Comment from karenina

Excellent

I liked this. Succesd is defined all different ways, I suppoze.....but if you find yoursrlf on the fast track of the rat race with a fat wallet and no smile it is time to reasses. Better small town hardware store thsn BMW and an early heart attack!


Karenina

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this piece. You got it exactly; sometimes we have to learn the hard way that life is more than making money. estory

reply by karenina on 24-Apr-2018

You didca great job making an important point!

Comment from Harry Smith

Excellent

This story had the reader interested from the beginning until the end. It is written with lots and lots of imagery. The reader really enjoyed the read and will be returning.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting this story. estory

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi estory, I loved this narrative about you and your brother. He went through quite a life change and for the better. I really liked all the back story that helped to understand what went on before, but as you so often tell me, a bit more of dialogue wouldn't go amiss. Not much more, mind you. I really enjoyed it, and I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments and suggestions. This is a fiction story. it went through some heavy rewriting, and I think this was jotted out and will need some more adjustments before it is finished. More dialogue for sure. But this kind of in the style of Cheever, so dialogue will be in and out. estory

Comment from JudiBee

Good

I almost thought this was going to end with some sort of tragedy but it turns out it was about averting tragedy. I kept thinking of those Cat's Cradle lyrics (can't remember the song name or artist). I felt the enjoyment of family time reading these words and how we are in it and don't realize how wonderful it can be until we are no longer there - in those moments.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks for the good review and your comments about the story. This one has a happy ending. For some reason, not many do. It went through many rewrites, pretty extensive rewriting, and I think it will be fleshed out a bit more before i'm through with it. estory

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Sometimes our dreams are not the right ones. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting the story, glad you enjoyed it estory

reply by c_lucas on 20-Apr-2018

You're welcome.

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Exceptional

I loved this story. It is the story of so many, but sadly they never get to the family is more important stage and love money more than all else. I love the ending. This was so well done. I saw no error. Really great. Rox

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks again for this six star review and all your support for this story. the reviews were all over the map, and I think after an extensive rewrite, it needs a bit more fleshing out. estory

reply by Roxanna Andrews on 20-Apr-2018

My reviews are like that too, this last chapter got 1 3star review and 1 6star. I think it is the taste of the reader and what they like. I like all kinds of writing and find so many talented people on this site. I learn just from reading and study their style. But I have my own way of writing and for some it is wonderful and for others not so great. =}

Comment from Ginnygray

Excellent

Listening to this story as I read kept me thinking that your brother had missed out on what was so very important in life. He was materialistic which never stands over time, but in the end, he struck the goal of life which is FAMILY and loyal friends and a job that's steady to provide for your family so that you have the TIME to be with that family in the important events of their life! He returned to church to hopefully meet the One who gives everyone His unfailing love and Protection and teaches us what is most important, Love!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks for rhe excellent review. I think you got this one right on the head. This is exactly what I was getting at in this story. I want to flesh it out a bit more, it went through an extensive rewrite before posting. estory