We've Broken Free
Monichelle potlatch post16 total reviews
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
You're right about seasons being late to change. It seemed like it took forever for the winter weather to be over. When we were finally loosed from its frozen grasp, we didn't get any springtime weather. It went from winter straight into summertime weather. I like the message of this and enjoyed reading it. Well done Dragonpoet!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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You're right about seasons being late to change. It seemed like it took forever for the winter weather to be over. When we were finally loosed from its frozen grasp, we didn't get any springtime weather. It went from winter straight into summertime weather. I like the message of this and enjoyed reading it. Well done Dragonpoet!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Thank you, Jeffrey, for your time and comments. I appreciate the 5-star rating.
Joan
Comment from kahpot
Very well written as everybody wants winter to end before it starts, though the longer we wish for this the longer it seems to last, Potlatch is this starting each verse with the same line? Thank you for sharing****kahpot
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Very well written as everybody wants winter to end before it starts, though the longer we wish for this the longer it seems to last, Potlatch is this starting each verse with the same line? Thank you for sharing****kahpot
Comment Written 09-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Thanks for the review. That was one rules. It also had to have 6 syllables per line and 5 line stanzas in which lines 3 and 5 rhyme.
Joan
Comment from E. B. Ross
"Lasting cold brings anger,
doubt, and much despair."...I hear that! Seems that it's been cold and grey in Central California for decades! Nothing can get the spirit down like gloomy days, they eat right through to the soul.
"The sun's out, warmth's arrived
From Winter we broke free"...we're still waiting here with fingers crossed.
Nice job!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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"Lasting cold brings anger,
doubt, and much despair."...I hear that! Seems that it's been cold and grey in Central California for decades! Nothing can get the spirit down like gloomy days, they eat right through to the soul.
"The sun's out, warmth's arrived
From Winter we broke free"...we're still waiting here with fingers crossed.
Nice job!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
dp
Comment from country ranch writer
Depression rears its ugly head during these times and won't let go as spring comes to the surface. Change is hard to accept by all it effects. Winter stays to long and wears out its welcome.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Depression rears its ugly head during these times and won't let go as spring comes to the surface. Change is hard to accept by all it effects. Winter stays to long and wears out its welcome.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2018
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Thanks for your time and comments. They are both much appreciated.
dp
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Hugs
Comment from William Ross
Nicely done on the potlatch challenge with this, I think the seasons are going through a change myself. the earth is always evolving or changing. thanks for the share and have a great day.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Nicely done on the potlatch challenge with this, I think the seasons are going through a change myself. the earth is always evolving or changing. thanks for the share and have a great day.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate all the stars.
dp
Comment from yuccabarry1
Repeating "Seasons are late to change" gives the poem a good rhythm and makes it easy to read. I personally feel that the winter is depression, spring is slowly breaking out of it and the summer is the lack of depression. I am bipolar and this poem is describes what I go through. Great work!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Repeating "Seasons are late to change" gives the poem a good rhythm and makes it easy to read. I personally feel that the winter is depression, spring is slowly breaking out of it and the summer is the lack of depression. I am bipolar and this poem is describes what I go through. Great work!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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I am glad you think the repetition makes the poem easier to read. Thanks for the kind review and high rating
dp
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Comment from Debbie Pope
I like this entry a lot. It was 96 degrees last weekend (I was in Savannah), but I remember how late spring was this year. Like you say, the weather was on everyone's mind. We physically and psychologically need the rebirth and warmth of springtime. I would not change a word. I particularly like the repetition of your first line. I might even make that line the title. The only thing that I think needs revising is the punctuation and capitalization. It is an editing thing. I am not a stickler for punctuation by any means, but you need to be consistent. Break the rules if that helps the poem. Great job with the poem though.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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I like this entry a lot. It was 96 degrees last weekend (I was in Savannah), but I remember how late spring was this year. Like you say, the weather was on everyone's mind. We physically and psychologically need the rebirth and warmth of springtime. I would not change a word. I particularly like the repetition of your first line. I might even make that line the title. The only thing that I think needs revising is the punctuation and capitalization. It is an editing thing. I am not a stickler for punctuation by any means, but you need to be consistent. Break the rules if that helps the poem. Great job with the poem though.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thanks for the thorough review and high rating. I am glad you liked to repetition and
the wording.
dp
Comment from pome lover
"Seasons are late to change" is a good first liner.
You follow with examples of winter's hanging on and the huge desire by everyone for Spring - very good.
I think, though, that your second verse is not correct as a sentence; at least it doesn't make sense to me - your subject and predicate don't go together.
I don't mean to be cruel, I just think the second verse needs to be changed.
Otherwise, it is a good poem.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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"Seasons are late to change" is a good first liner.
You follow with examples of winter's hanging on and the huge desire by everyone for Spring - very good.
I think, though, that your second verse is not correct as a sentence; at least it doesn't make sense to me - your subject and predicate don't go together.
I don't mean to be cruel, I just think the second verse needs to be changed.
Otherwise, it is a good poem.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thanks for the review. Rereading it, I think you are right. I will have to rework it later.
Joan
Comment from kiwijenny
Yes yes yes...winter has finally thrown off his cloak and let summer in.
You know soon we will be complaining of the heat.
Well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Yes yes yes...winter has finally thrown off his cloak and let summer in.
You know soon we will be complaining of the heat.
Well penned
God bless
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Glad you liked it. Thanks.
dp
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a great entry for the Monichelle Potlatch entry. I like how you built up the expectations about waiting for springtime and how everyone was tired of Old Man Winter. Good job!!
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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This is a great entry for the Monichelle Potlatch entry. I like how you built up the expectations about waiting for springtime and how everyone was tired of Old Man Winter. Good job!!
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate it.
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