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The Snake

A Crown of Heroic Sonnets for the contest

50 total reviews

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

Tony, I am crying now. It is such a brilliant piece. I loath snakes and when I opened the picture, had a shudder pf revulsion. But, as I read your miraculous words, I forgot my fear and felt very empathetic for this poor creature who fell into a trap and became helpless, despite his size and reputation.

These are just incredible:

But when a source of evil enters thought,
and settles there to fester and pollute,
our inner peace remains disturbed, and fraught
with guilt that, over time, becomes acute.

Our prejudice is apt to lead astray;
and what we think is evil may be good,
submerged in fear. There is a better way
for those who play at god. A good god would

extend a helping hand and rescue him.
I therefore call a service that saves snakes.
The price that's quoted puts me in a spin;
I baulk at saving souls for such high stakes.

Tony, you are a genius. I read your inner struggle of whether to save the creature or let it die, and glad, the humanitarianism prevailed. My heart gave a thump as I was reading about this girl saving a snake. What if she fell? But it's people like her that makes this world a better place.

And these were your masterpiece:

So, on this night, my metaphor was born
as I got up to greet the coming dawn.

This should be published. I am so glad you joined! In ten years I've been sponsoring this contest, your entries were of the highest caliber, you set the bar high and gave the contest a new meaning.

I am not wishing you good luck - I know, nothing could beat this one. I rejoice in this entry - it is a jewel in our Crown.

Comment Written 30-Apr-2018

reply by the author on 01-May-2018

I'm delighted that this one resonated so keenly with you, Yelena, and I very much appreciate your accolade of six stars. I enjoy the challenge of these Crowns, but find the repeating lines a bit difficult to integrate successfully. Unlike in the longer wreaths of sonnets, where they are amalgamated to form the fifteenth sonnet, they do not seem to serve much useful purpose. I was talking with Jim about this recently and we both thought that a single connecting word might be a more fluid link between each sonnet. I also miss the flexibility of being able to include the occasional trochaic inversion both for emphasis and to break the monotony of unrelieved iambs! I probably overuse enjambment to compensate. Perhaps feminine endings, too, have a place, when used sparingly. Nonetheless, it is an interesting challenge to compose within your tighter limits! I applaud your continued annual sponsorship of the form and thank you for it.

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done. Bravo! I never would have thought to write about a snake for a crown of heroic sonnets. They seem so much different from the regular sonnets. I'm still curious if they require a turn? I keep asking but get no answer. I have three of my seven done, but it is exhausting. My first time trying this. I don't like snakes and was planning to skip your post because of the picture u til I saw this was your crown of heroic sonnets. I have much to learn from you. Best wishes in this contest.

Sincerely Joy xx

Comment Written 30-Apr-2018