Reviews from

Two widows talking.

A dialogue between me and my friend.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Rasmine
Good
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Have I not always been fair ad (and) honest to you?' We smile at each other (don't put this in a dialogue only contest -- I've made this mistake before). 'Why are we at this grave yard (graveyard)?' 'You were not there at the time, as Robert was that ill. We discussed this then.' 'Robert died about three weeks later (you have these on seperate lines but is it only one speaker? Then put them together.).' '"Jointly: YES. (just the 'yes' don't put jointly unless they are saying it.)'

Also, I notice you use the quotes. I've made this error before. They don't want quotes around the speech.

I wish you good luck in the contest.


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 Comment Written 08-May-2018


reply by the author on 08-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed week.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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I think this is a good entry for the Dialogue Only writing prompt.
Your story is clear within your dialogue.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 08-May-2018


reply by the author on 08-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed week.
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
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Hey Robina,
"Why are we at this grave yard?'
'It is where the ashes of Henk are. I'd like to share this with you.'
'I am so honoured with your request and will support you all the way."
This was smoothly written in natural voice. thanks. yours, diana

 Comment Written 07-May-2018


reply by the author on 08-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed week.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Ine, you have certainly managed to write a fine little tale here in your dialogue only entry. I rather liked it. You certainly had some difficulty in convincing your friend that you told the truth. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 06-May-2018


reply by the author on 06-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Excellent
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This is a very engaging dialogue. I always believed that dialogue is the key to a successful story, and you prove it here. It draws the reader in, livens the story, and a reader is never bored with a good dialogue.

I liked the touch of humor here, and smiled at the ending, when they ask each other if they should end this dialogue (lol).

This was fun.

 Comment Written 06-May-2018


reply by the author on 06-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from G.B. Smith
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Hi there Ine

Your artwork is very distinctive and opens the mind to serious compilation. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an excellent read. There is very good imagery.
Bear

 Comment Written 05-May-2018


reply by the author on 06-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I found your dialog with a friend fascinating. It seemed so frank and honest. I imagine two widows have a lot in common, and that makes it easier to have this kind of chat. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 05-May-2018


reply by the author on 06-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting premise with the two widows speaking and the visit to the graveyard is a good setting. You might do more to establish the ladies by having them use a name, like "How are you today, Joannie?" Remember you need a different paragraph every time there is a speaker change. We smile at each other is not part of the dialogue. Try to make it sound a little less formal. The ladies are friends. judi

 Comment Written 05-May-2018


reply by the author on 06-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed Sunday.
reply by judiverse on 06-May-2018
    You're quite welcome. judi
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hello, Ine. How have you been? I have been away for about ix months with health issues but am back now and raring to go. LOL

I love this exchange between two people and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. I do have one suggestion. The rule of thumb is everytime a different person speaks you need to double space before you go on. Here is an example of not doing it but there are more throughout your piece: Sorry.

"I then ask you, if he is making advances towards you.'
'No, he is not. And I would not appreciate this at all.'
'Can I believe you?'
'Of course you can. I swear on the Bible it is the truth.'
'I kind of still doubt you.'
'But why, oh why? Have I not always been fair ad honest to you?'

I hope this suggestion helps. I would hate to have youlose the contest because of spacing. :) Blessings ,Bob

 Comment Written 05-May-2018


reply by the author on 05-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great and blessed weekend.
reply by Mastery on 05-May-2018
    Do you agree about the spacing? Just curious. :) Bob
Comment from Harry Smith
Excellent
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This is a very good picture selection and this is a very well written dialogue only poem that has lots of both imagery and emotions. the reader enjoyed.

 Comment Written 05-May-2018


reply by the author on 05-May-2018
    Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a good and blessed weekend.