is about appreciation rather than pity. The clue is in using "IF". Great scenario!! John
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Solitude is much different than loneliness. This struck me as coming from a soul that has experienced all the feelings that make life as a human worthwhile. To me, this is about appreciation rather than pity. The clue is in using "IF". Great scenario!! John
Comment Written 03-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Thank you for this amazing review andthe 6 stars..it's appreciated. :)
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If we believe absurdities
We fail to use our Common Sense
We then commit atrocities
It's time to drop all the pretense
If we dig deep within our soul
We will find love that unites all
The truth is not in some dead scroll
Faulty beliefs cause our downfall
We're Avatars of our Spirit
It works the same for all of us
The uninformed tend to fear it
Once acquiesced, life has begun
Our bodies are temporary
Our ego is the transgressor
The past goes to cemetery
Our brain is just word processor
We project scenes from Here and Now
Thought?s the Big Bang of our MindSpace
We can change them using know-how
To see heaven, Truth we must face
No experience is ever lost
That must be true to have memory
Spirit records without exhaust
We're only forms of energy
Our lives are like moving pictures
Each frame depicts a frozen thought
They are not meant to be fixtures
Many are just what we've been taught
If we take role of director
We can edit final version
Gather the truth as collector
To then begin our conversion
Cutting room floor for every lie
Discard the pains of ignorance
Behold Heaven with inner eye
That's what creates Deliverance
The question is who will attend
The world premiere of Honesty
It makes a path we can ascend
Ignoring it is travesty
Once we accept we're here to grow
Our projections become boundless
Our minds blossom by letting go
Reject the chains to make progress
Eventually we come to know
Our Holy Grail can run over
Truth sets us free to overflow
Excess will cause the changeover
Comment from rhonnie69
HELLO POET: You are a star. You're BOOGIENIGHTS. That's who you are. I see you in "PRETTY," party lights. Recognized, all time best...ringing your, "BELLE," exciting your guests. All eyes on the lady...we all adore you...and, YES, we admire your puppy too. Boogienights, there's no doubt, we're all here to party...Boogienights, come on out, time to party hardy. OH...you've heard that before. Gotta' go now...no time for more. God bless you and yours, dear lady. Cordially: rhonnie69.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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HELLO POET: You are a star. You're BOOGIENIGHTS. That's who you are. I see you in "PRETTY," party lights. Recognized, all time best...ringing your, "BELLE," exciting your guests. All eyes on the lady...we all adore you...and, YES, we admire your puppy too. Boogienights, there's no doubt, we're all here to party...Boogienights, come on out, time to party hardy. OH...you've heard that before. Gotta' go now...no time for more. God bless you and yours, dear lady. Cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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This is probably the best review I've ever had! Fantastic. Thank you for reading and have a wonderfully poetic day. :)
Comment from seaglass
Was this written from a prompt? I hope so or else it would be so very, very sad. I like how you protect the emotion into non human things. I see it is recognize, as well it should be.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Was this written from a prompt? I hope so or else it would be so very, very sad. I like how you protect the emotion into non human things. I see it is recognize, as well it should be.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Not a writing prompt, and thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Friend,
I so enjoyed your poetic offering. I loved your word choices, your poem's flow, the chosen topics - the entire presentation. Keen visual and emotive imagery. Beautiful when read aloud. Your words and subject matter clearly resonated with me.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Hello Friend,
I so enjoyed your poetic offering. I loved your word choices, your poem's flow, the chosen topics - the entire presentation. Keen visual and emotive imagery. Beautiful when read aloud. Your words and subject matter clearly resonated with me.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thank you the generous Six star review, that's amazing. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Louise Michelle
OMG - I hope you're not always in such a negative mood. However, it's very healthy to write out one's feelings.
Aside from that commentary, I must say that I feel this was very well written. You grabbed my attention from the get go and held it throughout. Cheer up. Life is nuts, but we must always find the humor. Best Wishes, Lou
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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OMG - I hope you're not always in such a negative mood. However, it's very healthy to write out one's feelings.
Aside from that commentary, I must say that I feel this was very well written. You grabbed my attention from the get go and held it throughout. Cheer up. Life is nuts, but we must always find the humor. Best Wishes, Lou
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thank you for this great review. I'm not always so down...must have caught me at a bad moment. :) Thanks again.
Comment from Gail Denham
Oh such a sad tale - but cleverly done. I like all the comparisons especially the used book. How sad to line a bird cage. Pity party is often where we live part of each day. Hard to wipe off the drippy mascara and don a happy smile. I know. Thanks for a fun poem. (Cheer up, spring will be here soon we hope).
You asked why the four star - there are rhythm glitches here and there. I like the poem a whole lot. Have you read it out loud, noticing how the rhythm flows. For example, perhaps "If I were music, I'd play out of tune". phrases such as "don't lie in liquor and dope - might be "aren't in liquor or dope" -- "or a graveyard at most" might be better to take out the "a" -- "that's all the time I have" might be "I have no more time"
The reason I give these comments is that this is a great poem. It's just the rhythm slows the reader now and then. Let me know what you think. I give you five stars because it is a good poem, just needs tweeking.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Oh such a sad tale - but cleverly done. I like all the comparisons especially the used book. How sad to line a bird cage. Pity party is often where we live part of each day. Hard to wipe off the drippy mascara and don a happy smile. I know. Thanks for a fun poem. (Cheer up, spring will be here soon we hope).
You asked why the four star - there are rhythm glitches here and there. I like the poem a whole lot. Have you read it out loud, noticing how the rhythm flows. For example, perhaps "If I were music, I'd play out of tune". phrases such as "don't lie in liquor and dope - might be "aren't in liquor or dope" -- "or a graveyard at most" might be better to take out the "a" -- "that's all the time I have" might be "I have no more time"
The reason I give these comments is that this is a great poem. It's just the rhythm slows the reader now and then. Let me know what you think. I give you five stars because it is a good poem, just needs tweeking.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thanks for reviewing. Since you gave me a 4 star rating, I would be interested in how you think I might improve this piece. I always appreciate the feed back and feel that it helps me grow as a writer.
Comment from Miss Sherry
Kudos - this is moving and filled with pain. Questions we ask ourselves that have no answers. I am sure many people will relate to this. Self-pity is easy to fall into and you have addressed it well. I really like this and the great artwork.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Kudos - this is moving and filled with pain. Questions we ask ourselves that have no answers. I am sure many people will relate to this. Self-pity is easy to fall into and you have addressed it well. I really like this and the great artwork.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind words and this very nice review.
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You re so welcome! Love and blessings
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Wow, my friend, I really love this poem you've penned from beginning to end. For some reason it reminded me of the song: "If I were a carpenter" I love that song.
Fantastic write! ~Kerry
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Wow, my friend, I really love this poem you've penned from beginning to end. For some reason it reminded me of the song: "If I were a carpenter" I love that song.
Fantastic write! ~Kerry
Comment Written 19-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thank you...I love that song too. I appreciate you reading my poem. :)
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You're very welcome. So sorry for the late reply:))
