Reviews from

Rude Interruption

Shotguns can be dangerous to one's health.

41 total reviews 
Comment from phaedra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An enjoyable professional read. You will be getting many positive reviews in the real world If you decide to publish this. I do suggest the character keep the same names if you publish in book form.

Phaedra

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Phaedra.
Comment from rheabug
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You do amazing works with your words. I hope to read your poetry book on aging. I am 71 years old so it should hit the nail on the head! Of course, I have loved your western stories for years. You have a real talent and thank you for sharing it with us on fanstory. HUGS

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review, coments and stars, Rhea
Comment from dweigt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good stuff. Glad to see you are continuing this story. It is a stirring action sequence, and when it slows you show the tension between Jerry and the Sheriff and good interaction between Jerry and Pearson.

"Property of Sheriff Duncan," Jerry turned the shot-gun around -> You should end the dialogue with a period here.

Wash your chest with a warm water solution -> Curious about what the doc meant here. Solution of what? Warm water by itself is not a solution. But dialogue can be inexact and incorrect, so maybe this is OK.

I still find your use of multiple names for Jerry/Tumbleweed confusing. I understand that different characters may refer to him by different names, and the same character might address him differently at times. But I think it would be easier on the reader if the narrator of the story always used the same name for the character. That is a convention most writers seem to follow, even if there is no strict rule about it.

Looking forward to more.

Keep writing!


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review, comments, and editing.
Comment from Bergbomb
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So are tumbleweed and Jerry the same person? Also I would change "shooter fired" to "had fired"
Other than that I love it, I can't wait to read the rest

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments Bergbomb. Charlie
Comment from nassus1957
Excellent
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I enjoy reading western fiction, especially the romance angle between love struck young cowboy and a winsome lass. The action in western stories are also interesting and exciting. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments Nassus. Charlie
Comment from GWinterwin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Enjoyed your chapter about the rude interruption, and six guns along with shot guns makes for a very rude interruption. Good imaginary from the words used as shotgun pellets scatter everywhere. Good job.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, GW. Charlie
Comment from Janilou
Excellent
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A great chapter. Glad he still gets to go to the dance and with a brand new shirt to boot!
I dodnt find any errors or edit needed.


The rancher answered before the sheriff could speak, "Someone tried to ventilate Jerry with a ten-gauge."

Great description! Lol

All the best
Jan

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Jan. Charlie
Comment from Ricky1024
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hey Charlie.
Haven't heard from you for a while.
This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
    Having to deal with my illness. Thank you for your review, comments and stars, Ricky. Charlie
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations on publishing your first book, with a catchy title. Best wishes with the future publication of the westerns, now that you've gotten your feet wet.

I admired the dramatic beginning of this chapter and was glad that Tumbleweed had only minor, flesh wounds. That "unfinished business" should be quite uncomfortable to the sheriff! Smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Joan. All will be revealed in the next post.
reply by Joan E. on 19-Apr-2018
    I can hardly wait! Cheers- Joan
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey C_LUCAS... I love reading a western theme. They have disappeared off the screen and are always so entertaining. The language feels so right. Great. Fast Read. yours, diana

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Diana. Charlie