Naked
The gun was hot and he was naked.88 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Hey! How in the heaven are ya?
Cheers, Andre';
-sad and melancholy as the whole writing seems to be, but it did not end this way, and in fact it ended in a very humorous manner. Chuckle! Towing in a little bit of humor helped.
-The pictures absolutely effective in supporting your conceptual theme, my friend.
-You definitely coming on like a weapon in this poem, but it seems by making your point in this way your effectively executing your alienable rights. But we are so alienable ourselves when it comes to guns. Chuckle!
-I heard of this happening but I did not know the full story until now.
-Shaw made an excellent feat under the circumstances of him being naked.
-Spell that out quite clearly with a sarcastic tone isn't that strong but effective.
-Thanks for sharing this, Andre', and take care and don't be a stranger.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Hey! How in the heaven are ya?
Cheers, Andre';
-sad and melancholy as the whole writing seems to be, but it did not end this way, and in fact it ended in a very humorous manner. Chuckle! Towing in a little bit of humor helped.
-The pictures absolutely effective in supporting your conceptual theme, my friend.
-You definitely coming on like a weapon in this poem, but it seems by making your point in this way your effectively executing your alienable rights. But we are so alienable ourselves when it comes to guns. Chuckle!
-I heard of this happening but I did not know the full story until now.
-Shaw made an excellent feat under the circumstances of him being naked.
-Spell that out quite clearly with a sarcastic tone isn't that strong but effective.
-Thanks for sharing this, Andre', and take care and don't be a stranger.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, Alex, this tragic event ended in triumph. It has an only-in-America quality about it. The whole nudity thing is funny as if Reinking is trying to outdo other mass shooters. ("I'll do a shooting wearing no body armour.")
Thank you for your detailed review. I'm vacation in Mexico now and have ten more days to write.
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God Bless you Andre' and continue having fun and try to have it all in 10 days. Chuckle!
You're also welcome.
Alex
Comment from c_lucas
Your image reminded me of Jack Webb, "Joe Friday." Just the bare facts. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Your image reminded me of Jack Webb, "Joe Friday." Just the bare facts. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, C_Lucas, I wrote just the bare facts (pun intended). I allowed Shaw to speak in his own words. One reviewer said this was too prose-like, but I wanted to strip the language to its bare details. Thank you for your review.
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Never give up your rights as a wordsmith. Prose or lyrics, you call the shots.
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent post. Although if Shaw had turned the gun on the mentally challenged guy and put him up against the wall it would have been even more appropriate.
These shooters need to be made to look like idiots to turn off the copycats.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Excellent post. Although if Shaw had turned the gun on the mentally challenged guy and put him up against the wall it would have been even more appropriate.
These shooters need to be made to look like idiots to turn off the copycats.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, LIJ Red, we need to turn off these copycats. They are studying each others techniques and are tyring to outdo one another, thus the naked mass shooter. I'm glad this one was stopped. He was finally captured lurking around the back of an elementary school with a handgun in his backpack. Thank you for your review.
Comment from robyn corum
Andre,
Welll ... he wasn't completely naked ... he had on a green army jacket. *smile* Which is more than a little weird, don't you think? To me, that actually seems to say something about him still feeling inadequate, even on the day he decided to take action against everything he felt all this anger about - and that is ... what? Wrong in sooo many ways.
Anyway, I love this. It's marvelous. I almost always skip Anything that has the sex flag, but I have come to trust you, so I gave it a shot, and I'm glad I did. *smile* Well worth the read. So smart.
A few notes, if I may?
1.) But I've heard of a man... rush and wrestle
--> when you eliminate the stuff in between, I hope you can see that your grammar is off? Suggest:
--> But I've heard of a man... (who) rush(ed) and wrestle(ed)
--> though you may find your own, and better, way to adjust
2.) Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
--> it may be me, but with this line, the font seemed to get smaller?? And it doesn't need to decrease here -- this is THE MESSAGE!!!
3.) The following is BRILLIANT:
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
Love it! And this is why you're getting my last six of the week, my brother. Kudos, kudos, kudos. Fab work. Thank you for sharing your genius.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Andre,
Welll ... he wasn't completely naked ... he had on a green army jacket. *smile* Which is more than a little weird, don't you think? To me, that actually seems to say something about him still feeling inadequate, even on the day he decided to take action against everything he felt all this anger about - and that is ... what? Wrong in sooo many ways.
