The Successful Treasure Hunt
The comedy of errors on the hunt for treasure7 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
The verbiage takes away from the story, however, it is a good story. I would chalk it up to prose, especially to all the alliterations sprinkled in. Well thought out. Good narrative storytelling carried through until and end. Good work :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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The verbiage takes away from the story, however, it is a good story. I would chalk it up to prose, especially to all the alliterations sprinkled in. Well thought out. Good narrative storytelling carried through until and end. Good work :)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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This is a severely cropped, longer culmination of chapters of the 2nd book in a series Be Wee With Bea. It was so difficult to cut it to only 1500 words. I love alliteration. I'm pleased you recognized it. Thank you for your comprehensive review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Liz. I enjoyed reading this well-described story, but I do have a few suggestions for the reader to get the most out of this charming story.
It would be nice to have a little introduction to the animals rather than jumping right in with the story OR describing them as you go--by slipping in a little bit about them here and there. Sentences seem to be confusing in spots. Commas inserted would create a logical pause for better understanding. The type font is quite small and the single spacing adds to the problem. Suggest larger font and double spacing. Much luck in the contest with this worthy entry. Marilyn
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Hi Liz. I enjoyed reading this well-described story, but I do have a few suggestions for the reader to get the most out of this charming story.
It would be nice to have a little introduction to the animals rather than jumping right in with the story OR describing them as you go--by slipping in a little bit about them here and there. Sentences seem to be confusing in spots. Commas inserted would create a logical pause for better understanding. The type font is quite small and the single spacing adds to the problem. Suggest larger font and double spacing. Much luck in the contest with this worthy entry. Marilyn
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your detailed review. The problem is I was allowed 1500 or less words. Wow is that a challenge. This actually is a severely tweaked cropped couple of chapters in my 2nd book in process in the published series Be Wee With Bea, an allegorical autobiography. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Treasure Hunt writing prompt.
Your story is well written and an interesting take on the treasure hunt theme.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the Treasure Hunt writing prompt.
Your story is well written and an interesting take on the treasure hunt theme.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your encouraging review. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from meeshu
very well written. fast paced action and quick style writing that accelerates the story. chopped sentences leave the reader trying to catch their breath.
excellent story, well told.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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very well written. fast paced action and quick style writing that accelerates the story. chopped sentences leave the reader trying to catch their breath.
excellent story, well told.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Thank you form you uplifting and comprehensive review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This is a very cute story. I am so glad they were finally able to get the treasure that they worked so hard to have. It is a story children would love. I saw no errors. I hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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This is a very cute story. I am so glad they were finally able to get the treasure that they worked so hard to have. It is a story children would love. I saw no errors. I hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your amusing review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
'silent screaming', what great image. I liked your story, and it is a fun and entertaining read that would appeal to a large audience, both adults, and children. A comedy of errors, indeed. I couldn't see your name so I don't know who wrote this, but I enjoyed it and think you write with flair. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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'silent screaming', what great image. I liked your story, and it is a fun and entertaining read that would appeal to a large audience, both adults, and children. A comedy of errors, indeed. I couldn't see your name so I don't know who wrote this, but I enjoyed it and think you write with flair. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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I am Liz O'Neill ...we have a mutual admiration...This is actually a serious "cropping" of a chapter second book I'm writing in a series Be Wee With Bea, which is published. I'm glad you see that it is a Winnie the Pooh genre, enjoyed by all. It is more of the Dumpster Diving escapades. Thank you
Comment from Harry Smith
First good luck with the contest. This short story is very well written with lots of imagery and emotions and the reader really enjoyed reading this short story.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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First good luck with the contest. This short story is very well written with lots of imagery and emotions and the reader really enjoyed reading this short story.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your affirming review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
