The Snake
A Crown of Heroic Sonnets for the contest50 total reviews
Comment from Harry Smith
This story/poem drew the reader in and kept him interesting from the beginning until the end. I am afraid of snakes but understand that they only attack those that try to hurt them. I enjoyed the read
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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This story/poem drew the reader in and kept him interesting from the beginning until the end. I am afraid of snakes but understand that they only attack those that try to hurt them. I enjoyed the read
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Harry, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets. We have quite a few snakes here but, as you suggest, they are usually shy and only too eager to avoid human contact. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Aussie
Crikey! The saga of the red-bellied black! Albert said "a reverence for all living things," I said shovel! My three felines used to bring black junior's into the house, a present for me. Out they went. One day I almost stepped on a swamp tiger; shaking, I dispatched it with my trusty shovel. I always said "sorry" either you or me mate! Good luck with your reptile tail in the contest ...love, Kace.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Crikey! The saga of the red-bellied black! Albert said "a reverence for all living things," I said shovel! My three felines used to bring black junior's into the house, a present for me. Out they went. One day I almost stepped on a swamp tiger; shaking, I dispatched it with my trusty shovel. I always said "sorry" either you or me mate! Good luck with your reptile tail in the contest ...love, Kace.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Kay, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets and for awarding six stars! Usually, I am not far behind you in dispatching snakes, especially when they are close to the house. However, my preferred weapon is a 12-bore, as it puts rather more distance between me and the snake than a shovel does! We have quite a few Eastern browns here as well as the Reds, and we used to have a Siamese who occasionally brought us the kind offering of a juvenile! I'm surprised he never got bitten. I found him eating one on the front lawn once, that was still showing substantial signs of life at the sharp end! Best wishes, Tony
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Apparently they can still bite you when in their death throes!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Live and let live and who are we to ask the reason why God created these deadly creatures and they also have a right to live. Your write is epic and following the story I had no idea where it would lead, but I was glad that it had a peaceful outcome. We have fear and so we imprison it when letting go we find that the fea in our mind was unfounded, I loved your words and your story, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Live and let live and who are we to ask the reason why God created these deadly creatures and they also have a right to live. Your write is epic and following the story I had no idea where it would lead, but I was glad that it had a peaceful outcome. We have fear and so we imprison it when letting go we find that the fea in our mind was unfounded, I loved your words and your story, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Dolly, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets and for awarding it six stars! Each year that I enter this contest, I vow it will be my last. It is quite an undertaking! I appreciate your very kind words. 'Live and let live' is a pretty good philosophy for life. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Air Spirit
Wow. I can't believe how difficult and time this poem form is. You develop the characters very well --
and your quandary on what to do also well developed --. Interesting watching him go through all of the inner dialogue about his dilemma. I am glad you point out that the only thing the snake did that he was guilty of, was being a snake. That's all. The moral of the story is clear:. "...away from foolish humans who cause strife.
"This snake that came was only seeking life.". Humans are the only animal that kills for sport - we come take their land, take away their food supply,destroy their homes, and to NOT consider first and foremost a compassionate, responsible and humane solution to save an innocent life, is beyond my comprehension!! I won't even kill a spider --. It takes a little bit more of my thought and planning in order for me to catch him without hurting him and then releasing him but it's worth the effort. I strongly believe that ALL of life is precious, and only man thinks himself privileged so as to judge the value of another life - is the epitome of arrogance! Good read, excellent message.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Wow. I can't believe how difficult and time this poem form is. You develop the characters very well --
and your quandary on what to do also well developed --. Interesting watching him go through all of the inner dialogue about his dilemma. I am glad you point out that the only thing the snake did that he was guilty of, was being a snake. That's all. The moral of the story is clear:. "...away from foolish humans who cause strife.
"This snake that came was only seeking life.". Humans are the only animal that kills for sport - we come take their land, take away their food supply,destroy their homes, and to NOT consider first and foremost a compassionate, responsible and humane solution to save an innocent life, is beyond my comprehension!! I won't even kill a spider --. It takes a little bit more of my thought and planning in order for me to catch him without hurting him and then releasing him but it's worth the effort. I strongly believe that ALL of life is precious, and only man thinks himself privileged so as to judge the value of another life - is the epitome of arrogance! Good read, excellent message.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Air Spirit, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets. Each year that I enter this contest, I vow it will be my last! I appreciate your kind words about the inner dialogue. 'Live and let live' is not a bad philosophy in life. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This heroic sonnet speaks a nice tale of a snake, rhymes are so fine and artistic, free flow of thoughts, couplets are appropriate, visuals are enjoyable; well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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This heroic sonnet speaks a nice tale of a snake, rhymes are so fine and artistic, free flow of thoughts, couplets are appropriate, visuals are enjoyable; well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Dr Alcreator, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets. Each year that I enter this contest, I vow it will be my last. I appreciate your kind words. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from karenina
Six stars if ever a poem deserved them! First, applause to you oh brave and mighty poet who dares to slay the dragon poet form! The Crown of Heroic Sonnets has brought lesser poets to their knees! And your tale! Best of all the words are purely placed...and paced to race my heart at the dilemma! If ever there were a worthy contender in this contest surely you, sir!
