Naked
The gun was hot and he was naked.88 total reviews
Comment from Zinnia48
The cartoon has left me speechless, but I think I can still find words to commend you on this splendid poem. I particularly like that whenever I read your work, I can hear your voice. I wish there was a way that you can share this poem with this splendid man. Caroline
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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The cartoon has left me speechless, but I think I can still find words to commend you on this splendid poem. I particularly like that whenever I read your work, I can hear your voice. I wish there was a way that you can share this poem with this splendid man. Caroline
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Caroline, for your generous, six star review. Shaw is getting praise throughout his state and our Nation not pnly for stopping the attack, but for raising funds to help the victims. When you wished I could share my poem with him, I went to his GoFundMe page and donated money which put him at $213,616.00. To me, helping the victims and survivors in a tangible way is more important than sharing my poem, although I did thank him on his GoFundMe page. Thanks for inspiring me to donate.
Comment from wordsfromsue
Hi you. I've missed your writing.
Yeah, it was pretty awesome what Mr. Shaw did that night.
Don't think I could be so courageous, hope I never have to find out.
Nice writing. :-)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Hi you. I've missed your writing.
Yeah, it was pretty awesome what Mr. Shaw did that night.
Don't think I could be so courageous, hope I never have to find out.
Nice writing. :-)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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That is the thing--we never know when or if we will find out if we have the courage for such an incident. Do you remember that security guard at that high school in Florida? For two years he was voted security guard for the year for the school district. But when a mass shooter attacked the school, he stayed outside while seventeen students were slaughtered inside. No, we do not know when or if we will be called to show courage. I pray for courage and presence of mind if it is me.
Thank you for your generous six star review, and the last one I received on this poem before the certificate expired.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
The Colt .45 Peacemaker was marketed as "the great equalizer." Not a bad thing to have around when a "bad guy with a gun" is around and a big, strong "good guy" is not. No poetry here, but good commentary, nonetheless. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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The Colt .45 Peacemaker was marketed as "the great equalizer." Not a bad thing to have around when a "bad guy with a gun" is around and a big, strong "good guy" is not. No poetry here, but good commentary, nonetheless. :) Nancy
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Nancy, for your review and comments, even that you said it was not poetry. Several others have said the same thing and that thrills me because I did not set out to write a traditional poem, but strip it of poetic effects and allow Shaw to take front and center with his comments, and then my comments about his comments. Thanks again.
Comment from peculiar2011
Great Poem! I love the last three lines, it sums up everything. Mr. Shaw was certainly a hero, a silent hero waiting for his time ("for such a time as this" to shine.
I also applaud you for work.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Great Poem! I love the last three lines, it sums up everything. Mr. Shaw was certainly a hero, a silent hero waiting for his time ("for such a time as this" to shine.
I also applaud you for work.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Thank you, peculiar2011, for your generous, six star review. Yes, many reviewers love those final three lines that sum up everything. Shaw certainly was a hero. Thanks for applauding my work, too.
Comment from Janet Foor
This has been in the news a lot here in western NC. I think I even heard that Mr. Shaw is raising money for the children of the victims of this horrific crime.
Excellent commentary on the event.
I especially liked the last lines. Makes one wonder what we would do in similar circumstances.
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
Well done Andre.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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This has been in the news a lot here in western NC. I think I even heard that Mr. Shaw is raising money for the children of the victims of this horrific crime.
Excellent commentary on the event.
I especially liked the last lines. Makes one wonder what we would do in similar circumstances.
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
Well done Andre.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Yes, Janet, we are all wondering what we would do in similar circumstances, thus the power of the last lines.
The last I heard, Shaw raised $175,000 for the victims and their families.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from mvbrooks
I am so glad you chose to glorify the man who used his hands--and not a hand gun (or such) to protect others. This was a remarkable event and the bravery and integrity of James Shaw is worthy of recognition.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I am so glad you chose to glorify the man who used his hands--and not a hand gun (or such) to protect others. This was a remarkable event and the bravery and integrity of James Shaw is worthy of recognition.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Yes, mvbrooks, I chose to glorify the man and use as many of his quotes as possible to put him front and center in my poem. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Was he a "hero" for this act or was he acting stupid? Here in Nashville, the word on the street in that area of town has it about 60 - 40 depending on who you talk to. You know how people like to chatter about these things when it happens around them. The poem itself is a social commentary relevant to today's debate about guns, as well as what is rapidly becoming the infamous weapon of choice, the AR-15.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Was he a "hero" for this act or was he acting stupid? Here in Nashville, the word on the street in that area of town has it about 60 - 40 depending on who you talk to. You know how people like to chatter about these things when it happens around them. The poem itself is a social commentary relevant to today's debate about guns, as well as what is rapidly becoming the infamous weapon of choice, the AR-15.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Yes, Brett, sometimes it pays and can save your life to act stupid. Common sense says to run or hide from the gunman or try to beg for your life. Watching his movements and then rushing him to struggle for his gun is unheard of. Shaw hopes his action encourages others to resist these mass shooters and find opportunities to stop them.
Thank you for your review of my poem and for giving me the results of the Nashville survey.
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Andre'!
I see merit in quoting the article and retelling the facts of the situation, however, from a poetic standpoint it can be considered free verse -as anything can, quite literally. I would much rather see you expand on this brilliant estimation of the situation in the closing stanza:
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
What wonderful poetry you are capable of making by expanding on these ideas.
Great job!
Kim
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Hi Andre'!
I see merit in quoting the article and retelling the facts of the situation, however, from a poetic standpoint it can be considered free verse -as anything can, quite literally. I would much rather see you expand on this brilliant estimation of the situation in the closing stanza:
Within each of us lies the potential for heroism,
to clothe ourselves with a garment of courage
we never knew our closet possessed.
What wonderful poetry you are capable of making by expanding on these ideas.
Great job!
Kim
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Kim, for your review. Several reviewers have also said that this is not poetry but prose. I did not go out to write a poem in the traditional sense, but strip it of its poetic effects. I wanted to tell the facts and use as many quotes as possible from Shaw. My two nods to poetry are the rhymes "fled and shed," and the closing tercet. There is nothing more I want to say on this subject. What remains is what we would do if we are ever in a situation like Shaw. Thanks again.
Comment from F Scott Hafner
I think I already commented on this - no matter, it may be my most favorite work I have read on fanstory. You seem to be moving well with the writer word. Keep up the good wirk
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I think I already commented on this - no matter, it may be my most favorite work I have read on fanstory. You seem to be moving well with the writer word. Keep up the good wirk
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Frank, for your heartfelt review and encouragement and for declaring my poem the favorite work you have read on FanStory. I appreciate it.
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👍
Comment from Zue65
The message is socially relevant and the story within the poem progressed smoothly to drive home your message effectively to the readers. Thanks for sharing this piece to us. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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The message is socially relevant and the story within the poem progressed smoothly to drive home your message effectively to the readers. Thanks for sharing this piece to us. Keep writing.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Thank you, nassus1957, for your review of my socially relevant poem. I'll keep writing.
