A Potpourri of Poetic Curiosities
Viewing comments for Chapter 131 "Mistaken identity"A collection of poems showcasing unusual words
14 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Nevertheless you made a proper limerick out of an obscure word from your book. You have an extra syllable in the last line and that sets the meter off. Drop the Sir, is what I would suggest...but it's your limerick. If you feel the need to be polite to that cop... LOL Good Limerick! I think you did the word proud. Nancy
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Nevertheless you made a proper limerick out of an obscure word from your book. You have an extra syllable in the last line and that sets the meter off. Drop the Sir, is what I would suggest...but it's your limerick. If you feel the need to be polite to that cop... LOL Good Limerick! I think you did the word proud. Nancy
Comment Written 11-May-2018
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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I think it's in the emphasis for that last line, I can read it aloud and it sounds fine both ways. As far as limericks go, I don't think there is a metrical requirement for identical syllable counts (e.g. the young lady from Niger is 9-9-6-6-10, exactly like this one). But in any case, scanning the reviews, two people have made the suggestion, so I'm happy to go with the flow :) Thanks for the kind review, Nancy. Craig
Comment from Joy Graham
Ah Craig. When you need inspiration, "you gotta go to the mattresses". Whatever that means? I remember Tom Hanks saying that in the movie You've Got Mail. His character was quoting The Godfather to inspire Meg Ryan's character to fight her book store from going bankrupt. So I guess that's your inspirational coaching moment from me. I don't know why, but when I think of twindle I picture a bundle of twigs and then think of the three little pigs. Winking at ya!
Joy xx
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Ah Craig. When you need inspiration, "you gotta go to the mattresses". Whatever that means? I remember Tom Hanks saying that in the movie You've Got Mail. His character was quoting The Godfather to inspire Meg Ryan's character to fight her book store from going bankrupt. So I guess that's your inspirational coaching moment from me. I don't know why, but when I think of twindle I picture a bundle of twigs and then think of the three little pigs. Winking at ya!
Joy xx
Comment Written 11-May-2018
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Haha. I think I saw that move when it first came out (that seems like a long time ago). I don't really remember any of it though. Thanks for the fun review :) Craig
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Craig;
Poor thing! Yes, the words of the last few days haven't been nearly as exciting as they once were. 'Twindle?' Oh well. If I had a twindle, I'm not sure I would give them up to the cops. Who would I be able to switch places with to see if my boyfriend could tell the difference? (Wait...that's another story.)
~patty~
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reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Hi, Craig;
Poor thing! Yes, the words of the last few days haven't been nearly as exciting as they once were. 'Twindle?' Oh well. If I had a twindle, I'm not sure I would give them up to the cops. Who would I be able to switch places with to see if my boyfriend could tell the difference? (Wait...that's another story.)
~patty~
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Comment Written 11-May-2018
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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I think you might be on a winner there Patty. You sure you'd want to go down that road? ;-)
Thanks for another great review - Craig
Comment from Talitha Milroy
I love the idea of writing poems from a "word of the day"! I've recently been thinking of doing something similar, as I feel I need to expand my poetic vocabulary. Good use of the limerick form, too. One suggestion for improvement: I think the last line has one syllable too many. Could be fixed by dropping the "sir".
Also, I'm curious, was the double entendre on the word "fingered" intentional?
Happy writing!
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reply by the author on 11-May-2018
 |
I love the idea of writing poems from a "word of the day"! I've recently been thinking of doing something similar, as I feel I need to expand my poetic vocabulary. Good use of the limerick form, too. One suggestion for improvement: I think the last line has one syllable too many. Could be fixed by dropping the "sir".
Also, I'm curious, was the double entendre on the word "fingered" intentional?
Happy writing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2018
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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I think it's in the emphasis for that last line, I can read it aloud and it sounds fine both ways. As far as limericks go, I don't think there is a metrical requirement for identical syllable counts (e.g. the young lady from Niger is 9-9-6-6-10, exactly like this one). But in any case, scanning the reviews, two people have made the suggestion, so I'm happy to go with the flow. I considered alternatives to "fingered" - like "busted", but mostly they seemed to carry a suggestion of guilt (even if only mildly) - whereas fingered seems (I think) to say "it wasn't me", so that's why I went that way.
Many thanks, Craig
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Mmmm, yeah, maybe when I read it out loud I was emphasising the wrong syllables and that's why the last line sounded a bit odd.
The choice of fingered makes sense, compared to busted. I actually hadn't heard that use of "fingered" before... I had to google it, because the only meaning that came to mind was the sexual meaning, and I figured that probably wasn't what you were going for! Fortunately the internet told me the police identification meaning. I suspect this might be a generational language difference. =P