Anyway, I love this. It's marvelous. I almost always skip Anything that has the sex flag, but I have come to trust you, so I gave it a shot, and I'm glad I did. *smile* Well worth the read. So smart.
A few notes, if I may?
1.) But I've heard of a man... rush and wrestle
--> when you eliminate the stuff in between, I hope you can see that your grammar is off? Suggest:
--> But I've heard of a man... (who) rush(ed) and wrestle(ed)
--> though you may find your own, and better, way to adjust
2.) Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
--> it may be me, but with this line, the font seemed to get smaller?? And it doesn't need to decrease here -- this is THE MESSAGE!!!
3.) The following is BRILLIANT:
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
Love it! And this is why you're getting my last six of the week, my brother. Kudos, kudos, kudos. Fab work. Thank you for sharing your genius.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Robyn, for your generous, detailed review and feedback which I have incorporated, improving my poem, as you can see if you read my poem again. I even added a clause about the green army jacket, which is not weird when you think Reinking had to have some place to put the extra magazine clips either than up his a**.
I much appreciate your last six star review of the week and I will be granting you my first nomination in a month.
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Oh! I do like these improvements. And it?s horrifying to think I didn?t even consider the real reason this maniac needed that jacket. Once again, you struck right to the heart of the matter. In the notes to me, anyway. I?m struck numb. Just numb.
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Yes, Robyn, when I Googled jacket+mass shooting, I discovered that many mass shooters wore those jackets to store their ammo.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello Sis Cat,
A good poem dedicated the James Shaw Jr. May we have more hero or heroines in this country. I really get scared sometimes; seems like some people are really going 'postal'.
If I didn't hear it was in Tennessee, I was going to call the police because I thought I saw the same guy on a trail here in Connecticut. There was no way he could have gotten here in like one hour so glad it wasn't him. Maybe it was his doppelganger.
Have a great weekend. It is good to see you, :)
Nome
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Hello Sis Cat,
A good poem dedicated the James Shaw Jr. May we have more hero or heroines in this country. I really get scared sometimes; seems like some people are really going 'postal'.
If I didn't hear it was in Tennessee, I was going to call the police because I thought I saw the same guy on a trail here in Connecticut. There was no way he could have gotten here in like one hour so glad it wasn't him. Maybe it was his doppelganger.
Have a great weekend. It is good to see you, :)
Nome
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Rasmine, for your review and heartfelt thoughts and concerns. Please keep safe and alert in Connecticut.
Comment from William Ross
Very good, Shows it don't take a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy, sometimes a little guts and an opportunity. this guy did great, and well deserves the recognition. Thanks for te share and have a great day.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Very good, Shows it don't take a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy, sometimes a little guts and an opportunity. this guy did great, and well deserves the recognition. Thanks for te share and have a great day.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Thank you, William, for your review. Yes, Shaw deserves the recognition but he is embarrassed by it because he says he is not a hero but a regular guy, and each one of us could have done the same thing with a little guts and opportunity. Thanks.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Sis, what an interesting story you tell in this piece. An actual occurrence and your take on the event is well done. I love your last stanza -
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed..... Lovely - and what a good use of metaphor.
Very well done - warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Hi Sis, what an interesting story you tell in this piece. An actual occurrence and your take on the event is well done. I love your last stanza -
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed..... Lovely - and what a good use of metaphor.
Very well done - warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your review of my poem about this event. I'm glad you love the last stanza.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, Sandra, but Shaw had a bigger weapon--his will to live and see his daughter again. He used and burned his bare hands wrestling the gun away from him. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
|
A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, Sandra, mad people can only do mad things with mad weapons, but at least in this case Shaw stopped reinking from further bloodshed, and then raised $175,000 for the victims and visited the survivors in the hospital. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
|
A very well-written poem about a real lifetime hero. He did not think about his own safety but instinctively fight the naked gunmen to disarm him who already killed four innocent people. These mad people can only do these mad things with a weapon of some sort.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2018
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Yes, Sandra, mad people can only do mad things with mad weapons, but at least in this case Shaw stopped reinking from further bloodshed, and then raised $175,000 for the victims and visited the survivors in the hospital. Thank you for your review.
