Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Palo Pinto"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
17 total reviews
Comment from Katya
This is real good, but not as good as the other two segments you are currently posting, 'Consequences' and 'Master of the Lanes'. I'm afraid I can't say anything specific or helpful as to why I think so. And it IS good.
I have a bit of a credibility problem with the idea of a child being treated like this from babyhood and surviving. Not that I believe that Earl Anthony wasn't really that bad--it's just that I imagine that, to survive, the child must have found some sort of dodge that would let him eat more consistently than depicted here [school lunch might have played a role]; and there has to be an explanation of how he DID get to school consistently enough and in good enough shape to elude the attention of the authorities. I'm not trying to tell you how to tell the story, just letting you know what came up for me when i read it. Good work
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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This is real good, but not as good as the other two segments you are currently posting, 'Consequences' and 'Master of the Lanes'. I'm afraid I can't say anything specific or helpful as to why I think so. And it IS good.
I have a bit of a credibility problem with the idea of a child being treated like this from babyhood and surviving. Not that I believe that Earl Anthony wasn't really that bad--it's just that I imagine that, to survive, the child must have found some sort of dodge that would let him eat more consistently than depicted here [school lunch might have played a role]; and there has to be an explanation of how he DID get to school consistently enough and in good enough shape to elude the attention of the authorities. I'm not trying to tell you how to tell the story, just letting you know what came up for me when i read it. Good work
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 13-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
YOUR STORIES I READ SO MANY TIMES I DO COMMENT ON THEM BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS DERSERVE THE SIX THAT I DIDN'T HAVE BUT TODAY YOU GET MY VERY FIRST SIX WELL WRITTEN AND SO MUCH EMOTION THIS WRITE AND THE OTHERS BEFORE TRUELY HAVE MY ATTENTION IHAD TO LET YOU KNOW
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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YOUR STORIES I READ SO MANY TIMES I DO COMMENT ON THEM BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS DERSERVE THE SIX THAT I DIDN'T HAVE BUT TODAY YOU GET MY VERY FIRST SIX WELL WRITTEN AND SO MUCH EMOTION THIS WRITE AND THE OTHERS BEFORE TRUELY HAVE MY ATTENTION IHAD TO LET YOU KNOW
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you very much. Appreciate the comments, support, and six stars.
Comment from robyn corum
Brett,
I have been off-site for a bit and didn't realize you had started a new story-line? Which confuses me because it seems like you are starting this waaaay back in the beginning. But I am sure it will make sense soon. I have faith. *smile*
One small note, if I may?
1.) Those words rang so true. To
--> Since he is still alive and still believes this, I would suggest 'These words (ring) so true.' -- it's an on-going situation.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Brett,
I have been off-site for a bit and didn't realize you had started a new story-line? Which confuses me because it seems like you are starting this waaaay back in the beginning. But I am sure it will make sense soon. I have faith. *smile*
One small note, if I may?
1.) Those words rang so true. To
--> Since he is still alive and still believes this, I would suggest 'These words (ring) so true.' -- it's an on-going situation.
Thanks!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Not a new storyline. After three books, and several short stories, about Cody, decided to finally depict for his many readers what the relationship between Cody and Earl Anthony Schroder, and Cody's life in Palo Pinto before he came to Astatula, were like. And, to let Cody tell the tale.
Comment from Swampfox1
If all of this is truly real and factual you had a very horrible life and my heart goes out to you. How awful for a child to be raised in such a manner. Very, very sad indeed. Thanks for sharing but I regret reading it because of how horrible it is, indeed.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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If all of this is truly real and factual you had a very horrible life and my heart goes out to you. How awful for a child to be raised in such a manner. Very, very sad indeed. Thanks for sharing but I regret reading it because of how horrible it is, indeed.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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If this comes across as horrible, then I achieved my purpose in presenting this portion of the story in the light I wanted to tell the tale in. Therefore, I take your review as a high compliment indeed. Thank you very much for that. I invite you to come along as the rest of the story is told.