Karenina
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Six stars if ever a poem deserved them! First, applause to you oh brave and mighty poet who dares to slay the dragon poet form! The Crown of Heroic Sonnets has brought lesser poets to their knees! And your tale! Best of all the words are purely placed...and paced to race my heart at the dilemma! If ever there were a worthy contender in this contest surely you, sir!
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Karenina, for taking the time to review my Crown of Sonnets and for bestowing six stars upon it! Each year that I enter this contest, I vow it will be my last. I appreciate your very kind words. Best wishes, Tony
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I have known ytbard (who sponsors this contest here every year she tells me) for over ten years--not form here but form other poet sites in the past. EVERY time she challenges me to join this contest and EVERY time I tell her I'd rather stick my hand in a garbage disposal. YOU wrote such an interesting "Crown"---I'm routing for you big time! I'm interested to see how many take up the challenge!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is very powerful. It could easily be in one of the philosophy poems. It is very multi-leveled in its meaning. As you mentioned, it is a wonderful metaphor of life. You most important concept for me is "was only seeking life" That all any of us are seeking and yet we question whether to destroy the one who threatens us because we don't understand them nor are we sensitive to the fact that all they want is to live a life. The reader would do well to take in the full meaning here. You have created great imagery. Well written.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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This is very powerful. It could easily be in one of the philosophy poems. It is very multi-leveled in its meaning. As you mentioned, it is a wonderful metaphor of life. You most important concept for me is "was only seeking life" That all any of us are seeking and yet we question whether to destroy the one who threatens us because we don't understand them nor are we sensitive to the fact that all they want is to live a life. The reader would do well to take in the full meaning here. You have created great imagery. Well written.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks, Liz, for dropping by to review this lengthy poem. I appreciate your acute observations and kind words. As you say, we are all 'only seeking life', though in that context we are sometimes apt to destroy the lives of others. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Dawn Munro
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh Tony, what a poem! I am grinning too hard again - my face hurts! Ah yes, old age... Youth has a way of defining it quickly, doesn't it? HAHAHAHA! Poor snake; poor well-owner, well-intended but fearful. (Believe me, I would be too!) (So, did you like my play on words? *grin*)
One suggestion - "...the price they quote puts me in (quite) a spin..." You need that extra syllable here.
What a marvelous Crown - full of wisdom and pure entertainment! Good luck in the contest. I might have a go, but after reading this one... *sigh*...
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh Tony, what a poem! I am grinning too hard again - my face hurts! Ah yes, old age... Youth has a way of defining it quickly, doesn't it? HAHAHAHA! Poor snake; poor well-owner, well-intended but fearful. (Believe me, I would be too!) (So, did you like my play on words? *grin*)
One suggestion - "...the price they quote puts me in (quite) a spin..." You need that extra syllable here.
What a marvelous Crown - full of wisdom and pure entertainment! Good luck in the contest. I might have a go, but after reading this one... *sigh*...
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks for taking the time to review this one so carefully, Dawn. I appreciate your sharp eye in spotting the nine-syllable line! It was one that I had amended, but rather carelessly as it seems! I have now changed it to "The price that's quoted puts me in a spin;". Thanks for the sixth star and the good luck wishes, both very much appreciated by this well-intentioned well owner! All the best, Tony
Comment from meeshu
first of all I have to congratulate you for taking this prompt on. a serious under taking, I find at least four metaphors in this piece. well written in a kind of whirlwind style.......Epic.......meeshu
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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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first of all I have to congratulate you for taking this prompt on. a serious under taking, I find at least four metaphors in this piece. well written in a kind of whirlwind style.......Epic.......meeshu
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks for your review of The Snake, Meeshu. As you say, a lengthy and time-consuming construction. Each year that I enter this contest, I vow that it will be my last! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! I can never imagine writing one of these. You did a superb job, Tony. I wish I could hear you read it in person because sometimes I can't imagine how "born" and "dawn" rhyme - near rhymes maybe but probably in your English, they're perfect pairs.
I appreciate the story told in your truly compassionate heart about all wildlife. My favorite lines were:
"The bane of age is caution; there's the truth.
It is the gulf dividing age from youth."
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Wow! I can never imagine writing one of these. You did a superb job, Tony. I wish I could hear you read it in person because sometimes I can't imagine how "born" and "dawn" rhyme - near rhymes maybe but probably in your English, they're perfect pairs.
I appreciate the story told in your truly compassionate heart about all wildlife. My favorite lines were:
"The bane of age is caution; there's the truth.
It is the gulf dividing age from youth."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for your review of this lengthy poem, Helen. I had considered putting it on a soundtrack but it is rather too long to fit with the prescribed limits. As you suggest, 'born/dawn' is a perfect rhyme pair the way I pronounce it! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! LOL
