The Weavers
A rhyming poem for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
This is a good entry for the contest. Very well written and I love the message. Here in North America we killed about 50,000,000 Native Americans. That is a staggering number and left only a handful alive. A lot of them died from blankets that had been laced with smallpox and then given to them as gifts. They had no immunity so they died quickly and gave it to each other. The white man has so much to be ashamed a about. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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This is a good entry for the contest. Very well written and I love the message. Here in North America we killed about 50,000,000 Native Americans. That is a staggering number and left only a handful alive. A lot of them died from blankets that had been laced with smallpox and then given to them as gifts. They had no immunity so they died quickly and gave it to each other. The white man has so much to be ashamed a about. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 12-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Thanks, Pam. I appreciate your review and kind words about my poem. The barbarism with which many of the indigenous people around the world were treated is quite unbelievable. Here in Australia there were many instances of Aborigines being given bags of flour laced with arsenic. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
This is a fine rhymed poem and entry for the contest.
Arrogance, indifference, greed
The story told in every land of the disregard
and disrespect of the land and the people
by the white man invaders.
What irony, that the most "advanced" is the least worthy.
A most interesting form of alternating 7, 4 syllable lines
and aaab rhymes and slant rhymes
Well done
Best wishes to you, my friend
Robert
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Hello Tony,
This is a fine rhymed poem and entry for the contest.
Arrogance, indifference, greed
The story told in every land of the disregard
and disrespect of the land and the people
by the white man invaders.
What irony, that the most "advanced" is the least worthy.
A most interesting form of alternating 7, 4 syllable lines
and aaab rhymes and slant rhymes
Well done
Best wishes to you, my friend
Robert
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Thank you very much for your review, Robert, and for the six stars. Appreciated! Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and presentation.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-I like the style of the poem
and the repeated last line.
-You show the artistry and life
of the early weavers, content in
their life, bothering no one.
-It is a shame when their
'wisdom is lost,' and eventually
the environment suffers because
of misuse of natural resources.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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-Good image and presentation.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-I like the style of the poem
and the repeated last line.
-You show the artistry and life
of the early weavers, content in
their life, bothering no one.
-It is a shame when their
'wisdom is lost,' and eventually
the environment suffers because
of misuse of natural resources.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Thank you very much for your review, Pam, and for the sixth star. . Appreciated! Tony.
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony.
Comment from sunnilicious
Great poem. Well thought out. Strong visual imagery created. Creative. Nice flow of vowel assonance. Good rhythm. Good rhyming. Great narrative storytelling in a poem. Nice work :)
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2018
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Great poem. Well thought out. Strong visual imagery created. Creative. Nice flow of vowel assonance. Good rhythm. Good rhyming. Great narrative storytelling in a poem. Nice work :)
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2018
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Such kind words, Alicia! Thank you so much. I'm glad that this one gave you pleasure. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Oatmeal
TFAWCUS,
Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow was very nice. This is a beautiful poem. I liked it very much. It made for an enjoyable read. The flow was smooth. The theme well thought out. The artwork completed your poem.
It's a very clean piece. I saw no typos or SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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TFAWCUS,
Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow was very nice. This is a beautiful poem. I liked it very much. It made for an enjoyable read. The flow was smooth. The theme well thought out. The artwork completed your poem.
It's a very clean piece. I saw no typos or SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Thank you very much for your review, Oatmeal, and for the sixth star. Appreciated! Tony.
Comment from His Grayness
I really enjoyed this truly outstanding and beautifully delivered work, so well presented in excellent art and coloration. The enlightenment about this culture is very rich and interesting and I thank this gifted author for such a rare and delightful read. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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I really enjoyed this truly outstanding and beautifully delivered work, so well presented in excellent art and coloration. The enlightenment about this culture is very rich and interesting and I thank this gifted author for such a rare and delightful read. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for dropping by to review, Vance, and for awarding my poem six stars. Much appreciated as always. All the best, Tony
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Brother Roy, you are a rare and precious gift to all who are touched by your lovely gifts of brilliant and rich thoughts and gratitude! Blessings! Vance
Comment from Swampfox1
Good luck in the contest. I can't say that I love it because I somewhat feel a slap in the face at "white man" this and "white man" that. I wonder what would be said if it were "black man" this and "black man" that. Greed doesn't envelope and control the mind of every single white man, some people act human regardless of color and some people are Christ followers regardless of color. I find the "white man" creates to large a label.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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Good luck in the contest. I can't say that I love it because I somewhat feel a slap in the face at "white man" this and "white man" that. I wonder what would be said if it were "black man" this and "black man" that. Greed doesn't envelope and control the mind of every single white man, some people act human regardless of color and some people are Christ followers regardless of color. I find the "white man" creates to large a label.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for dropping by to review, Swampfox. Appreciated. Sorry I've been so long in responding. Life's a bit hectic at the moment.
I was using the term 'white man' in an historic sense, specifically meaning the early settlers who came to South Australia in the mid-19th century. They brought with them European farming practices quite unsuited to the fragile Australian environment and thousands of square miles of land were turned into desert in a few decades. They also treated the Aboriginal people abysmally in many well-documented instances. I agree with you, though, that by no means all of the settlers were like that, and it is wrong to generalise on racial grounds or those of colour. The main problems were ignorance and fear.
All the best, Tony
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You're welcome. No problem.
Comment from Harry Smith
Another exceptionally well written poem with a very good picture selection that complimented the poem that has lots and lots of imagery. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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Another exceptionally well written poem with a very good picture selection that complimented the poem that has lots and lots of imagery. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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Thanks, Harry. Glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate your comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from Roxanne Barbour
I enjoyed a great deal of this poem.
Although I found some of your stanzas awkward, the image were still there.
Take another look at the number of syllables--it is amazing to me how important that is.
Keep writing.
Roxanne
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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I enjoyed a great deal of this poem.
Although I found some of your stanzas awkward, the image were still there.
Take another look at the number of syllables--it is amazing to me how important that is.
Keep writing.
Roxanne
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks for your review, Roxanne. The poem is written to a strict syllable count of 7-4-7-4 in each stanza, which means that the 7-syllable lines are not in iambic rhythm. I can appreciate that this may sound strange to an ear attuned to the iambic hexameter and pentameter rhythms that are prevalent here. Best wishes, Tony
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Thanks for pointing that out.
Most of these forms are new to me, and I'm just trying to figure them out.
Thanks.
Roxanne
Comment from marinaluv
What a beautiful ode to history not talked about. This is the kind of statement poetry that needs to be planted in our school systems and communities, there is so much learning to be done. Thank you.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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What a beautiful ode to history not talked about. This is the kind of statement poetry that needs to be planted in our school systems and communities, there is so much learning to be done. Thank you.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for your comments, Marina. You are right about environmental studies being an important part of school curricula these days. It is only by education that any real change can be made. Best wishes, Tony
