The chimney
Potlatch Cascade17 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Lige,
This was a lovely, lovely poem. The meter and rhythm were breathtaking as I read. I didn't understand on whit of it, but that didn't matter at all to me ear. *smile* Thanks - so sweet!
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Lige,
This was a lovely, lovely poem. The meter and rhythm were breathtaking as I read. I didn't understand on whit of it, but that didn't matter at all to me ear. *smile* Thanks - so sweet!
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Oh, surely you've seen an old rock chimney by some Alabama backroad and wondered what the house looked like, with a Ma chasing rowdy kids out of the yard with a besom...thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Robyn.
Comment from HaleyBel
I enjoyed your poem very much. I have not heard of potlatch poetry before but I detected there was a beat. A tale of progression in life in twelve lines is quite amazing.
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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I enjoyed your poem very much. I have not heard of potlatch poetry before but I detected there was a beat. A tale of progression in life in twelve lines is quite amazing.
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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The Potlatch Poetry challenge is a club here on Fanstory. This week's challenge was to write a cascade poem. The rhyme and meter were my taste intruding on the style. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Gloria ....
Terrific cascade poem, Ellijay. The artwork is rosy for the subject and that is good as it matches well with your opening line.
This is quite a nice, friendly form and of course writing lines that cascade is of utmost importance.
Excellent addition to the potlatch group. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Terrific cascade poem, Ellijay. The artwork is rosy for the subject and that is good as it matches well with your opening line.
This is quite a nice, friendly form and of course writing lines that cascade is of utmost importance.
Excellent addition to the potlatch group. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my cascade poem, Gloria. Those old stone chimneys left on vacant lots are sad...
like ancient graves with no flowers on memorial day. I don't mind the Cascade at all.
Comment from rspoet
The chimney is an strong vertical around which to construct a poem
Brick and stone remain long after clapboard falls to decay
Once life likely shrived in its heat and light
now, like the hill, it is lone and high
Excellent rhyming cascade poem
Interesting art work
RS
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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The chimney is an strong vertical around which to construct a poem
Brick and stone remain long after clapboard falls to decay
Once life likely shrived in its heat and light
now, like the hill, it is lone and high
Excellent rhyming cascade poem
Interesting art work
RS
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Those old fireplaces had a bad habit of torching riven-shingle roofs when the soot (creosote) caught fire, and then standing there alone...thanks very much for reading and reviewing my attempted cascade poem.
Comment from Sis Cat
Poem reminds me of the brushfires that swept California last year, leaving chimney's standing against the sky. the chimney stands agains(t) the sky. While you describe:
The works of men decay and die
those clapboard castles of the poor.
From my reference point I see not decay as bringing down these houses but fires. Nonetheless, you paint a picture of desolation, contrasting the ruins now with the home that once was there:
The bats at dusk still whirl and fly
but children's laughter rings no more
This is a nicely imagined poem. Thank you for sharing your Potlatch Challenge.
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Poem reminds me of the brushfires that swept California last year, leaving chimney's standing against the sky. the chimney stands agains(t) the sky. While you describe:
The works of men decay and die
those clapboard castles of the poor.
From my reference point I see not decay as bringing down these houses but fires. Nonetheless, you paint a picture of desolation, contrasting the ruins now with the home that once was there:
The bats at dusk still whirl and fly
but children's laughter rings no more
This is a nicely imagined poem. Thank you for sharing your Potlatch Challenge.
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Right. For every shack left to rot down, two were torched by those very fireplaces. A chimney built to avoid creosote became a howling blowtorch when the stuff caught fire, and untreated riven shingles were fine kindling. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Artasylum
I start to glaze over when I read the instructions for the form... I have a time getting words out. How complicated to get words out then make sense of them. Great job on your form... Great good luck in your contest. Yours, diana
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reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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I start to glaze over when I read the instructions for the form... I have a time getting words out. How complicated to get words out then make sense of them. Great job on your form... Great good luck in your contest. Yours, diana
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. The cascade form is simple and forgiving compared to most styles. Hope I did it justice...
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You did kiddo.
Comment from William Ross
Very good on the cascade reads and works well with great rhyming Nice club entry. Thanks for the share and have a wonderful day.
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reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Very good on the cascade reads and works well with great rhyming Nice club entry. Thanks for the share and have a wonderful day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 06-May-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my response to the club challenge. I hope I didn't offend the Cascade's inventor!