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Ok, will do that, I will come along. Thanks for the invite.
Comment from gene roush
You paint a picture of abuse and anger, that draws on the readers sympathy.
I'd like to see you reach deeper, past the anger, past the fear, and into your heart.
I saw you, but I didn't feel you.
Your story has the potential to change attitudes, and lives.
Thanks for the courage it's taken to share it.
Gene
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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You paint a picture of abuse and anger, that draws on the readers sympathy.
I'd like to see you reach deeper, past the anger, past the fear, and into your heart.
I saw you, but I didn't feel you.
Your story has the potential to change attitudes, and lives.
Thanks for the courage it's taken to share it.
Gene
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. The full revelation of Cody will come out as the story continues to be told. I invite you to follow along as it does.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Sadly the evil abuse this young lad, Cody, suffered still goes on even to this day.
I note this is a biographical post so I can understand the deep emotion embedded in the words.
I'm saddened that you suffered in this way but it makes the story so real to me.
As a childhood victim of abuse and neglect I find your words very real and believable.
Thankfully my story is more psychological than physical abuse.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Sadly the evil abuse this young lad, Cody, suffered still goes on even to this day.
I note this is a biographical post so I can understand the deep emotion embedded in the words.
I'm saddened that you suffered in this way but it makes the story so real to me.
As a childhood victim of abuse and neglect I find your words very real and believable.
Thankfully my story is more psychological than physical abuse.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 23-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Appreciate the review and the six stars.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was another excellent chapter well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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This was another excellent chapter well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate your comments, review, an the six stars.
Comment from JeffHarvy
What a tragic and sad upbringing. I feel terrible about everything that happened to you. This man (?) should be sentenced life imprisonment, probably too good for him. I fail to understand people like this. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your story. Include more details about yourself. Thanks!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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What a tragic and sad upbringing. I feel terrible about everything that happened to you. This man (?) should be sentenced life imprisonment, probably too good for him. I fail to understand people like this. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your story. Include more details about yourself. Thanks!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review. I also invite you to follow along as the story continues.
Comment from emptypage
Yeah, you needn't love him. My mother raped me daily, and often her brothers did, too, and I hated them all. My mother tried to kill me and told people she should have aborted me.
But I forgave my mother about a year before she died... she had overdosed and sort of lost her mind. It was the only year of my life where she wasn't abusive with her every word.
I never told her I forgave her. That was between me and God. But I'll swear to you, my life was a thousand times easier after I forgave her than before I did.
And, his antics deteriorated from there. ---No "And" needed.
Knowing this, do you still judge me wrong for my hatred of Earl Anthony Schroder, reader? --Why do you feel the need to defend yourself?
Being biographical, this could have been much more powerful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Yeah, you needn't love him. My mother raped me daily, and often her brothers did, too, and I hated them all. My mother tried to kill me and told people she should have aborted me.
But I forgave my mother about a year before she died... she had overdosed and sort of lost her mind. It was the only year of my life where she wasn't abusive with her every word.
I never told her I forgave her. That was between me and God. But I'll swear to you, my life was a thousand times easier after I forgave her than before I did.
And, his antics deteriorated from there. ---No "And" needed.
Knowing this, do you still judge me wrong for my hatred of Earl Anthony Schroder, reader? --Why do you feel the need to defend yourself?
Being biographical, this could have been much more powerful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your review. I believe the rest of Cody's story has been covered in Astatula. This was powerful enough to get the message across I wanted to.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Brett, :)
I haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing? I hope you are well.
I was emotionally abused by an aunt. It seemed that everyone was on her side, now that I think of it, it was probably because they were scared too. I didn't want to tell anyone either. I did and boy I got it!
Take care,
Nome
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Hello, Brett, :)
I haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing? I hope you are well.
I was emotionally abused by an aunt. It seemed that everyone was on her side, now that I think of it, it was probably because they were scared too. I didn't want to tell anyone either. I did and boy I got it!
Take care,
Nome
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate your support and the review.
