Cornbread Without Butter
I sure made a mistake in your sister's Easy-Bake.71 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Comparing cornbread and butter to life without a partner gives these lyrics a much more interesting connection. Cornbread and butter, and living life with that someone special, Some things just are just meant to go together. Well stated.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Comparing cornbread and butter to life without a partner gives these lyrics a much more interesting connection. Cornbread and butter, and living life with that someone special, Some things just are just meant to go together. Well stated.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Yes, Brett, some things are meant to go togethr. Thank you for your delcious review.
Comment from HaleyBel
Excellent. I understand it too well. It's brilliant in fact.
Is it a released song? I could image it rapped too.
If you have entered it into a contest I think it will be a winner.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Excellent. I understand it too well. It's brilliant in fact.
Is it a released song? I could image it rapped too.
If you have entered it into a contest I think it will be a winner.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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No, Haley, it's not recorded nor rapped, although I did consider entering this into the FanStory rap contest but declined because it was not about someone in my life. I have eight songs in my portfolio right now. As more people clamour to hear them, I will have to record an album. If I can get a band together, I could peform it at the West Coast Songwriters Contest and throughout the West Coast. Thank you for your revie and encouragement.
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your welcome, go for it.
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Yes, Haley, my song is a winner. I was shocked to learn last week that it won FanStory's Poem of the Month. I rushed to memorize and perform it two days later at the San Francisco Free Folk Festival. Thanks for your encouragement.
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Hey that?s great. I am so glad I was an inspiration. I could sure use some encouragement myself.
My punctuation is very old school and English. Often, I keep getting told I?m wrong. I go then and do grammar tests and it says 14 out of 15. I get proof readers and editors. (Not on here I don?t have a lot of money) but for pieces I publish but I keep getting knock backs.
I thought the idea of writing is to express an art of imagery or to be able to create a story people will enjoy and get into. I Know they need to understand it and autocorrect will have me arrested one day? Am l way off the mark? Don?t mean to moan, had a hard week but appreciate honest opinions.
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I love the video. Excellent.
It?s why I am single can?t cook for toffee
But I can spot an excellent song/poem.
Congratulations 🤣
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Thank you, Haley. I appreciate your compliments.
Comment from Old Soldier
Well written great flow and keeps the reader looking forward. Corn bread and butter, soul food. Thanks for sharing and keep writing. Think I'll go get me some....you know
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Well written great flow and keeps the reader looking forward. Corn bread and butter, soul food. Thanks for sharing and keep writing. Think I'll go get me some....you know
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Yes, Old Soldier, get you some cornbread WITH butter. Thank you for your delicious review.
Comment from Heather Knight
I love this, Andre.
I think it's very imaginative, original and the repetitions are just perfect (even more so now that I know it's a song).
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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I love this, Andre.
I think it's very imaginative, original and the repetitions are just perfect (even more so now that I know it's a song).
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Thank you, Maria, for your delicious, six star review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Sis Cat, what a name! You are quite a storyteller in your poem here. Loved it. Very good imagery, rhyme and prose. I'll definitely come back to read more from your pen!
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Sis Cat, what a name! You are quite a storyteller in your poem here. Loved it. Very good imagery, rhyme and prose. I'll definitely come back to read more from your pen!
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Yes, Sylvia, one of the tricks I used to write this song was to write out the story synopsis and narrative arc first, including scenes: man alone in his bedroom, shopping at Piggly Wiggly, remembering his wedding day. Then I put the story to lyrics, shapingthe lines and the rhymes, but the story came first. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
I'm like cornbread without butter, my bed without a lover, this piece can affect the reader on a few different levels, it was worded well and and many can relate, good work.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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I'm like cornbread without butter, my bed without a lover, this piece can affect the reader on a few different levels, it was worded well and and many can relate, good work.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Thank you, Phillip, for your review. I am glad you can relate to my song on different levels.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Sis Cat, I can see how this would really work well as song lyrics, and what a great piece of writing to come from that conversation with a friend. And the cornbread with and without butter is such a good analogy.
The poem flows well and the repetition works. I liked that as it isn't always the case and sometimes can be jarring. I saw no errors and found this poem to be a pleasure to read and review, Ana.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Hello Sis Cat, I can see how this would really work well as song lyrics, and what a great piece of writing to come from that conversation with a friend. And the cornbread with and without butter is such a good analogy.
The poem flows well and the repetition works. I liked that as it isn't always the case and sometimes can be jarring. I saw no errors and found this poem to be a pleasure to read and review, Ana.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Thank you, Anastasia, for your review. I'm glad you found this a pleasurable and delicious read.
Comment from meeshu
very well written, Cat. the repeated lines are effective in bringing the reader the metaphor in the message. stylish for free verse......nice job......meeshu
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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very well written, Cat. the repeated lines are effective in bringing the reader the metaphor in the message. stylish for free verse......nice job......meeshu
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Thank you, Meeshu, for your heartfelt review. I'm glad you found my metaphor effective.
Comment from karenina
How down home and still sizzling hot....
Funny the cacks that muse will use to get you nspired, right?
I can't find anything not to like about this honest, no frills, messed up and sorry poem....
It would indeed be a fine country song....just add a pick.up truck somewhere and you are on your way to a bonafide hit!
(Smile)
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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How down home and still sizzling hot....
Funny the cacks that muse will use to get you nspired, right?
I can't find anything not to like about this honest, no frills, messed up and sorry poem....
It would indeed be a fine country song....just add a pick.up truck somewhere and you are on your way to a bonafide hit!
(Smile)
Karenina
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Thank you, Karenina, for your delicious review. I'm amazed that a miscommunication inspired this song. Makes me wonder what other songs are out there waiting to be written.
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You have to have a poet's heart to listen out for these inspirations! No doubt from your poem, you qualify....keep those ears open! (smile)
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Cornbread Without Butter", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post. To me, this is certainly a six.
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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"Cornbread Without Butter", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post. To me, this is certainly a six.
Comment Written 07-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Duchess, for granting my song its first six star review. I appreciate it and your compliments.
