Tortillas
A Ghazal55 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This ghazal, Tortillas, has the proper set up and you go further by placing the coordinating internal rhyme in the repeat mode as well. Nice touch.
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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This ghazal, Tortillas, has the proper set up and you go further by placing the coordinating internal rhyme in the repeat mode as well. Nice touch.
Comment Written 18-May-2018
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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Oh, yes, Bill, it took me three ghazals to finally nail that internal rhyme. Then I went back and corrected my first ghazal. I am quite honored that my fourth ghazal tied for first place in the contest. I deeply appreciate your review and support.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I hear a Mexican dance rhythm in the background with all of the instruments. This is very clever even with the challenge of writing something with such a strict pattern and rulers. Some of the poems written with this pattern are a bit awkward with the needing to repeat a certain phrase, but your choice is ideal and it creates the music of the song. I read writings aloud and I sang this one. What fun. The reader would agree with me. Well written. I voted for you.
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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I hear a Mexican dance rhythm in the background with all of the instruments. This is very clever even with the challenge of writing something with such a strict pattern and rulers. Some of the poems written with this pattern are a bit awkward with the needing to repeat a certain phrase, but your choice is ideal and it creates the music of the song. I read writings aloud and I sang this one. What fun. The reader would agree with me. Well written. I voted for you.
Comment Written 12-May-2018
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Liz, for your enthusiastic six star review and vote. It helped my ghazal tie for a first place win. I just returned from a Mexican vacation where I wrote my ghazal two weeks ago, and I just bought my first guitar yesterday. This accounts for the "Mexican dance rhythm" you hear.
The original ghazals in Arabia, Pershia, and India were songs that were sung, not read. When I listened to them in their original languages of Arabic, Pashtu, and Urdu, even though I did not understand a word, I understood the rhythm, melody, and repetition. This is what I strove for in my ghazal that "creates the music of the song." Thank you for recognizing this.
And thank you for giving me the vote that won me a tied first place win. I much appreciate it.
Andre
Comment from HaleyBel
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Too funny, I really enjoyed your poem. Were you hungry or eating a packet when you wrote it? I specifically like the last stanza. I bet God laughed too.
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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Ha-ha-ha-ha! Too funny, I really enjoyed your poem. Were you hungry or eating a packet when you wrote it? I specifically like the last stanza. I bet God laughed too.
Comment Written 12-May-2018
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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Oh, Haley, I was in Mexico when I wrote this. My partner forgot to buy the tortillas when he went to the mercado. I eventually ate plenty of tortillas and wrote this ghazal. Thank you for your review. I'm glad my poem made you laugh. Yes, God, laughed, too.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your use of dialog in couplets in this Ghazal. I needed some laughs and appreciated your lighthearted subject and parallel photograph. Your "Frisbees" stanza is choice! Still chortling- Joan
reply by the author on 05-May-2018
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I enjoyed your use of dialog in couplets in this Ghazal. I needed some laughs and appreciated your lighthearted subject and parallel photograph. Your "Frisbees" stanza is choice! Still chortling- Joan
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 05-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Joan, for your review. I wrote this Ghazal for laughs to demystify the form. I'm glad you loved the Frisbee stanza.
Comment from BeasPeas
Well, I love tortillas, so the poem is already a hit with me. The Ghazal is a strange poetry form, but I see the value in it after reading the instructions for it. This is the third one I've read today and all were good. Something I'll have to try one of these days. I like that each couplet is meant to stand alone. Taken in that context, it makes the form more interesting. Much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-May-2018
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Well, I love tortillas, so the poem is already a hit with me. The Ghazal is a strange poetry form, but I see the value in it after reading the instructions for it. This is the third one I've read today and all were good. Something I'll have to try one of these days. I like that each couplet is meant to stand alone. Taken in that context, it makes the form more interesting. Much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn
Comment Written 05-May-2018
reply by the author on 05-May-2018
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No, Marilyn, don't try one of these days. Try now.
Yes, each couplet is meant to stand alone. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia, Persia, and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," edited by Agha Shahid Ali, or you can read the Ghazal that inspired me to try my hand at this form: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
You are welcome to enter FanStory?s Ghazal contest. The contest deadline has been extended three days. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Tortillas are great. I use them for everything. Mexican food and other things like fried pies, mini thin crust pizzas, deep fried and sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, etc.
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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Tortillas are great. I use them for everything. Mexican food and other things like fried pies, mini thin crust pizzas, deep fried and sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, etc.
Comment Written 02-May-2018
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Thomas, not only for your delicious review but for giving my poem its last review before the certificate expired. It's been a lot of fun. Now I got to go find some tortillas.
Comment from kingpin.101
I am very confused on the message of the poem. The poem is simple but does not go into depth. I know that you are trying to make funny, but the it does not deliver. Repetition can be good if used for powerful meaning. This poem is too simple and does not have enough substance better luck next time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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I am very confused on the message of the poem. The poem is simple but does not go into depth. I know that you are trying to make funny, but the it does not deliver. Repetition can be good if used for powerful meaning. This poem is too simple and does not have enough substance better luck next time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2018
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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Oh, kingpin 101, I will keep writing and there will be next times. I followed the form of the Ghazal and the contest which calls for a precise structure that uses repetition. Simple and fun is what i want my poem to be. Thank you for your opinion.
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Thank you again, Kingpin.101, for your review. I'm pleased to announce that after two years and several rejections, my poem "Tortillas" has been accepted for publication. It took a while, but I finally found an audience that appreciated the message, humor, and repetition of my ghazal poem. I wish you much success with your writing.
ALW
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, this is an interesting Ghazal! You made me hungry (smile). I love Tortillas. I think, you've inspired me to write one. Loved your imagery and visuals. Thank you for your helpful author notes too.
I enjoyed this one, thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Oh, this is an interesting Ghazal! You made me hungry (smile). I love Tortillas. I think, you've inspired me to write one. Loved your imagery and visuals. Thank you for your helpful author notes too.
I enjoyed this one, thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Yelena, for your delicious review. Many reviewers hungered for tortillas after reading my poem. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia, Persia, and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," edited by Agha Shahid Ali, or you can read the Ghazal that inspired me to try my hand at this form: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
You are welcome to enter FanStory?s Ghazal contest. The contest deadline has been extended three days. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Poetofheart2013
What a very cute and clever poem about food item .
You did a good with what it like to eat the item.
I really enjoy reading it .
Keep the good work
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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What a very cute and clever poem about food item .
You did a good with what it like to eat the item.
I really enjoy reading it .
Keep the good work
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Thank you, Poetoftheheart2013, for your delicious review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.
Comment from l.raven
love your poem...and love tortillas when warm...and stuffed to the brim...yum...yum...I hope you were able to make some...very well written...and a perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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love your poem...and love tortillas when warm...and stuffed to the brim...yum...yum...I hope you were able to make some...very well written...and a perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Oh, Linda, I'm going to La Gloria tomorro to buy the masa to make tortillas. Thank you for your delicious review.
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LOL...you are so very welcome...now enjoy...love xxoo